I was not looking forward to celebrating Christmas at all. I didn't want to deal with people coming to the house, my grandma getting drunk and having to deal with my father who doesn't want to do anything, but wants to take all the credit. And all that stuff happened, but something unexpected happened too.
I was lamenting on Facebook about how much I wasn't looking forward to Christmas and Martha invited me up to Ventura to spend Christmas with them...then Jacquie said I should come up for Christmas Aft fondue at her house (it was more like come up here or feel my wraith). So on Christmas day I told my mom that I would be going to Ventura on Saturday and I invited her, but she didn't want to go. So I went and you know what! I had a ball....
I really enjoy the Gill, Alderson, Bangs family and felt so humbled by all the hugs and warm wishes I received when I got there. Even the kids were cool (even though I'm not sure they knew who I was). I spent the whole day there, just hanging out, talking, playing games, eating and enjoying the day! I had so much fun that I will fondly remember this day as my Christmas.
It was really nice to be around all that love and joy for the day. I had a great time!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
I just don't get it?!
I was reading the headlines on google news yesterday and came across one that simply left me speechless.
Apparently Danny Glover (of Lethal Weapon fame) came out and said that the President isn't doing enough for black people. To which the President basically replied, I'm the President of the United States not the President of Black People. I like that come back.
For me as a black woman, I can be proud to say that this Black Man has set an example as a man, husband, father, leader that the black community rarely sees. So that, in it self, is enough! Now, on the whole, as a citizen of this country, I do believe that our President is doing his best. I believe that he is, in fact, working his butt off to rebuild our crumbling economy and overblown self-righteousness. I think he's hard at work trying to make a difference in what short time he has (at this point I don't have high hopes that the American people will re-elect him). In this 11 months he's had in office he has accomplished so much, but people only see what they want.
The question that always pops into my mind is, "would this be happening if he was white?"...truthfully, I hate to admit it, but I don't think it would. I believe that if President Barack Obama was President Tom Doe he wouldn't be under that same pressure. I am frankly, very angry that anyone in the black community can be so selfish. I don't get it, maybe it's because I didn't grow up in the black community, but at some point we, as black people, have to stop pointing the one finger at others and look at those three that are pointing back at us!
He never said he was going to Washington to paint the White House Black. He never said he was going to make things better for only black people. He said he would do his best to restore this country to it's former greatness...trying to bring EVERYONE to a greater standing as a whole. It's not his fault that people in the black community only saw the color of his skin and voted for him because of it (which makes you as bad as the people who voted against him because of it) and didn't listen to him speak or learn about his brand of politics. Black people if you thought he was going to come out fist baring telling "whitey" to pay up or whatever then you obviously need to go back under whatever rock you came from. Because you missed the point.
Maybe my father is right, maybe this country will always be corrupt, maybe black people will always face challenges, but right now, he's not the one causing the divide...."black activists" like Danny Glover are....
And Black People if you really want to hate on a black political figure hate on Michael Steele, leader of the Republican Party....yes he's black!
Apparently Danny Glover (of Lethal Weapon fame) came out and said that the President isn't doing enough for black people. To which the President basically replied, I'm the President of the United States not the President of Black People. I like that come back.
For me as a black woman, I can be proud to say that this Black Man has set an example as a man, husband, father, leader that the black community rarely sees. So that, in it self, is enough! Now, on the whole, as a citizen of this country, I do believe that our President is doing his best. I believe that he is, in fact, working his butt off to rebuild our crumbling economy and overblown self-righteousness. I think he's hard at work trying to make a difference in what short time he has (at this point I don't have high hopes that the American people will re-elect him). In this 11 months he's had in office he has accomplished so much, but people only see what they want.
The question that always pops into my mind is, "would this be happening if he was white?"...truthfully, I hate to admit it, but I don't think it would. I believe that if President Barack Obama was President Tom Doe he wouldn't be under that same pressure. I am frankly, very angry that anyone in the black community can be so selfish. I don't get it, maybe it's because I didn't grow up in the black community, but at some point we, as black people, have to stop pointing the one finger at others and look at those three that are pointing back at us!
He never said he was going to Washington to paint the White House Black. He never said he was going to make things better for only black people. He said he would do his best to restore this country to it's former greatness...trying to bring EVERYONE to a greater standing as a whole. It's not his fault that people in the black community only saw the color of his skin and voted for him because of it (which makes you as bad as the people who voted against him because of it) and didn't listen to him speak or learn about his brand of politics. Black people if you thought he was going to come out fist baring telling "whitey" to pay up or whatever then you obviously need to go back under whatever rock you came from. Because you missed the point.
Maybe my father is right, maybe this country will always be corrupt, maybe black people will always face challenges, but right now, he's not the one causing the divide...."black activists" like Danny Glover are....
And Black People if you really want to hate on a black political figure hate on Michael Steele, leader of the Republican Party....yes he's black!
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Happiness is a Gift!
This morning I laid away most of the day. It's just way to cold to do anything, and tomorrow we are having a storm...yes "storm watch" has officially hit Southern California! So I didn't do anything today...in fact, I mostly stayed in bed so I wouldn't have to endure any coverage for the Florida Gators loss to Alabama. It was tough to watch, but I did. Then I promptly turned the television off and went about my business.
I thought it was going to be hard when I finally got out of the bed and onto the Net to see what everyone in the sports world was saying about the game. It's funny, I watched an interview with Tim Tebow (Florida Quarterback) before I got out of the bed. I didn't get to watch it prior to the game so I watched it today. In it he said, "I know that when the good happens it God's will and when the bad happens it God's will, so I'm okay with it." In context of the game...that's a great thing to hear. But in context of life, it's AMAZING!
The truth is everything that happens is in God's hands...and no matter what happens in this life, he is in control of it all! He will lead us, walk beside us and carry us when we need it, so there's no need to sit around and think what if?. All we can do is ask God for his grace, joy and love. For Him to protect us and ultimately do His will. I think that the most important thing is to get out of His way and just let it all happen.
Anywho, I finally got up this morning and was incredibly upbeat, happy and joyful! I didn't really feel bad about the game or anything else for that matter. I actually feel pretty great. I don't know if I really chose to be happy today, because frankly I don't know where this happiness is coming from, but I hope it lasts!
I even had a moment, when I thought about the things I need to do tomorrow at work, and I was almost giddy about it. I am so happy that I don't have to do hospitality anymore and that I am now freed up to work on other stuff, learn and expand my knowledge base, so that I can move on to bigger and better things! I'm trying to treat everyday like a learning experience and ultimately the things I learn in work are going expand me in more ways than just work!
So again, I know happiness is a choice, I know I'm choosing to be happy with my circumstances everyday! But today my happiness was completely unexpected and very welcome! It's a great day!
Until Next Time...
I thought it was going to be hard when I finally got out of the bed and onto the Net to see what everyone in the sports world was saying about the game. It's funny, I watched an interview with Tim Tebow (Florida Quarterback) before I got out of the bed. I didn't get to watch it prior to the game so I watched it today. In it he said, "I know that when the good happens it God's will and when the bad happens it God's will, so I'm okay with it." In context of the game...that's a great thing to hear. But in context of life, it's AMAZING!
The truth is everything that happens is in God's hands...and no matter what happens in this life, he is in control of it all! He will lead us, walk beside us and carry us when we need it, so there's no need to sit around and think what if?. All we can do is ask God for his grace, joy and love. For Him to protect us and ultimately do His will. I think that the most important thing is to get out of His way and just let it all happen.
Anywho, I finally got up this morning and was incredibly upbeat, happy and joyful! I didn't really feel bad about the game or anything else for that matter. I actually feel pretty great. I don't know if I really chose to be happy today, because frankly I don't know where this happiness is coming from, but I hope it lasts!
I even had a moment, when I thought about the things I need to do tomorrow at work, and I was almost giddy about it. I am so happy that I don't have to do hospitality anymore and that I am now freed up to work on other stuff, learn and expand my knowledge base, so that I can move on to bigger and better things! I'm trying to treat everyday like a learning experience and ultimately the things I learn in work are going expand me in more ways than just work!
So again, I know happiness is a choice, I know I'm choosing to be happy with my circumstances everyday! But today my happiness was completely unexpected and very welcome! It's a great day!
Until Next Time...
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Doesn't matter if your Fat or Skinny...
I love Victoria Beckham. I love her style and I love the way she carries herself. I think that she is a great lady in the way that she knows how to dress for the appropriate situation whether she's meeting the queen or walking through the park with her husband. Many people would probably be surprised that I like her, but if you really know me, it wouldn't surprise you! I long for the days when people actually got dressed up to go out of their house, whether it be to run to the market or to go out to dinner. There was a time where women dressed and acted like ladies and men dressed and acted like gentlemen. I miss that time, but I admire people like David and Victoria Beckham for bringing a little of that class back into this society of dressing like a ho and pimp!
Now, there is one thing that people would find offensive about Victoria...she's super skinny. Yes she is...funny thing, it never bothered me that she's so small. I never thought about it like that. I never saw past the great outfit to see what size was shown on the labels.
I'm not skinny and I've never been skinny. I don't think I ever will be and I don't strive to be! I strive to be happy....happy within myself and the body, personality and traits I've been given. I can't buy the clothes (size or designers) that she can, but I can hold myself up like a lady.
I don't consider myself fat, although others may, I am overweight, chunky, hefty even. But I'm not fat. Am I happy with the size I am? Sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not, most times I don't care. I do care if I'm healthy though. I don't always make the right decisions on what I do or eat, and if I did I may not be the size I am, but I may not be much smaller than I am now either.
We have such a false sense of beauty in this country that striving for what we see around us will destroy us! Shouldn't we be striving to be happy with ourselves? There are women and men who work out everyday and will never be a size smaller than 10. Not because they don't take care of themselves, but because their body isn't the stereotypical type.
I have a co-worker who's going on a new health plan. I'm happy for her, but I've been trying to make sure she's doing it for the right reasons...mainly for herself. Not because of what other people think she should do or look like. She's not fat by any means, but she's not happy with certain parts of her body and she wants to fix them. Good for her! I'm glad for her and will do my best to be encouraging! I've been doing the same for someone else that I work with. She wasn't happy and decided to do something about it. I try to encourage her with my humor and wit. I will continue to do this until she doesn't need it anymore. But I think everyone needs some encouragement.
To me it doesn't matter if you're fat or skinny as long as your happy. I can understand people wanting to be healthy, you can be healthy and large...you can be skinny and very healthy, but ultimately you have to be happy within yourself. Because if you're happy you won't care what the world says you should be. Besides if you look around you'll see that most of people who try to tell you what you should be really aren't happy with themselves!
Don't Hold On To It....Just Let It Go!!!
There are people in my life that I am inherently like...I can't help that my learned traits (and some I was born with) mirror the people who've been around me my entire life. I have excepted that I will always default to these traits, whether I like it or not, I just do. I've been called a brat and evil. I've been told that I am so selfish that I am destroying some one's life. I have, in fact, taken these very harsh and negative words used to hurt me and tried to do my best not to ultimately become like the person who launched them at me.
Over the years I've held on to things that frankly, weren't worth a second thought. I've thought about them time and again, allowed them to bring me to anger or tears and denied myself letting them go for the thought of "I'll get them back one day". But really will I get them back? Will I have the balls to bring it up in conversation?...will I ever even see the person who offended me? Probably not! I hold on to them because I'm too weak to just let it go.
About ten years ago I realized the path I was on and set out to not be like certain people around me. I found people I could learn good positive things from and I grew closer to them, leaving behind old ways and people. I've learned to love without condition, see with new eyes and from a different perspective and most importantly I've learned to let things go and forgive.
Forgiveness is not for the offender, but the offended. Some people will never know that they hurt you or that you are angry with them. Some may know and not care...90 percent of the offenses we will encounter won't end in an apology. So we treat them like unresolved situations when really we should just forgive and move on.
A prominent figure in my life has been holding on to things for most of my life. If you ask why he/she feels that way about someone or something they'll tell you a story that happened in the 70's, 80's or maybe even the 60's. The rational they use to hold on to this doesn't make sense and is actually tiring. This person can tell you they don't get along with a family member because that person borrowed money and never paid it back...it happened in 1980 something...the borrower doesn't remember and if you're not going to remind them just drop it!
Over these years I've been offended, I've forgiven and moved on. I've tried, with great effort, not to hold on to anything that isn't productive to my life. My resolve has been tested, but I always try to defer to what I learned as a child...Forgive and forget, turn the other cheek. Over time (AFTER you've forgiven), you may be able to forget but only after you remove it from your mind with forgiveness. God calls us to forgive, FOR US, for our peace of mind, for our growth and spiritual awareness. There's no reason to hold on to things that are not productive. There's no reason to hold on to something for 20 years, when you're not ready to step up and voice you're opinion on it.
If you must hold on to it, don't be a coward, speak. But my advice would be to let it go...you'll feel better and maybe, just maybe, you can let your overall bitterness go and people would want to share in a moment with you!
Now, all that being said, I do have one thing I struggle with in this regard. (If you knew the story you probably wouldn't hesitate to allow me this one thing.) It's a struggle that God has been trying to walk me through most of my life. There are days when I feel like I can forgive, then there are days when I choose to hold on to it. I'm not perfect, minor offenses I will readily let go...but this HUGE trauma will ALWAYS effect me and my relationships forever! I don't think that God will rush me through it, He understand the pain and loss...but He has called me to forgive and that I will always try my best to do!
Over the years I've held on to things that frankly, weren't worth a second thought. I've thought about them time and again, allowed them to bring me to anger or tears and denied myself letting them go for the thought of "I'll get them back one day". But really will I get them back? Will I have the balls to bring it up in conversation?...will I ever even see the person who offended me? Probably not! I hold on to them because I'm too weak to just let it go.
About ten years ago I realized the path I was on and set out to not be like certain people around me. I found people I could learn good positive things from and I grew closer to them, leaving behind old ways and people. I've learned to love without condition, see with new eyes and from a different perspective and most importantly I've learned to let things go and forgive.
Forgiveness is not for the offender, but the offended. Some people will never know that they hurt you or that you are angry with them. Some may know and not care...90 percent of the offenses we will encounter won't end in an apology. So we treat them like unresolved situations when really we should just forgive and move on.
A prominent figure in my life has been holding on to things for most of my life. If you ask why he/she feels that way about someone or something they'll tell you a story that happened in the 70's, 80's or maybe even the 60's. The rational they use to hold on to this doesn't make sense and is actually tiring. This person can tell you they don't get along with a family member because that person borrowed money and never paid it back...it happened in 1980 something...the borrower doesn't remember and if you're not going to remind them just drop it!
Over these years I've been offended, I've forgiven and moved on. I've tried, with great effort, not to hold on to anything that isn't productive to my life. My resolve has been tested, but I always try to defer to what I learned as a child...Forgive and forget, turn the other cheek. Over time (AFTER you've forgiven), you may be able to forget but only after you remove it from your mind with forgiveness. God calls us to forgive, FOR US, for our peace of mind, for our growth and spiritual awareness. There's no reason to hold on to things that are not productive. There's no reason to hold on to something for 20 years, when you're not ready to step up and voice you're opinion on it.
If you must hold on to it, don't be a coward, speak. But my advice would be to let it go...you'll feel better and maybe, just maybe, you can let your overall bitterness go and people would want to share in a moment with you!
Now, all that being said, I do have one thing I struggle with in this regard. (If you knew the story you probably wouldn't hesitate to allow me this one thing.) It's a struggle that God has been trying to walk me through most of my life. There are days when I feel like I can forgive, then there are days when I choose to hold on to it. I'm not perfect, minor offenses I will readily let go...but this HUGE trauma will ALWAYS effect me and my relationships forever! I don't think that God will rush me through it, He understand the pain and loss...but He has called me to forgive and that I will always try my best to do!
Happiness Is a Choice!
I once hear someone say, love is a choice...you don't fall in and out of love. you choose every day to love someone or something! I've thought, mediated and reflected on that thought on many occasions since then. I do believe that statement, I do believe that we choose who we love. Even the people we don't like (certain family members or friends of friends or people you go to church with) we may choose to love. I was recently reflecting on my current state of happiness and how, despite being frustrated and anger at time throughout the year, I have been happy! I'm choosing everyday to be happy and thankful for the blessings I have in my life.
I'm choosing!
We take for granted the every day mundane things we have in our lives...the ability to think rationally, the ability to breathe without help, the ability to walk, talk, smell, see, use our hands...small things that we just do (hey the ability to blink). We don't necessarily think "oh it's time to sallow" or "it's time to blink"...no, our bodies just to do it! And that's a miraculous thing. So why not be thankful for it or happy to have it?
I've had a difficult year at work, but no matter how hard it got I was happy that I had a job, when so many do not. I've looked at the circumstances of my life. They aren't perfect...there are certainly things I want (don't need'em, but want'em), but I have chosen to wake up every day and be happy with what I have. God has blessed me with so much and everyday I am happy to experience what He has in store for me, whether it be hard or easy. It's part of the journey and I am happy to still be on it.
There are people around me that only see the negative. I feel bad for them, they have completely missed the point. They don't see the smallest blessings...I would take the small ones over the big ones any day. I am happy to have friends, however few, I am happy to see that they are happy. We never seem to really be happy because there's always something we can find the negative in...but maybe, just maybe, if we stop looking for the negative and focus on the positive we can truly be happy within our own situation.
So, yes I can stand up and say that I believe, truly, that happiness is a choice and I choose everyday to be happy in my small life in this world. I don't care how big it is, I just care that I am blessed and happy! I hope that you can choose to be happy too!
Until Next Time
I'm choosing!
We take for granted the every day mundane things we have in our lives...the ability to think rationally, the ability to breathe without help, the ability to walk, talk, smell, see, use our hands...small things that we just do (hey the ability to blink). We don't necessarily think "oh it's time to sallow" or "it's time to blink"...no, our bodies just to do it! And that's a miraculous thing. So why not be thankful for it or happy to have it?
I've had a difficult year at work, but no matter how hard it got I was happy that I had a job, when so many do not. I've looked at the circumstances of my life. They aren't perfect...there are certainly things I want (don't need'em, but want'em), but I have chosen to wake up every day and be happy with what I have. God has blessed me with so much and everyday I am happy to experience what He has in store for me, whether it be hard or easy. It's part of the journey and I am happy to still be on it.
There are people around me that only see the negative. I feel bad for them, they have completely missed the point. They don't see the smallest blessings...I would take the small ones over the big ones any day. I am happy to have friends, however few, I am happy to see that they are happy. We never seem to really be happy because there's always something we can find the negative in...but maybe, just maybe, if we stop looking for the negative and focus on the positive we can truly be happy within our own situation.
So, yes I can stand up and say that I believe, truly, that happiness is a choice and I choose everyday to be happy in my small life in this world. I don't care how big it is, I just care that I am blessed and happy! I hope that you can choose to be happy too!
Until Next Time
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thanksgiving 2009
So this was going to be a Happy Day full of food and family and of course...it ends with me being treated like a second class citizen, because my father has issues with me. Whatever, his problems are his problems and there is nothing on this earth I can do to make him happy. So I stopped trying to understand him or make him happy a long time ago. I just try my best to NOT be like him.
Thanksgiving is a day about family and being thankful for the things and people you have in your life! I try my best to be thankful everyday, but this is a day where we sit down and actually think about what we have to be thankful for!
In this time of economic trauma a lot of people will find it difficult to find thankfulness...which makes me even more thankful for what I've been blessed with this year. I'm not going to name everything...but there is one thing I am especially grateful to God for...he has showed me what I am missing and though I'm not all the way back I'm slowly making my way to him.
I am grateful most of all for the opportunity I had to volunteer this year and I'm thankful that my mom and Amber and Danae wanted to do it too!
Like I said I have tons of reasons to be thankful! But I just wanted to share those two things...I'm not trying to pat myself on the back...just trying to remember that feeling...which was awesome!
Thank You!
Thanksgiving is a day about family and being thankful for the things and people you have in your life! I try my best to be thankful everyday, but this is a day where we sit down and actually think about what we have to be thankful for!
In this time of economic trauma a lot of people will find it difficult to find thankfulness...which makes me even more thankful for what I've been blessed with this year. I'm not going to name everything...but there is one thing I am especially grateful to God for...he has showed me what I am missing and though I'm not all the way back I'm slowly making my way to him.
I am grateful most of all for the opportunity I had to volunteer this year and I'm thankful that my mom and Amber and Danae wanted to do it too!
Like I said I have tons of reasons to be thankful! But I just wanted to share those two things...I'm not trying to pat myself on the back...just trying to remember that feeling...which was awesome!
Thank You!
Did Adam Lambert Go Too Far?
Now, I only watch American Idol the first two weeks of the show...that's when all the bad singers are on! After that I'm done, I don't watch or worry about it in any way or form! I wouldn't know who Adam Lambert was if it hadn't of been for my cousin who loves him and watched American Idol hoping he would win it all! Well he didn't, she said it was rigged...it went to someone else, whatever!
Still I didn't care, couldn't give two cents to care...until my brother showed me his album cover (which is totally ripped off from Boy George) and I was mildly interested in what this guy was gonna come up with next! But not that much because I could have watched him on on the American Music Awards last weekend, but I chose to go to sleep instead!
The next morning I wake up to the knowledge that he pulled off some kind of inappropriate performance full of sex, violence and risque behavior not suitable for kids, Dick Clark Productions or the House of Mouse (owner of ABC). I couldn't believe what I was hearing and I couldn't watch it on the net, so I asked around...only one person could tell me what it was about and I agreed with her...inappropriate! The next day, I heard more about it in the media and I decided to look for in on the net...it's since been taken down. So I haven't seen it....but I did see something in a headline...why are we getting so up in arms about Adam Lambert in 2009 when we didn't care about Britney and Madonna and Christina a few years ago?
I surely didn't care then and I don't really care now, but I know that if I was a parent of a teen or preteen I would have been appalled that this form of entertainment (remember I haven't seen it, this is all from what I've heard) was available for my kid during a very superficial award show.
But I'm not a parent and I didn't see it....so all I have is hear say from all over...so like the title of this post I have one question...Did Adam Lambert go to far?
What's your opinion? How do you feel about the whole situation? Did he indeed go to far or am I and the media making too big a deal about it?
Still I didn't care, couldn't give two cents to care...until my brother showed me his album cover (which is totally ripped off from Boy George) and I was mildly interested in what this guy was gonna come up with next! But not that much because I could have watched him on on the American Music Awards last weekend, but I chose to go to sleep instead!
The next morning I wake up to the knowledge that he pulled off some kind of inappropriate performance full of sex, violence and risque behavior not suitable for kids, Dick Clark Productions or the House of Mouse (owner of ABC). I couldn't believe what I was hearing and I couldn't watch it on the net, so I asked around...only one person could tell me what it was about and I agreed with her...inappropriate! The next day, I heard more about it in the media and I decided to look for in on the net...it's since been taken down. So I haven't seen it....but I did see something in a headline...why are we getting so up in arms about Adam Lambert in 2009 when we didn't care about Britney and Madonna and Christina a few years ago?
I surely didn't care then and I don't really care now, but I know that if I was a parent of a teen or preteen I would have been appalled that this form of entertainment (remember I haven't seen it, this is all from what I've heard) was available for my kid during a very superficial award show.
But I'm not a parent and I didn't see it....so all I have is hear say from all over...so like the title of this post I have one question...Did Adam Lambert go to far?
What's your opinion? How do you feel about the whole situation? Did he indeed go to far or am I and the media making too big a deal about it?
New Moon Movie Review
So, as a fan of books, movies and some books turned into movies...I gladly shelled out money to watch this book turned movie. Now, I did the same last year...I shouldn't have, but like all things I had to learn the hard way. Anyone who says that the first installment of this saga (Twilight) needs to seek professional help!
The book was so compelling and well written that I could only hope the movie (Twilight) would be the same, but I was sorely disappointed with it. I'm so used to movie makers taking books like LotR and Harry Potters (and even 300 and Watchmen) and actually turning them into must watch movies, that I forgot the director couldn't direct! If it wasn't for the book Twilight would have been sunk in the water.
So, knowing my disappointment with the first I still stepped up to the second, hopeful that a new director and more money would make a better movie. And I was right....
It's no classic, but it is a good popcorn fest...it's full of moments from the book that I hoped I'd experience in the movie. I like the cinematography, the colors used and captured, I even liked the wolves. But I was most impressed with Michael Sheen as Aro!
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart! I can't seem to get passed the fact that in real life he looks like he may smell, he's completely opposition of Edward (and I know he's an actor and is playing a role) but all I see is stink rising off his body. I don't really care for him as Edward...the only time I feel like he was Edward like was in the first film, when he is first introduced, after that it's all been a let down. Kristen Stewart...I've seen her in a couple non-Twilight related movies in which I think she did a good job, but in this movie it was more looking torn...biting her lips and overall blankness.
Alice (played by Ashley Greene) is my favorite character and Ms. Greene does a great job as her...although there is a scene where she jumps a railing that was completely unnecessary.
The visual effects were better! You cold see the difference between the eye colors of the different Vampires, which was very very slight last movie. I enjoyed watching the wolves more than I thought I would. And on the Wolves...I really like the makeup that was done on Emily (Sam's fiance), it was always hard for me to image her look, but they nailed it!
Other than Robert and Kristen the only thing I didn't like was the score...it was way tooo cheesey...and I love cheese, but this was like Velveta on top of Velveta!
Michael Sheen as Aro....wow! Perfection! There's nothing else to say, but that man is a real actor...true! He can take a role and own it...I was so glad he was chosen for this role and he didn't disappoint one bit!
So overall I would recommend this movie...if only for those who heard something of the books...if you haven't you could wait until it's on DVD would you may lose something in the effects! Enjoy
The book was so compelling and well written that I could only hope the movie (Twilight) would be the same, but I was sorely disappointed with it. I'm so used to movie makers taking books like LotR and Harry Potters (and even 300 and Watchmen) and actually turning them into must watch movies, that I forgot the director couldn't direct! If it wasn't for the book Twilight would have been sunk in the water.
So, knowing my disappointment with the first I still stepped up to the second, hopeful that a new director and more money would make a better movie. And I was right....
It's no classic, but it is a good popcorn fest...it's full of moments from the book that I hoped I'd experience in the movie. I like the cinematography, the colors used and captured, I even liked the wolves. But I was most impressed with Michael Sheen as Aro!
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart! I can't seem to get passed the fact that in real life he looks like he may smell, he's completely opposition of Edward (and I know he's an actor and is playing a role) but all I see is stink rising off his body. I don't really care for him as Edward...the only time I feel like he was Edward like was in the first film, when he is first introduced, after that it's all been a let down. Kristen Stewart...I've seen her in a couple non-Twilight related movies in which I think she did a good job, but in this movie it was more looking torn...biting her lips and overall blankness.
Alice (played by Ashley Greene) is my favorite character and Ms. Greene does a great job as her...although there is a scene where she jumps a railing that was completely unnecessary.
The visual effects were better! You cold see the difference between the eye colors of the different Vampires, which was very very slight last movie. I enjoyed watching the wolves more than I thought I would. And on the Wolves...I really like the makeup that was done on Emily (Sam's fiance), it was always hard for me to image her look, but they nailed it!
Other than Robert and Kristen the only thing I didn't like was the score...it was way tooo cheesey...and I love cheese, but this was like Velveta on top of Velveta!
Michael Sheen as Aro....wow! Perfection! There's nothing else to say, but that man is a real actor...true! He can take a role and own it...I was so glad he was chosen for this role and he didn't disappoint one bit!
So overall I would recommend this movie...if only for those who heard something of the books...if you haven't you could wait until it's on DVD would you may lose something in the effects! Enjoy
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
So Many Things I Want to Say!!!
I've been thinking about several different topics I want to write about. Some very personal, some social and some just celebrity gossip nonsense. I decided to list them below...and I will post a topic in detail on each one, but I just don't have the time at this moment. Over the next week, I will complete the thought(s) I have on each topic.
1. Why aren't I married yet?
2. Did Adam Lambert go too far?
3. New Moon movie review.
4. Doesn't matter if your fat or skinny as long as your striving to be your best.
5. Holding on to what doesn't matter.
6. Thanksgiving!
7. Happiness is a choice!
Seven days, seven topics...I should get started. See ya later! And enjoy!
1. Why aren't I married yet?
2. Did Adam Lambert go too far?
3. New Moon movie review.
4. Doesn't matter if your fat or skinny as long as your striving to be your best.
5. Holding on to what doesn't matter.
6. Thanksgiving!
7. Happiness is a choice!
Seven days, seven topics...I should get started. See ya later! And enjoy!
Monday, November 09, 2009
Luke 22:31-32 (with creative license)
I have read this verse twice in the last two weeks...coincidence, I think not. Yesterday when I read it I thought of it differently. Thinking about my last year of turmoil, I decided to reread the verse, but with my name inserted...it made perfect sense and gave me a new understanding into why God allowed me to live through it all. So here's the verse below...with my name inserted!
"Melanie, Melanie, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Melanie, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."
If you don't recognize this verse it's Jesus telling Simon he is going to deny him 3 times. I haven't denied Jesus to anyone, but myself. I've denied him an outstanding place in my life and heart, because when I am going through hard times I lean on my own understanding...which usually results in even more hard times!
I can understand Satan asking to sift me and I can understand God allowing it, not because he wanted me to hurt, but because that's the only way I learn! The last part of that verse harkens back to something my Pastor Kevin told me about 8 years ago...."God will use your life to effect people, he's allowed certain things to happen in your life for His glory." I had forgot about that, but I get it. I'm always learning from others mistakes why wouldn't someone choose to learn from mine?
This was just something I wanted to share...something that provoked my thoughts, maybe it'll provoke yours too!
"Melanie, Melanie, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Melanie, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."
If you don't recognize this verse it's Jesus telling Simon he is going to deny him 3 times. I haven't denied Jesus to anyone, but myself. I've denied him an outstanding place in my life and heart, because when I am going through hard times I lean on my own understanding...which usually results in even more hard times!
I can understand Satan asking to sift me and I can understand God allowing it, not because he wanted me to hurt, but because that's the only way I learn! The last part of that verse harkens back to something my Pastor Kevin told me about 8 years ago...."God will use your life to effect people, he's allowed certain things to happen in your life for His glory." I had forgot about that, but I get it. I'm always learning from others mistakes why wouldn't someone choose to learn from mine?
This was just something I wanted to share...something that provoked my thoughts, maybe it'll provoke yours too!
Technology, It's an Addiction
There was a time in my life when I only had 7 channels to watch, 1 phone I could use, a cassette player and if I wanted to read the news I had to buy a paper. That was life circa 1997! Now, 12 years later I have an Ipod, cellphone (with Internet), satellite TV, email, 2 blogs, a digital camera and I read the gossip (not even real news) at any time I want and when I get home I run to the computer to check my facebook!
The world was supposed to get easier with the addition and enhancement of technology. It was supposed to make the world smaller and make us smarter! I guess, it has lived up to it's claims...now instead of having to get dressed and leave my house I can fully communicate with friends, shop for anything, and listen to the newest songs by my favorite artists all from the comfort of my living room in my pajamas! But with all the greatness it offers technology also greatly hinders us.
How many times have you been in a mall and/or market and witnessed a kid (teens included) walking with their parents but totally listening to an Ipod or on a cellphone (whether talking or texting)? It seems like this behavior has become the norm. I am as guilty as the rest. I don't deny my addiction to technology or my inability to keep myself from using it as a drug. Everyday I use my phone, my Ipod, a computer (several actually) and if I don't par take in at least one of these activities I feel like my day has been wasted with the pursuit of nothingness! It's ashame and very sad, especially because I can actually be in the midst of a fantastic life altering experience, and still I feel the guilt of a wasted day. Guilt because I didn't fulfill a superficial need that I recently developed because the world said I needed it! Wow, how sad!
Have you ever complained about having nothing to watch on your 500 channels of TV? Or are upset because there's no new gossip on a blog site and none of your friends have posted anything new on a social site? How about this...have you ever been jealous of a friend's phone? Yes, their phone! Because your phone isn't as new or pretty or sophisticated as theirs...my best friend has an Iphone and I was completely and totally envious of it. I have gotten over it since she got it, but there was a time when I just wanted it! Addiction rearing it's ugly head.
And that's it isn't it? Technology and jealousy go hand in hand, their blog is better, I want a site like hers, she's his facebook friend but not mine! Jealous, jealous jealous! He has an Ipod with video, oohhh I want that Flat Screen High Def 64 Inch wall mounted Television! Then the pursuit of technology turns from I want to I need! I need that new state of the art washer/dryer. I need a mac! I need the plasma, blu-ray with the attached coffeemaker and phone. No, You Don't!
We don't need any of these things. We want them definitely...have to have them certainly, but our lives DO NOT continue or end if we don't get the new X-Box. And I know this because at 30 years old I have never owned or played an X-Box and I'm perfectly content, but maybe that's the problem? If you don't want it, you don't need it! I But if you crave it (or in reference to addiction feen for it) you need it.
I don't need my small gadgets but I enjoy them and yes I crave them, but my life will continue without them. Will it cause me grief? In the beginning, but as I ween myself off the technology teet, I will return to the small wonder of a 17 year old who was content with 7 channels, 1 phone, books and newspapers and cassettes (which I actually do miss)
But I'm not ready for that just yet!
The world was supposed to get easier with the addition and enhancement of technology. It was supposed to make the world smaller and make us smarter! I guess, it has lived up to it's claims...now instead of having to get dressed and leave my house I can fully communicate with friends, shop for anything, and listen to the newest songs by my favorite artists all from the comfort of my living room in my pajamas! But with all the greatness it offers technology also greatly hinders us.
How many times have you been in a mall and/or market and witnessed a kid (teens included) walking with their parents but totally listening to an Ipod or on a cellphone (whether talking or texting)? It seems like this behavior has become the norm. I am as guilty as the rest. I don't deny my addiction to technology or my inability to keep myself from using it as a drug. Everyday I use my phone, my Ipod, a computer (several actually) and if I don't par take in at least one of these activities I feel like my day has been wasted with the pursuit of nothingness! It's ashame and very sad, especially because I can actually be in the midst of a fantastic life altering experience, and still I feel the guilt of a wasted day. Guilt because I didn't fulfill a superficial need that I recently developed because the world said I needed it! Wow, how sad!
Have you ever complained about having nothing to watch on your 500 channels of TV? Or are upset because there's no new gossip on a blog site and none of your friends have posted anything new on a social site? How about this...have you ever been jealous of a friend's phone? Yes, their phone! Because your phone isn't as new or pretty or sophisticated as theirs...my best friend has an Iphone and I was completely and totally envious of it. I have gotten over it since she got it, but there was a time when I just wanted it! Addiction rearing it's ugly head.
And that's it isn't it? Technology and jealousy go hand in hand, their blog is better, I want a site like hers, she's his facebook friend but not mine! Jealous, jealous jealous! He has an Ipod with video, oohhh I want that Flat Screen High Def 64 Inch wall mounted Television! Then the pursuit of technology turns from I want to I need! I need that new state of the art washer/dryer. I need a mac! I need the plasma, blu-ray with the attached coffeemaker and phone. No, You Don't!
We don't need any of these things. We want them definitely...have to have them certainly, but our lives DO NOT continue or end if we don't get the new X-Box. And I know this because at 30 years old I have never owned or played an X-Box and I'm perfectly content, but maybe that's the problem? If you don't want it, you don't need it! I But if you crave it (or in reference to addiction feen for it) you need it.
I don't need my small gadgets but I enjoy them and yes I crave them, but my life will continue without them. Will it cause me grief? In the beginning, but as I ween myself off the technology teet, I will return to the small wonder of a 17 year old who was content with 7 channels, 1 phone, books and newspapers and cassettes (which I actually do miss)
But I'm not ready for that just yet!
Friday, November 06, 2009
Thursday, November 05, 2009
New Website Alert...
I've lamented for a long time about how lots of people (me included) think all Christians are uptight with no sense of humor...luckily I happen to be surrounded by some very funny, laid back (and some are VERY VERY LIBERAL) Christians!
Well I found a new website by a Christian who actually speaks at conventions but is REALLY funny! Every time I read it I bust up Laughing Out Loud (or lol in text)! I enjoy the site so much that I have to give it a short out! It's
www.stuffchristianslike.net
What's even more funny is if you happen to type in .com instead of .net you get the website of a Chevy dealership! Didn't know Christians liked Chevy's that much! Anyway, check it out it's funny, it'll make you laugh! And if you've grown up in church, worked behind the scenes, are a P.K. or just show up on Sundays and hide in the back you'll find something on here that you'll relate to!
Also, I'd like to give a shout out to www.tebowseyeblack.com for posting something from stuff Christians like...that's how I found it!
Until Next Time...
Well I found a new website by a Christian who actually speaks at conventions but is REALLY funny! Every time I read it I bust up Laughing Out Loud (or lol in text)! I enjoy the site so much that I have to give it a short out! It's
www.stuffchristianslike.net
What's even more funny is if you happen to type in .com instead of .net you get the website of a Chevy dealership! Didn't know Christians liked Chevy's that much! Anyway, check it out it's funny, it'll make you laugh! And if you've grown up in church, worked behind the scenes, are a P.K. or just show up on Sundays and hide in the back you'll find something on here that you'll relate to!
Also, I'd like to give a shout out to www.tebowseyeblack.com for posting something from stuff Christians like...that's how I found it!
Until Next Time...
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Forgiveness by any other name...
So, in my recent discovery of lies and untruths that have been told to me and about me I have felt the strong presence of God telling me to forgive those who've offended me! It's not just a simple task I've been handed, it's more like a command. I've felt it for the last week or so and even though the feeling has faded slightly, He has found other ways to get my attention focus on the forgiveness boat.
But in order to bring up to how he's done that, I have to go back to the beginning of this simple little blog and the drama that came with it...
I started this blog with a simple satisfying Thank You! I was thanking the Alderson Family for welcoming me (a near stranger) into their family party and allowing me to be apart of it, so that I could see my friend Kristi (their daughter-in-law). I actually hadn't seen her or any of them in a year, they barely knew me, but the fact that I was welcomed by them all (even Grandma, who's like the coolest chick ever!) was a wonderful experience. I drove home that night and wrote out my Thanks as my first blog entry, then I emailed it out to everyone in hopes that I could really let people into my world through my writing and maybe even start a dialogue! I was so excited that the first thing I did when I woke up the next day was check my blog to see if anyone had visited..low and behold someone did...but it wasn't someone I expected!
Kristi moved up to Ventura (the City) about two and a half years before this, she was dating someone who she felt was worth the move and well, she married him, so he was worth it! And about 6 months before this party (which took place in October) my other friend Debbie moved up to Ventura to be with the person she was engaged to...(here's where it gets interesting)
Debbie, who I've know since I was in 7th grade, was someone I thought I has become close to. Well she moved to Ventura be live with the man to whom she was engaged. A man I knew almost nothing about and had never met. I hadn't seen my friend in those 6 months...and in fact had barely even spoken to her (and this after years of constant daily contact). So, one day after emailing (I think, this was before myspace/facebook) Kristi about seeing her...I just picked a day to come up and hang out, nothing formal just a visit! She told me about the party but welcomed me up anyway, saying that I was welcome and that the Aldersons would love to see me! So, I emailed Debbie, whom I had also recently had the "come visit" conversation with to tell her that I would be up that day (like a month in advance) and that I'd love to get coffee or just stop by and visit before heading over to Kristi's....Debbie's reaction was different.
After hearing about this man and his kids for about 9 months and being told I have to come up and meet them, the response I got was puzzling and hurtful. Debbie's step-daughter had a soccer game that morning, Debbie said that not only could she not see in the morning, but at all that day. After being invited to a family party by Kristi I found it odd that Debbie wouldn't want me to come meet her and her new family at a public park. Maybe I was overreacting...at least that's what I thought! So I spoke to my Mexican Momma Maria and my Real Momma Shirley (and my Dad) about it and they all had the same reaction...that's weird, my would she blow you off?
I let it go, and went up to Ventura early, hung out with Kristi in the morning and ultimately helped her more than I could ever had imagined (her Grandfather was terminally ill and in the hospital, I ended up taking her to the airport so she could fly home to see him).
Along the way I started talking to several different Alderson's about their blogs and decided on my way home to start my own and to Thank them for their hospitality in my very first post. So, I wake up the next morning and find a comment from Debbie (you can check the post out if you'd like, but the comment is gone). She basically said, "oh, you were down the street from my house and you didn't even come by!" (that's a paraphrase, but that's pretty much it). My first reaction was anger...she was basically ruining a thank you that I was trying to give by adding her own sort of "wit", however dim it was. She didn't explain how I tried to come see her, how I had never been to her house let alone met anyone in her "new" family, or how I would have never know, in a thousand years that her house was down the street from the park we were at. She just decided to put me on blast and think it was funny.
I deleted the comment and sent her an email stating how disappointed I was with her post, how I felt that it wasn't funny or called for and how she so selfishly took this nice thing I was trying to do and turn it into something about her. I let her know that the Alderson's don't know her and would read the comment as me shunning a friend when in all actuality I was the one shunned. Then because I know Debbie so well and knew that before the day was over all of our mutual friends would hear about what a bitch I was and how I made her cry, I sent the comment and accompanying email to Maria. I wanted one person to know the entire truth, without Debbie's slant. Since then (it's been 3 years) I haven't spoken to Debbie, I said all I needed to and I moved on. She has, emailed me through yahoo, myspace and just a couple of days ago facebook. That was my mistake, I commented on something Maria wrote and knew that Debbie would see it and try to find me (if Debbie has already posted a response to something on Maria's page I just avoid it), but I really wanted to comment. Not five minutes later, I got an email from her, saying that she wants to get to know me again...and in truth, I don't really care! The only time I think about her is when Maria mentions her, other than that it's like she doesn't exist in my world...at first I was sad, but I've realized that this journey was for the best and I believe I learned something...
So back to forgiveness...
I feel like God is asking me to finally forgive. I've moved on with my life and she with hers...we will never have a friendship...it's not going to be repaired but I can express that I do forgive her. Even though she really doesn't understand how hurt I was and never gave me the one thing I truly wanted from my friend, an apology, she never thought she did anything wrong. But that's fine, we are called to forgive others for our own well being...I've moved on but obviously God wants me to take the step and actually forgive her. That I will do, I can try to express my previous hurt and sadness and how I feel now. I have a good life, with good friends...people who want to be around me and who actually care if I tell them I'm hurting.
Forgiveness by any other name wouldn't be forgiveness
But in order to bring up to how he's done that, I have to go back to the beginning of this simple little blog and the drama that came with it...
I started this blog with a simple satisfying Thank You! I was thanking the Alderson Family for welcoming me (a near stranger) into their family party and allowing me to be apart of it, so that I could see my friend Kristi (their daughter-in-law). I actually hadn't seen her or any of them in a year, they barely knew me, but the fact that I was welcomed by them all (even Grandma, who's like the coolest chick ever!) was a wonderful experience. I drove home that night and wrote out my Thanks as my first blog entry, then I emailed it out to everyone in hopes that I could really let people into my world through my writing and maybe even start a dialogue! I was so excited that the first thing I did when I woke up the next day was check my blog to see if anyone had visited..low and behold someone did...but it wasn't someone I expected!
Kristi moved up to Ventura (the City) about two and a half years before this, she was dating someone who she felt was worth the move and well, she married him, so he was worth it! And about 6 months before this party (which took place in October) my other friend Debbie moved up to Ventura to be with the person she was engaged to...(here's where it gets interesting)
Debbie, who I've know since I was in 7th grade, was someone I thought I has become close to. Well she moved to Ventura be live with the man to whom she was engaged. A man I knew almost nothing about and had never met. I hadn't seen my friend in those 6 months...and in fact had barely even spoken to her (and this after years of constant daily contact). So, one day after emailing (I think, this was before myspace/facebook) Kristi about seeing her...I just picked a day to come up and hang out, nothing formal just a visit! She told me about the party but welcomed me up anyway, saying that I was welcome and that the Aldersons would love to see me! So, I emailed Debbie, whom I had also recently had the "come visit" conversation with to tell her that I would be up that day (like a month in advance) and that I'd love to get coffee or just stop by and visit before heading over to Kristi's....Debbie's reaction was different.
After hearing about this man and his kids for about 9 months and being told I have to come up and meet them, the response I got was puzzling and hurtful. Debbie's step-daughter had a soccer game that morning, Debbie said that not only could she not see in the morning, but at all that day. After being invited to a family party by Kristi I found it odd that Debbie wouldn't want me to come meet her and her new family at a public park. Maybe I was overreacting...at least that's what I thought! So I spoke to my Mexican Momma Maria and my Real Momma Shirley (and my Dad) about it and they all had the same reaction...that's weird, my would she blow you off?
I let it go, and went up to Ventura early, hung out with Kristi in the morning and ultimately helped her more than I could ever had imagined (her Grandfather was terminally ill and in the hospital, I ended up taking her to the airport so she could fly home to see him).
Along the way I started talking to several different Alderson's about their blogs and decided on my way home to start my own and to Thank them for their hospitality in my very first post. So, I wake up the next morning and find a comment from Debbie (you can check the post out if you'd like, but the comment is gone). She basically said, "oh, you were down the street from my house and you didn't even come by!" (that's a paraphrase, but that's pretty much it). My first reaction was anger...she was basically ruining a thank you that I was trying to give by adding her own sort of "wit", however dim it was. She didn't explain how I tried to come see her, how I had never been to her house let alone met anyone in her "new" family, or how I would have never know, in a thousand years that her house was down the street from the park we were at. She just decided to put me on blast and think it was funny.
I deleted the comment and sent her an email stating how disappointed I was with her post, how I felt that it wasn't funny or called for and how she so selfishly took this nice thing I was trying to do and turn it into something about her. I let her know that the Alderson's don't know her and would read the comment as me shunning a friend when in all actuality I was the one shunned. Then because I know Debbie so well and knew that before the day was over all of our mutual friends would hear about what a bitch I was and how I made her cry, I sent the comment and accompanying email to Maria. I wanted one person to know the entire truth, without Debbie's slant. Since then (it's been 3 years) I haven't spoken to Debbie, I said all I needed to and I moved on. She has, emailed me through yahoo, myspace and just a couple of days ago facebook. That was my mistake, I commented on something Maria wrote and knew that Debbie would see it and try to find me (if Debbie has already posted a response to something on Maria's page I just avoid it), but I really wanted to comment. Not five minutes later, I got an email from her, saying that she wants to get to know me again...and in truth, I don't really care! The only time I think about her is when Maria mentions her, other than that it's like she doesn't exist in my world...at first I was sad, but I've realized that this journey was for the best and I believe I learned something...
So back to forgiveness...
I feel like God is asking me to finally forgive. I've moved on with my life and she with hers...we will never have a friendship...it's not going to be repaired but I can express that I do forgive her. Even though she really doesn't understand how hurt I was and never gave me the one thing I truly wanted from my friend, an apology, she never thought she did anything wrong. But that's fine, we are called to forgive others for our own well being...I've moved on but obviously God wants me to take the step and actually forgive her. That I will do, I can try to express my previous hurt and sadness and how I feel now. I have a good life, with good friends...people who want to be around me and who actually care if I tell them I'm hurting.
Forgiveness by any other name wouldn't be forgiveness
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Inspired
I work with two people who have really inspired me recently. Kelli and Tony!
Kelli wants to change the world! She wants to get her hands dirty and make the world a better place for everyone...give people everywhere the same opportunities that she's had throughout her life. I think that if you gave her a shovel and said if you dig a hole the world would be a better place, she wouldn't only dig the hole...she'd build a wall around it so that it could never be filled again!
Tony, he's a dad and a husband, not only concerned about being a good example for his kids, but also for his children's friends. He's pushing them all to do better for themselves...trying to use his wisdom and knowledge to help and inspire them to make something of themselves, to make their world brighter!
I had to say something about them because well, I am encouraged by them, they have both inspired me to reach out and grab that thing I really want... want to be, want to have!
I've been very fortunate to have always had people around me that have given me good advice, good standards to look up to and good a moral compass. I am fortunate enough to have people who care enough for me to make me apart of their homes and lives. Many of these people I have taken for granted, and for that I'm truly sorry. I take the lessons I've learned from them and tried to use them not only to inspire myself but others...trying to pass the torch! These people, didn't let me get away with anything, but it was all done in love.
I'm curious to know if I've ever inspired anyone...it's always been my goal to add something to a child's life whether in work or play...I believe I may have, but I'm fine not knowing...my reward is waiting for me and that's good enough...
Until Next Time....
Kelli wants to change the world! She wants to get her hands dirty and make the world a better place for everyone...give people everywhere the same opportunities that she's had throughout her life. I think that if you gave her a shovel and said if you dig a hole the world would be a better place, she wouldn't only dig the hole...she'd build a wall around it so that it could never be filled again!
Tony, he's a dad and a husband, not only concerned about being a good example for his kids, but also for his children's friends. He's pushing them all to do better for themselves...trying to use his wisdom and knowledge to help and inspire them to make something of themselves, to make their world brighter!
I had to say something about them because well, I am encouraged by them, they have both inspired me to reach out and grab that thing I really want... want to be, want to have!
I've been very fortunate to have always had people around me that have given me good advice, good standards to look up to and good a moral compass. I am fortunate enough to have people who care enough for me to make me apart of their homes and lives. Many of these people I have taken for granted, and for that I'm truly sorry. I take the lessons I've learned from them and tried to use them not only to inspire myself but others...trying to pass the torch! These people, didn't let me get away with anything, but it was all done in love.
I'm curious to know if I've ever inspired anyone...it's always been my goal to add something to a child's life whether in work or play...I believe I may have, but I'm fine not knowing...my reward is waiting for me and that's good enough...
Until Next Time....
Today is a Good Day
My world has become brighter, happier and more lively just because I took some action and decided to be honest!
As I mentioned my former boss is no longer here, and because of that things have changed. Well, one of my co-workers has also left (gone off to a better environment) and with his departure I have found that I am at ease now. Light and airy like a truly tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Today I learned that something else was told about me that wasn't true. I know it wasn't true in my heart and over the last few weeks, this is just one more thing I have learned. Overall, I think that my name has been spoken so many times in non-truths that people really think I'm this evil person.
Upon hearing this new one, I decided to go to the two people I knew I needed to speak to, my area manager and the office administrator. I needed to sit down with them and speak, tell them the truth about myself, how I feel and just open the lines of communication...it couldn't hurt right?
Well, it's been maybe 30 minutes to an hour since I spoke to both (separately). I laid it out on the table and truth be told...I'm surprised and sadden at what I've learned.
Things that I was told over this past year were lies...lies built to hold me down, keep me scared and to keep me from moving on to bigger better things at work (which in turn effected my out look on life in general). I revealed things that I now know where BOLD FACED LIES! I told how I wasn't happy and came to work with knots in my stomach and how I never felt like I could speak to anyone because frankly, I didn't know who to believe. I kept most things close to the vest and thought if I did my job, kept my head down and didn't make any noise that I would be fine. I was wrong, and I was lied to.
I feel truly excited and happy! I'm on cloud nine, I'm sure that this feeling will fade but I'm going to hold onto it as long as I can. I'm going to remember it as long as I can and I will take with me the lessons I learned from this situation. I'm not going to go into a situation not trusting people, it's not my way, but I will, from now on, go to the source...I will stand up for myself...stop ducking my head, stop sitting by quietly and not speaking up. I plan on calling BS on the people around me who I feel are taking advantage of their positions.
This year has had it's ups and downs, I've cried...I've hid...I've believed that it was all of my own making...but today is a new day and I'm so excited about my future. I have someone behind me, who thinks I can do more than clean up after people. And I have people around me who I feel are willing to help me develop, learn and grow so that I can be better...not just in work but also in life!
I thank God for this year of learning and strife. I thank God for bringing me through and carrying me when I couldn't walk, I'm on this journey because He's put me here and I'll be here until he leads me somewhere else. I have a feeling there are still some lessons I need to learn, but I'm going to start fresh and new today!
As I mentioned my former boss is no longer here, and because of that things have changed. Well, one of my co-workers has also left (gone off to a better environment) and with his departure I have found that I am at ease now. Light and airy like a truly tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Today I learned that something else was told about me that wasn't true. I know it wasn't true in my heart and over the last few weeks, this is just one more thing I have learned. Overall, I think that my name has been spoken so many times in non-truths that people really think I'm this evil person.
Upon hearing this new one, I decided to go to the two people I knew I needed to speak to, my area manager and the office administrator. I needed to sit down with them and speak, tell them the truth about myself, how I feel and just open the lines of communication...it couldn't hurt right?
Well, it's been maybe 30 minutes to an hour since I spoke to both (separately). I laid it out on the table and truth be told...I'm surprised and sadden at what I've learned.
Things that I was told over this past year were lies...lies built to hold me down, keep me scared and to keep me from moving on to bigger better things at work (which in turn effected my out look on life in general). I revealed things that I now know where BOLD FACED LIES! I told how I wasn't happy and came to work with knots in my stomach and how I never felt like I could speak to anyone because frankly, I didn't know who to believe. I kept most things close to the vest and thought if I did my job, kept my head down and didn't make any noise that I would be fine. I was wrong, and I was lied to.
I feel truly excited and happy! I'm on cloud nine, I'm sure that this feeling will fade but I'm going to hold onto it as long as I can. I'm going to remember it as long as I can and I will take with me the lessons I learned from this situation. I'm not going to go into a situation not trusting people, it's not my way, but I will, from now on, go to the source...I will stand up for myself...stop ducking my head, stop sitting by quietly and not speaking up. I plan on calling BS on the people around me who I feel are taking advantage of their positions.
This year has had it's ups and downs, I've cried...I've hid...I've believed that it was all of my own making...but today is a new day and I'm so excited about my future. I have someone behind me, who thinks I can do more than clean up after people. And I have people around me who I feel are willing to help me develop, learn and grow so that I can be better...not just in work but also in life!
I thank God for this year of learning and strife. I thank God for bringing me through and carrying me when I couldn't walk, I'm on this journey because He's put me here and I'll be here until he leads me somewhere else. I have a feeling there are still some lessons I need to learn, but I'm going to start fresh and new today!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see, there will be an answer. let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me, shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see, there will be an answer. let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me, shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
Praise
Thank you Lord, for having all things in your hands and for knowing what I need and want before I ever see the situation coming.
Thank you for having my cries and restoring me when I am beat down and tried.
Thank you for your patience, sense of humor and loyalty
Thank you for surrounding me with love everyday, even if it's the simple type of love that has absolutely nothing to do with me.
Thank you for exposing me to others and their spirituality, kindness, wisdom and joy!
Thank you for my family, friends and life!
Thanks you for all my daily blessings and for pulling me out of the darkness!
I praise you, for all these things, for all my blessings and faults, for all that I am and have and for always being faithful to me!
I love you!
Thank you for having my cries and restoring me when I am beat down and tried.
Thank you for your patience, sense of humor and loyalty
Thank you for surrounding me with love everyday, even if it's the simple type of love that has absolutely nothing to do with me.
Thank you for exposing me to others and their spirituality, kindness, wisdom and joy!
Thank you for my family, friends and life!
Thanks you for all my daily blessings and for pulling me out of the darkness!
I praise you, for all these things, for all my blessings and faults, for all that I am and have and for always being faithful to me!
I love you!
The Obamas and The Huckstables!
There was a time in the United States when the only glimpse of a beautiful Black Family we saw on Television was the Huckstables (pictured below)! I, as a young black girl looked up to Claire, Cliff and all the kids! I saw love, family, success in life, spirituality and my skin on a screen that couldn't show me any of that in a package anywhere else.Yesterday, I stumbled across this, the official family portrait, of our First Family (pictured above)! The first thought to pop in my head was what a beautiful black family, but now I say what a beautiful family! Does it matter that they are my skin tone...yes and no. Yes because finally young black girls and boys have someone other than the Huckstables to look up to and no because in our world of divorce, fighting and torn families, a family together in love and devotion to one another is to be praised no matter what they look like!
I am inspired by these people and proud that they are our first family!
So much to say so little time!
So my life has been slowly moving along since the last time I posted...it's been over a month and I've basically been taking it easy! There have been some changes, and I'll talk about those, but for the most part I've been gone because I'm been...chillin!
In September I decided to devote my Saturdays to college football, one team in particular, the Florida Gators! So my Saturday's have been put on hold for the next few months...basically I'm not doing anything with my weekend except for lying around in bed waiting for either the game to start or the nachos to finish (not really, the nachos thing was only last week). Since I'm not sleeping in on Saturdays I'm doing it on Sundays and before I know it it's Monday again! It's not a bad plan, just not the wisest one either, but hey I'm having fun!
I am in the middle of my first stint of Jury Duty, I have been placed on a Jury Panel and will go back on Wednesday to find out if my future lay in the courtroom or at work (basically I'll find out if I've been placed on the Jury!). I will tell you more about that this coming week, but I will say that I'm enjoying my experience and find it all very interesting!
Well, things at work have changed! I have a new boss, her name is Grace! My former boss moved out of state to pursue a new venture in her career. Grace has been here for 3 weeks and the changes I've seen and felt are so grand that I don't know if I can properly describe them! The truth is, she's great and I'm so comfortable and happy that the smile I paint on my face is actually a truthful reaction to how I'm really feeling. I'm not just putting a smile on my face and crying on the inside. That's how I used to feel! Everyday was a walk through hellfire and brimstone! I would come to work and literally as I got closer to the floors I work on, my stomach would begin to ache, I could feel my stress level rise and I just didn't know what to do about it.
I think God has been with me this whole time, I mean he bought me to this place and he never left me, even when I felt completely alone! Now, there are no stomach aches, I feel better about my co-workers (most) and about being open to give my suggestions, comments or complaints! I don't feel like I have to stifle myself to fit in, I can be me. I've been encouraged to be me, that's the most refreshing part about it!
Things have changed and I am now wholeheartedly enjoying my job! Now all I need is a raise!
Ok, so I wrote about trying to get through "A Purpose Driven Life" this summer, well not surprisingly, I didn't get very far. I do have to say that this summer was not a good one for me. I was pulling away from everyone, I wasn't being a good friend and I just didn't really see the point (well, I did, but I wasn't ready!). I'm not saying that I'm ready now, but I do see God and I have this nagging ache to help the world around me. I want to make an impact on others...not only because God told me to, but because if I don't who will? I owe it to the people I love and the world around me to reach out and try my best to make this world we call home a better place! Will you help me?
And finally, the two most trivial...I've become slightly obsessed with Facebook and I can no longer be called the celebrity gossip go to person by my friends! I can't even get halfway thru the OK Magazine crossword puzzle anymore....I'm disappointed, but now I can focus on more important stuff!
Until Next Time!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Headlines and Heartbreaks!!!!
9/11
Today is the Anniversary of 9/11. I am sure we all remember where we were when we first heard that a plane hit the twin towers....when we watched them fall...when we heard the stories of the brave men and women that didn't escape...and when the firemen raised the flag above the site.
I'm sure you remember the first time you heard of Al'Queda and Osama Bin Laden....who the Hijackers were...and that because of a strong few the last plane did not reach it's target! I'm sure you remember what that day was like, whether you were directly involved or just a witness...you remember.
I think we can live everyday with the memory of those events in our minds and hearts, and we see reminders of it on our television sets every evening. This day is special, but not because of the devastation, because of the hope. In all this... within families, communities and as a nation we came together to honor those who we lost and to show the world that the Sleeping Giant had been roused from sleep once again. It's been a hard eight years, but we have continued to stand strong as a country and most importantly we have continued to hope.
God Bless America, the families that lost and a country that remembers!
Caster Semenya
My heart goes out to this young woman, she comes out of no where to win and because she doesn't "look" like what the world says a girl should look like her identity is called into question. She was subjected to gender testing...and not quietly either! She was set out there in front of the whole world and told "we think you're a man". I know if that was me, I'd be completely and utterly devastated...but she seemed to handle the situation with grace...submitting to the tests and giving interviews telling the world that she is a woman.
Yesterday news broke that she is a woman...although not completely. It seems that Caster, has both male and female parts (the male parts being inside her body...so she never knew anything about them). She has been put out in the world as a hermaphrodite, something that most people would not want anyone to know. Now, that this news is out there the committee in charge of her sport has to decide if she can continue to participate in it.
I feel for her, and I hope that these people do right by her...after completely turning her life upside down I hope they do not take from her the thing that she loves to do!
President Obama and that Senator
I didn't watch President Obama's speech (I will...it's the power of YouTube) but I did hear about the Senator who blurted out Liar! in the middle of it....my first reaction (I'm assuming like most black people) was "OH, NO HE DIDN'T!" "He only did that because he's black" "How Rude!"...and still thinking about it today I still think those things...but also I'm starting to think about it in a different way.
I'm not a movie talker, I go to the movies to escape and I DO NOT appreciate people interrupting my happy time. But sometimes...I'm so into the movie that I can't help but blurt something out....its happened 3 times...all three times my strong opinion just came bursting out of my mouth it was uncontrollable and unstoppable. I think this may have been what happened to that senator!
Now, I'm not justifying what this man did. I think it was rude and unnecessary. No one ever yelled out liar to W. when we ALL knew he was lying, why... because we have respect for the office even if we don't have respect for the man. Saying that, I do think that he was suffering from a moment of overwhelming emotional conflict and couldn't keep it to himself. Though he is wrong (and clearly didn't read the bill) he believes that the President was lying about something. And he just couldn't keep it to himself. I don't know if he doesn't respect the man in office (that's not the point), but he clearly doesn't respect the office....or maybe it's as simple as calling a White Republican Senator from South Carolina what we all have thought but none have actually said....maybe the man is racist and he's views and anything the President ever attempts to do will be (in this man's mind) unreasonable and irresponsible.
I really don't know he's deal, but I do know that respect is respect and this man is lacking it greatly...but that just shows you what the people of South Carolina are really about...he is, after all, THEIR elected representative!
Today is the Anniversary of 9/11. I am sure we all remember where we were when we first heard that a plane hit the twin towers....when we watched them fall...when we heard the stories of the brave men and women that didn't escape...and when the firemen raised the flag above the site.
I'm sure you remember the first time you heard of Al'Queda and Osama Bin Laden....who the Hijackers were...and that because of a strong few the last plane did not reach it's target! I'm sure you remember what that day was like, whether you were directly involved or just a witness...you remember.
I think we can live everyday with the memory of those events in our minds and hearts, and we see reminders of it on our television sets every evening. This day is special, but not because of the devastation, because of the hope. In all this... within families, communities and as a nation we came together to honor those who we lost and to show the world that the Sleeping Giant had been roused from sleep once again. It's been a hard eight years, but we have continued to stand strong as a country and most importantly we have continued to hope.
God Bless America, the families that lost and a country that remembers!
Caster Semenya
My heart goes out to this young woman, she comes out of no where to win and because she doesn't "look" like what the world says a girl should look like her identity is called into question. She was subjected to gender testing...and not quietly either! She was set out there in front of the whole world and told "we think you're a man". I know if that was me, I'd be completely and utterly devastated...but she seemed to handle the situation with grace...submitting to the tests and giving interviews telling the world that she is a woman.
Yesterday news broke that she is a woman...although not completely. It seems that Caster, has both male and female parts (the male parts being inside her body...so she never knew anything about them). She has been put out in the world as a hermaphrodite, something that most people would not want anyone to know. Now, that this news is out there the committee in charge of her sport has to decide if she can continue to participate in it.
I feel for her, and I hope that these people do right by her...after completely turning her life upside down I hope they do not take from her the thing that she loves to do!
President Obama and that Senator
I didn't watch President Obama's speech (I will...it's the power of YouTube) but I did hear about the Senator who blurted out Liar! in the middle of it....my first reaction (I'm assuming like most black people) was "OH, NO HE DIDN'T!" "He only did that because he's black" "How Rude!"...and still thinking about it today I still think those things...but also I'm starting to think about it in a different way.
I'm not a movie talker, I go to the movies to escape and I DO NOT appreciate people interrupting my happy time. But sometimes...I'm so into the movie that I can't help but blurt something out....its happened 3 times...all three times my strong opinion just came bursting out of my mouth it was uncontrollable and unstoppable. I think this may have been what happened to that senator!
Now, I'm not justifying what this man did. I think it was rude and unnecessary. No one ever yelled out liar to W. when we ALL knew he was lying, why... because we have respect for the office even if we don't have respect for the man. Saying that, I do think that he was suffering from a moment of overwhelming emotional conflict and couldn't keep it to himself. Though he is wrong (and clearly didn't read the bill) he believes that the President was lying about something. And he just couldn't keep it to himself. I don't know if he doesn't respect the man in office (that's not the point), but he clearly doesn't respect the office....or maybe it's as simple as calling a White Republican Senator from South Carolina what we all have thought but none have actually said....maybe the man is racist and he's views and anything the President ever attempts to do will be (in this man's mind) unreasonable and irresponsible.
I really don't know he's deal, but I do know that respect is respect and this man is lacking it greatly...but that just shows you what the people of South Carolina are really about...he is, after all, THEIR elected representative!
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
CAPTAIN E.O.
So they day Michael Jackson died one of the first things I said was....they better bring back Captain E.O. at Disneyland! I mean, what better way to show the man a tribute...I truly believe that he should be celebrated for his contributions to music, dance and frankly most of our childhoods....whatever happened in his life is between him and God, but we have the opportunity to so our gratitude and respect for his greatness (which was given to him by God).
I was reading on Perez Hilton that Disney is set to announce that Captain E.O. will be brought back to Disneyland in January as a tribute to Mr. Jackson. Of Course, this came on the heels of an outcry from both MJ AND Disney fans asking that it be brought back.
Now as someone who worked a Disney, I know that they won't bring it back without making sure they are restore it (or even make it better) to it's original form. I'm sure they may even enlist the help of the original director Francis Ford Coppola!
I'm very excited and happy to hear this news...I'm glad that Disney has seen fit to bring back this great show (which was an event back in the late 80's) back for a new generation to see it! It may look dated and some may not go see the showings, because of what they "think" of him, but I WILL! I only got to see it once as a kid, but I remember being enthralled by it. It doesn't matter how long I will have to wait in line...I will seen Captain E.O. again in all it's glory and thank God for giving us the brilliance that was Michael Jackson!
I was reading on Perez Hilton that Disney is set to announce that Captain E.O. will be brought back to Disneyland in January as a tribute to Mr. Jackson. Of Course, this came on the heels of an outcry from both MJ AND Disney fans asking that it be brought back.
Now as someone who worked a Disney, I know that they won't bring it back without making sure they are restore it (or even make it better) to it's original form. I'm sure they may even enlist the help of the original director Francis Ford Coppola!
I'm very excited and happy to hear this news...I'm glad that Disney has seen fit to bring back this great show (which was an event back in the late 80's) back for a new generation to see it! It may look dated and some may not go see the showings, because of what they "think" of him, but I WILL! I only got to see it once as a kid, but I remember being enthralled by it. It doesn't matter how long I will have to wait in line...I will seen Captain E.O. again in all it's glory and thank God for giving us the brilliance that was Michael Jackson!
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
What would you do...
if this was your last day on earth
would you conquer your fears and try someone new
tell that person you love them...
move the mountains and stir the seas...
or would you sit, in quit and wonder what will happen to the world around you
would you cry tears of joy...sorrow
if this was the day you knew was your last
would ask God to forgive your sins
would you go out and do all the things you were afraid of
or would you crawl into bed and hid your day away
if this day was your day, what would you make of it?
joy, pain, sorrow, fear, confusion....
would see call all your loved ones and tell them your truths
would you forgive those that have wronged you
could you?
if this was your final day
would you conquer your fears and try someone new
tell that person you love them...
move the mountains and stir the seas...
or would you sit, in quit and wonder what will happen to the world around you
would you cry tears of joy...sorrow
if this was the day you knew was your last
would ask God to forgive your sins
would you go out and do all the things you were afraid of
or would you crawl into bed and hid your day away
if this day was your day, what would you make of it?
joy, pain, sorrow, fear, confusion....
would see call all your loved ones and tell them your truths
would you forgive those that have wronged you
could you?
if this was your final day
Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Headlines...what the?
I just read a headline that said "One in Four Californians could be affected by the swine flu" what the?
Dude are you serious?
And apparently they aren't very close to having a suitable vaccine...and when they do, it'll be a series of shots!
Dude are you serious?
So there's a new fire in LA and it's not under control...not only that, but they don't expect to have it under control until the 15th of September!
Dude are you serious?
I mean, between the heat and the bad air quality I don't want to leave my house, but I can't close the windows...because it's too damn hot!
This is getting ridiculous
And finally (not an actual headline, but I'm frustrated about it) I've looked everywhere to try and find out if there's any possible way I can watch UF's game against Charleston-Southern this Saturday and unfortunately there's not! Looks like I'll have to wait Two Weeks to see TEBOW....I mean the Gators play!
Dude are you serious?
Dude are you serious?
And apparently they aren't very close to having a suitable vaccine...and when they do, it'll be a series of shots!
Dude are you serious?
So there's a new fire in LA and it's not under control...not only that, but they don't expect to have it under control until the 15th of September!
Dude are you serious?
I mean, between the heat and the bad air quality I don't want to leave my house, but I can't close the windows...because it's too damn hot!
This is getting ridiculous
And finally (not an actual headline, but I'm frustrated about it) I've looked everywhere to try and find out if there's any possible way I can watch UF's game against Charleston-Southern this Saturday and unfortunately there's not! Looks like I'll have to wait Two Weeks to see TEBOW....I mean the Gators play!
Dude are you serious?
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Fires and Heat
When most people think of Southern California they think....beaches, beautiful people and weather, celebrities and sun!!!
Most people don't think about the extreme heat, earthquakes or fires! The east coast has hurricanes....the middle of the country has Tornadoes and the west has earthquakes. Now the first two are seasons....but the last isn't, which in my opinion makes us kinda lucky cause it just hits we don't have to watch it coming! But we do have a threatening season....it's called FIRE SEASON and we are in the middle of it right now!
When it's extremely hot and dry with little to no wind, we Southern Californians find ourselves surrounded by forest fires, brush fires....raging, out of control, unstoppable fires...and every year it seems to get bigger, scary and hotter!
In the last two weeks, we've had (I could be wrong) 3 major fires! And these fires have added to the dry heat we are feeling in the basin! The wind has left us (which is good for the fires) so we are trying our hardest not to kill over. I am not fortunate enough to live in a house with A/C so we are barely moving around the house...drinking tons of water and generally trying to stay our of each others way!
I can't get up in the morning without choking on smoke and the air is literally yellow all day long...and it's not from the sun!
And since Los Angeles sits in the middle of a desert, in which we supply water from outside sources, and we have had little to no rain in order to replenish those sources we are in a drought...so our ground are dryer then usual.
I think I'm going to move to someplace cool with no fires. Antarctica anyone?
Most people don't think about the extreme heat, earthquakes or fires! The east coast has hurricanes....the middle of the country has Tornadoes and the west has earthquakes. Now the first two are seasons....but the last isn't, which in my opinion makes us kinda lucky cause it just hits we don't have to watch it coming! But we do have a threatening season....it's called FIRE SEASON and we are in the middle of it right now!
When it's extremely hot and dry with little to no wind, we Southern Californians find ourselves surrounded by forest fires, brush fires....raging, out of control, unstoppable fires...and every year it seems to get bigger, scary and hotter!
In the last two weeks, we've had (I could be wrong) 3 major fires! And these fires have added to the dry heat we are feeling in the basin! The wind has left us (which is good for the fires) so we are trying our hardest not to kill over. I am not fortunate enough to live in a house with A/C so we are barely moving around the house...drinking tons of water and generally trying to stay our of each others way!
I can't get up in the morning without choking on smoke and the air is literally yellow all day long...and it's not from the sun!
And since Los Angeles sits in the middle of a desert, in which we supply water from outside sources, and we have had little to no rain in order to replenish those sources we are in a drought...so our ground are dryer then usual.
I think I'm going to move to someplace cool with no fires. Antarctica anyone?
Three Little Birds by Bob Marley
Dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right!
Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin, (this is my message to you-ou-ou:)
Singin: dont worry bout a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry (dont worry) bout a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right!
Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin, this is my message to you-ou-ou:
Singin: dont worry about a thing, worry about a thing, oh!
Every little thing gonna be all right. dont worry!
Singin: dont worry about a thing - I wont worry!
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right - I wont worry!
Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry about a thing, oh no!
cause every little thing gonna be all right!
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right!
Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin, (this is my message to you-ou-ou:)
Singin: dont worry bout a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry (dont worry) bout a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right!
Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin, this is my message to you-ou-ou:
Singin: dont worry about a thing, worry about a thing, oh!
Every little thing gonna be all right. dont worry!
Singin: dont worry about a thing - I wont worry!
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right - I wont worry!
Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry about a thing, oh no!
cause every little thing gonna be all right!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
You Don't Know
You don't know the pain you cause with the nonchalance you place on your relationships!
You have chosen him over family and friends, not caring about the consequence!
Watch the walls tumble around you wondering why is this happening.
Hate filled anger fills your lungs and you don't care who feels your wrath!
You don't know how to talk to people, you don't know how to look someone in the eye, you are completely false because you are completely void.
You are in a relationship so dramatized, so traumatized, so abusive on both parts that you except to be treated like that by everyone, so you treat everyone like that!
I'm not judging I don't care how you choose to spend your life, but I see an end to this situation.
I see an end to the jealousy that consumes him, that keeps you engulf in this world of darkness.
I see an end to this relationship that you completely and totally justify to all those around you.
In the end, you will be alone...
Looking around wondering when the walls fell down and we all walked away.
I refuse to watch this thing you call love, I refuse to be a part of this unnatural life.
You have chosen him over family and friends, not caring about the consequence!
Watch the walls tumble around you wondering why is this happening.
Hate filled anger fills your lungs and you don't care who feels your wrath!
You don't know how to talk to people, you don't know how to look someone in the eye, you are completely false because you are completely void.
You are in a relationship so dramatized, so traumatized, so abusive on both parts that you except to be treated like that by everyone, so you treat everyone like that!
I'm not judging I don't care how you choose to spend your life, but I see an end to this situation.
I see an end to the jealousy that consumes him, that keeps you engulf in this world of darkness.
I see an end to this relationship that you completely and totally justify to all those around you.
In the end, you will be alone...
Looking around wondering when the walls fell down and we all walked away.
I refuse to watch this thing you call love, I refuse to be a part of this unnatural life.
Monday, August 24, 2009
A Purpose Driven Life
So, a few years ago, Marina (my church) bought all the members a copy of the book "A Purpose Driven Life" and the accompanying daily journal. Like everything having to do with church, I started it, but didn't finish it.
Well, I've been thinking about going out and buying a daily devotional, but then I thought...hey I have this book and journal, why don't I just do that on a daily basis. I think it lasts a month and from there I can move on to a daily journal!
It's going to take some real disciple to do this, I will have to really dedicate myself to this, but I'm ready for this journey!
Well, I've been thinking about going out and buying a daily devotional, but then I thought...hey I have this book and journal, why don't I just do that on a daily basis. I think it lasts a month and from there I can move on to a daily journal!
It's going to take some real disciple to do this, I will have to really dedicate myself to this, but I'm ready for this journey!
My Heart by Paramore
I am finding out that maybe I was wrong
That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone
Stay with me, this is what I need, please?
Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?
I am nothing now and it's been so long
Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope
This time I will be listening.
Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours
(My heart, it beats for you)
This heart, it beats, beats for only you (It beats, beats for only you)
My heart is yours (My heart is yours)
This heart, it beats, beats for only you (Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
My heart, my heart is yours (Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
My heart is yours(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
My heart is yours(Please don't go, please don't fade away)
(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
My heart is...
That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone
Stay with me, this is what I need, please?
Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?
I am nothing now and it's been so long
Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope
This time I will be listening.
Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours
(My heart, it beats for you)
This heart, it beats, beats for only you (It beats, beats for only you)
My heart is yours (My heart is yours)
This heart, it beats, beats for only you (Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
My heart, my heart is yours (Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
My heart is yours(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
My heart is yours(Please don't go, please don't fade away)
(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
My heart is...
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Give me a SERVANT'S heart
Earlier this week I posted about my feelings about God and how I'm slowly but surely finding my way back to him. I told you how the prayer "Lord, give me a servant's heart" had been running through my mind and I had found myself praying it.
Well today, I took my first actual steps to be a servant of the Lord. We (my mom, Amber, Danae and I) got up early this morning and went to help foster kids pick out clothes for school at Kohl's in West Hills. I've been up (except for an hour long nap) since 3:30 this morning, it was still dark!!!! But I'm very glad/happy that I did it and could be used. I'm also happy that I my friends and family wanted to take part in it with me!
We didn't hang out together in the store (well, my mom and Danae were paired up). I had two teenage girls and their mom with me for about an hour and 45 mins. I didn't know how they were going to react to me, or even if they would interact with me (especially with their mom there) but by the end of it all...we had fun and they got some really cute clothes!
Lord, give me a servants heart!
At the end of the day, it didn't matter what time we had to get up, who drove or how tired I've been all day. What really matters is that those girls had fun. I don't know their entire situation, but it seems like they are in a very loving home with people who truly care for them. Their mom thanked me and said repeatedly that she was happy because I actually got them to shop (because she can't!), not only did they shop, but they both strayed outside their comfort zone and got clothes that they wouldn't normally pick out!
My prayer going into anything has always been, "God, if I can just affect one kid, if I can just make one kid happy, I'll be fine with that!" I think that God answered both my prayers today and I'm very happy about it!
Lord, give me a servant's heart!
Well today, I took my first actual steps to be a servant of the Lord. We (my mom, Amber, Danae and I) got up early this morning and went to help foster kids pick out clothes for school at Kohl's in West Hills. I've been up (except for an hour long nap) since 3:30 this morning, it was still dark!!!! But I'm very glad/happy that I did it and could be used. I'm also happy that I my friends and family wanted to take part in it with me!
We didn't hang out together in the store (well, my mom and Danae were paired up). I had two teenage girls and their mom with me for about an hour and 45 mins. I didn't know how they were going to react to me, or even if they would interact with me (especially with their mom there) but by the end of it all...we had fun and they got some really cute clothes!
Lord, give me a servants heart!
At the end of the day, it didn't matter what time we had to get up, who drove or how tired I've been all day. What really matters is that those girls had fun. I don't know their entire situation, but it seems like they are in a very loving home with people who truly care for them. Their mom thanked me and said repeatedly that she was happy because I actually got them to shop (because she can't!), not only did they shop, but they both strayed outside their comfort zone and got clothes that they wouldn't normally pick out!
My prayer going into anything has always been, "God, if I can just affect one kid, if I can just make one kid happy, I'll be fine with that!" I think that God answered both my prayers today and I'm very happy about it!
Lord, give me a servant's heart!
Me and My God part 2
There are alot of changes that need to be done. I always find my inspiration in the moment that it's least useful. At a time when I don't have a pen in my hand to write it down or when in an instant I will forget it. This morning, "Lord give me a servants heart" went flying through my head. I remember it, because I've never asked for it before...I've never wanted that before, Never!
The servants are the lowest, that last...but Jesus knelt before His disciples and served them. I look around this world (country) and see everything telling me that I'm too good to be a servant and my mind totally rejects the claim that as a Christian I SHOULD be a servant. I should follow Jesus' example and serve the people around me? And even though my mind rejects it, all day I've been thinking the same thing, "Lord give me a servants heart"?
What's going on? Have I completely lost my mind? Am I in the process of losing my mind or is it that this silent little pray is what I've been hiding away in my heart? I've been told that the Lord will give us the desires of our hearts. I've learned that it's true, but it's not when we want it or how we expect to get it. I've had desires on my heart for YEARS that have not been obtained prayers that haven't been answered, but this one...this small little whisper of a prayer, I know God will give me. "Lord give me a servant's heart".
The first step for me will be this Saturday...I will be getting up at some crazy hour in the morning and heading out to West Hills to help some foster kids go shopping for new school clothes. All I want to do is make it a fun experience, be encouraging and serve. Because as much as I want to fight it, this is what I've been called to do!
I know that like any other relationship this one, between me and God, is going to take some time to mend. But I know He's patient and I know He wants to be actively in my life. So, I just have to get pass all my issues and open myself up to Him again
The servants are the lowest, that last...but Jesus knelt before His disciples and served them. I look around this world (country) and see everything telling me that I'm too good to be a servant and my mind totally rejects the claim that as a Christian I SHOULD be a servant. I should follow Jesus' example and serve the people around me? And even though my mind rejects it, all day I've been thinking the same thing, "Lord give me a servants heart"?
What's going on? Have I completely lost my mind? Am I in the process of losing my mind or is it that this silent little pray is what I've been hiding away in my heart? I've been told that the Lord will give us the desires of our hearts. I've learned that it's true, but it's not when we want it or how we expect to get it. I've had desires on my heart for YEARS that have not been obtained prayers that haven't been answered, but this one...this small little whisper of a prayer, I know God will give me. "Lord give me a servant's heart".
The first step for me will be this Saturday...I will be getting up at some crazy hour in the morning and heading out to West Hills to help some foster kids go shopping for new school clothes. All I want to do is make it a fun experience, be encouraging and serve. Because as much as I want to fight it, this is what I've been called to do!
I know that like any other relationship this one, between me and God, is going to take some time to mend. But I know He's patient and I know He wants to be actively in my life. So, I just have to get pass all my issues and open myself up to Him again
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Random Acts of Kindness
Sometimes, people just do things that make you step back and say wow!
A couple of days ago someone came up to me and said, I have something for you. I have something I want to give you, it's a leather jacket! I just have to remember to bring it. Well, just that thought was nice, and since I figure that most people are as forgetful as I am, I didn't think I'd see it anytime soon. But the thought was nice!
Low and behold, today, I received this nice leather jacket. She looks at me and says I wanted to give it to someone special....I didn't really want to give it up, but I want you to have it!
What do you say to that? I mean, that's just not something you expect! Random acts of kindness are amazing!
(I didn't include who the kind individual was or where this took place, but it wasn't just some random stranger!)
A couple of days ago someone came up to me and said, I have something for you. I have something I want to give you, it's a leather jacket! I just have to remember to bring it. Well, just that thought was nice, and since I figure that most people are as forgetful as I am, I didn't think I'd see it anytime soon. But the thought was nice!
Low and behold, today, I received this nice leather jacket. She looks at me and says I wanted to give it to someone special....I didn't really want to give it up, but I want you to have it!
What do you say to that? I mean, that's just not something you expect! Random acts of kindness are amazing!
(I didn't include who the kind individual was or where this took place, but it wasn't just some random stranger!)
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
With or Without You by U2
See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you
With or without you
With or without you
Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And Im waiting for you
With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you
And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you giveAnd you give
And you give yourself away
My hands are tied
My body bruised, shes got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose
My hands are tied
My body bruised, shes got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose
And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you giveAnd you give
And you give yourself away
With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you
With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you
With or without you
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you
With or without you
With or without you
Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And Im waiting for you
With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you
And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you giveAnd you give
And you give yourself away
My hands are tied
My body bruised, shes got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose
My hands are tied
My body bruised, shes got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose
And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you giveAnd you give
And you give yourself away
With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you
With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you
With or without you
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