Sunday, November 29, 2009
Doesn't matter if your Fat or Skinny...
I love Victoria Beckham. I love her style and I love the way she carries herself. I think that she is a great lady in the way that she knows how to dress for the appropriate situation whether she's meeting the queen or walking through the park with her husband. Many people would probably be surprised that I like her, but if you really know me, it wouldn't surprise you! I long for the days when people actually got dressed up to go out of their house, whether it be to run to the market or to go out to dinner. There was a time where women dressed and acted like ladies and men dressed and acted like gentlemen. I miss that time, but I admire people like David and Victoria Beckham for bringing a little of that class back into this society of dressing like a ho and pimp!
Now, there is one thing that people would find offensive about Victoria...she's super skinny. Yes she is...funny thing, it never bothered me that she's so small. I never thought about it like that. I never saw past the great outfit to see what size was shown on the labels.
I'm not skinny and I've never been skinny. I don't think I ever will be and I don't strive to be! I strive to be happy....happy within myself and the body, personality and traits I've been given. I can't buy the clothes (size or designers) that she can, but I can hold myself up like a lady.
I don't consider myself fat, although others may, I am overweight, chunky, hefty even. But I'm not fat. Am I happy with the size I am? Sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not, most times I don't care. I do care if I'm healthy though. I don't always make the right decisions on what I do or eat, and if I did I may not be the size I am, but I may not be much smaller than I am now either.
We have such a false sense of beauty in this country that striving for what we see around us will destroy us! Shouldn't we be striving to be happy with ourselves? There are women and men who work out everyday and will never be a size smaller than 10. Not because they don't take care of themselves, but because their body isn't the stereotypical type.
I have a co-worker who's going on a new health plan. I'm happy for her, but I've been trying to make sure she's doing it for the right reasons...mainly for herself. Not because of what other people think she should do or look like. She's not fat by any means, but she's not happy with certain parts of her body and she wants to fix them. Good for her! I'm glad for her and will do my best to be encouraging! I've been doing the same for someone else that I work with. She wasn't happy and decided to do something about it. I try to encourage her with my humor and wit. I will continue to do this until she doesn't need it anymore. But I think everyone needs some encouragement.
To me it doesn't matter if you're fat or skinny as long as your happy. I can understand people wanting to be healthy, you can be healthy and large...you can be skinny and very healthy, but ultimately you have to be happy within yourself. Because if you're happy you won't care what the world says you should be. Besides if you look around you'll see that most of people who try to tell you what you should be really aren't happy with themselves!
Don't Hold On To It....Just Let It Go!!!
There are people in my life that I am inherently like...I can't help that my learned traits (and some I was born with) mirror the people who've been around me my entire life. I have excepted that I will always default to these traits, whether I like it or not, I just do. I've been called a brat and evil. I've been told that I am so selfish that I am destroying some one's life. I have, in fact, taken these very harsh and negative words used to hurt me and tried to do my best not to ultimately become like the person who launched them at me.
Over the years I've held on to things that frankly, weren't worth a second thought. I've thought about them time and again, allowed them to bring me to anger or tears and denied myself letting them go for the thought of "I'll get them back one day". But really will I get them back? Will I have the balls to bring it up in conversation?...will I ever even see the person who offended me? Probably not! I hold on to them because I'm too weak to just let it go.
About ten years ago I realized the path I was on and set out to not be like certain people around me. I found people I could learn good positive things from and I grew closer to them, leaving behind old ways and people. I've learned to love without condition, see with new eyes and from a different perspective and most importantly I've learned to let things go and forgive.
Forgiveness is not for the offender, but the offended. Some people will never know that they hurt you or that you are angry with them. Some may know and not care...90 percent of the offenses we will encounter won't end in an apology. So we treat them like unresolved situations when really we should just forgive and move on.
A prominent figure in my life has been holding on to things for most of my life. If you ask why he/she feels that way about someone or something they'll tell you a story that happened in the 70's, 80's or maybe even the 60's. The rational they use to hold on to this doesn't make sense and is actually tiring. This person can tell you they don't get along with a family member because that person borrowed money and never paid it back...it happened in 1980 something...the borrower doesn't remember and if you're not going to remind them just drop it!
Over these years I've been offended, I've forgiven and moved on. I've tried, with great effort, not to hold on to anything that isn't productive to my life. My resolve has been tested, but I always try to defer to what I learned as a child...Forgive and forget, turn the other cheek. Over time (AFTER you've forgiven), you may be able to forget but only after you remove it from your mind with forgiveness. God calls us to forgive, FOR US, for our peace of mind, for our growth and spiritual awareness. There's no reason to hold on to things that are not productive. There's no reason to hold on to something for 20 years, when you're not ready to step up and voice you're opinion on it.
If you must hold on to it, don't be a coward, speak. But my advice would be to let it go...you'll feel better and maybe, just maybe, you can let your overall bitterness go and people would want to share in a moment with you!
Now, all that being said, I do have one thing I struggle with in this regard. (If you knew the story you probably wouldn't hesitate to allow me this one thing.) It's a struggle that God has been trying to walk me through most of my life. There are days when I feel like I can forgive, then there are days when I choose to hold on to it. I'm not perfect, minor offenses I will readily let go...but this HUGE trauma will ALWAYS effect me and my relationships forever! I don't think that God will rush me through it, He understand the pain and loss...but He has called me to forgive and that I will always try my best to do!
Over the years I've held on to things that frankly, weren't worth a second thought. I've thought about them time and again, allowed them to bring me to anger or tears and denied myself letting them go for the thought of "I'll get them back one day". But really will I get them back? Will I have the balls to bring it up in conversation?...will I ever even see the person who offended me? Probably not! I hold on to them because I'm too weak to just let it go.
About ten years ago I realized the path I was on and set out to not be like certain people around me. I found people I could learn good positive things from and I grew closer to them, leaving behind old ways and people. I've learned to love without condition, see with new eyes and from a different perspective and most importantly I've learned to let things go and forgive.
Forgiveness is not for the offender, but the offended. Some people will never know that they hurt you or that you are angry with them. Some may know and not care...90 percent of the offenses we will encounter won't end in an apology. So we treat them like unresolved situations when really we should just forgive and move on.
A prominent figure in my life has been holding on to things for most of my life. If you ask why he/she feels that way about someone or something they'll tell you a story that happened in the 70's, 80's or maybe even the 60's. The rational they use to hold on to this doesn't make sense and is actually tiring. This person can tell you they don't get along with a family member because that person borrowed money and never paid it back...it happened in 1980 something...the borrower doesn't remember and if you're not going to remind them just drop it!
Over these years I've been offended, I've forgiven and moved on. I've tried, with great effort, not to hold on to anything that isn't productive to my life. My resolve has been tested, but I always try to defer to what I learned as a child...Forgive and forget, turn the other cheek. Over time (AFTER you've forgiven), you may be able to forget but only after you remove it from your mind with forgiveness. God calls us to forgive, FOR US, for our peace of mind, for our growth and spiritual awareness. There's no reason to hold on to things that are not productive. There's no reason to hold on to something for 20 years, when you're not ready to step up and voice you're opinion on it.
If you must hold on to it, don't be a coward, speak. But my advice would be to let it go...you'll feel better and maybe, just maybe, you can let your overall bitterness go and people would want to share in a moment with you!
Now, all that being said, I do have one thing I struggle with in this regard. (If you knew the story you probably wouldn't hesitate to allow me this one thing.) It's a struggle that God has been trying to walk me through most of my life. There are days when I feel like I can forgive, then there are days when I choose to hold on to it. I'm not perfect, minor offenses I will readily let go...but this HUGE trauma will ALWAYS effect me and my relationships forever! I don't think that God will rush me through it, He understand the pain and loss...but He has called me to forgive and that I will always try my best to do!
Happiness Is a Choice!
I once hear someone say, love is a choice...you don't fall in and out of love. you choose every day to love someone or something! I've thought, mediated and reflected on that thought on many occasions since then. I do believe that statement, I do believe that we choose who we love. Even the people we don't like (certain family members or friends of friends or people you go to church with) we may choose to love. I was recently reflecting on my current state of happiness and how, despite being frustrated and anger at time throughout the year, I have been happy! I'm choosing everyday to be happy and thankful for the blessings I have in my life.
I'm choosing!
We take for granted the every day mundane things we have in our lives...the ability to think rationally, the ability to breathe without help, the ability to walk, talk, smell, see, use our hands...small things that we just do (hey the ability to blink). We don't necessarily think "oh it's time to sallow" or "it's time to blink"...no, our bodies just to do it! And that's a miraculous thing. So why not be thankful for it or happy to have it?
I've had a difficult year at work, but no matter how hard it got I was happy that I had a job, when so many do not. I've looked at the circumstances of my life. They aren't perfect...there are certainly things I want (don't need'em, but want'em), but I have chosen to wake up every day and be happy with what I have. God has blessed me with so much and everyday I am happy to experience what He has in store for me, whether it be hard or easy. It's part of the journey and I am happy to still be on it.
There are people around me that only see the negative. I feel bad for them, they have completely missed the point. They don't see the smallest blessings...I would take the small ones over the big ones any day. I am happy to have friends, however few, I am happy to see that they are happy. We never seem to really be happy because there's always something we can find the negative in...but maybe, just maybe, if we stop looking for the negative and focus on the positive we can truly be happy within our own situation.
So, yes I can stand up and say that I believe, truly, that happiness is a choice and I choose everyday to be happy in my small life in this world. I don't care how big it is, I just care that I am blessed and happy! I hope that you can choose to be happy too!
Until Next Time
I'm choosing!
We take for granted the every day mundane things we have in our lives...the ability to think rationally, the ability to breathe without help, the ability to walk, talk, smell, see, use our hands...small things that we just do (hey the ability to blink). We don't necessarily think "oh it's time to sallow" or "it's time to blink"...no, our bodies just to do it! And that's a miraculous thing. So why not be thankful for it or happy to have it?
I've had a difficult year at work, but no matter how hard it got I was happy that I had a job, when so many do not. I've looked at the circumstances of my life. They aren't perfect...there are certainly things I want (don't need'em, but want'em), but I have chosen to wake up every day and be happy with what I have. God has blessed me with so much and everyday I am happy to experience what He has in store for me, whether it be hard or easy. It's part of the journey and I am happy to still be on it.
There are people around me that only see the negative. I feel bad for them, they have completely missed the point. They don't see the smallest blessings...I would take the small ones over the big ones any day. I am happy to have friends, however few, I am happy to see that they are happy. We never seem to really be happy because there's always something we can find the negative in...but maybe, just maybe, if we stop looking for the negative and focus on the positive we can truly be happy within our own situation.
So, yes I can stand up and say that I believe, truly, that happiness is a choice and I choose everyday to be happy in my small life in this world. I don't care how big it is, I just care that I am blessed and happy! I hope that you can choose to be happy too!
Until Next Time
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thanksgiving 2009
So this was going to be a Happy Day full of food and family and of course...it ends with me being treated like a second class citizen, because my father has issues with me. Whatever, his problems are his problems and there is nothing on this earth I can do to make him happy. So I stopped trying to understand him or make him happy a long time ago. I just try my best to NOT be like him.
Thanksgiving is a day about family and being thankful for the things and people you have in your life! I try my best to be thankful everyday, but this is a day where we sit down and actually think about what we have to be thankful for!
In this time of economic trauma a lot of people will find it difficult to find thankfulness...which makes me even more thankful for what I've been blessed with this year. I'm not going to name everything...but there is one thing I am especially grateful to God for...he has showed me what I am missing and though I'm not all the way back I'm slowly making my way to him.
I am grateful most of all for the opportunity I had to volunteer this year and I'm thankful that my mom and Amber and Danae wanted to do it too!
Like I said I have tons of reasons to be thankful! But I just wanted to share those two things...I'm not trying to pat myself on the back...just trying to remember that feeling...which was awesome!
Thank You!
Thanksgiving is a day about family and being thankful for the things and people you have in your life! I try my best to be thankful everyday, but this is a day where we sit down and actually think about what we have to be thankful for!
In this time of economic trauma a lot of people will find it difficult to find thankfulness...which makes me even more thankful for what I've been blessed with this year. I'm not going to name everything...but there is one thing I am especially grateful to God for...he has showed me what I am missing and though I'm not all the way back I'm slowly making my way to him.
I am grateful most of all for the opportunity I had to volunteer this year and I'm thankful that my mom and Amber and Danae wanted to do it too!
Like I said I have tons of reasons to be thankful! But I just wanted to share those two things...I'm not trying to pat myself on the back...just trying to remember that feeling...which was awesome!
Thank You!
Did Adam Lambert Go Too Far?
Now, I only watch American Idol the first two weeks of the show...that's when all the bad singers are on! After that I'm done, I don't watch or worry about it in any way or form! I wouldn't know who Adam Lambert was if it hadn't of been for my cousin who loves him and watched American Idol hoping he would win it all! Well he didn't, she said it was rigged...it went to someone else, whatever!
Still I didn't care, couldn't give two cents to care...until my brother showed me his album cover (which is totally ripped off from Boy George) and I was mildly interested in what this guy was gonna come up with next! But not that much because I could have watched him on on the American Music Awards last weekend, but I chose to go to sleep instead!
The next morning I wake up to the knowledge that he pulled off some kind of inappropriate performance full of sex, violence and risque behavior not suitable for kids, Dick Clark Productions or the House of Mouse (owner of ABC). I couldn't believe what I was hearing and I couldn't watch it on the net, so I asked around...only one person could tell me what it was about and I agreed with her...inappropriate! The next day, I heard more about it in the media and I decided to look for in on the net...it's since been taken down. So I haven't seen it....but I did see something in a headline...why are we getting so up in arms about Adam Lambert in 2009 when we didn't care about Britney and Madonna and Christina a few years ago?
I surely didn't care then and I don't really care now, but I know that if I was a parent of a teen or preteen I would have been appalled that this form of entertainment (remember I haven't seen it, this is all from what I've heard) was available for my kid during a very superficial award show.
But I'm not a parent and I didn't see it....so all I have is hear say from all over...so like the title of this post I have one question...Did Adam Lambert go to far?
What's your opinion? How do you feel about the whole situation? Did he indeed go to far or am I and the media making too big a deal about it?
Still I didn't care, couldn't give two cents to care...until my brother showed me his album cover (which is totally ripped off from Boy George) and I was mildly interested in what this guy was gonna come up with next! But not that much because I could have watched him on on the American Music Awards last weekend, but I chose to go to sleep instead!
The next morning I wake up to the knowledge that he pulled off some kind of inappropriate performance full of sex, violence and risque behavior not suitable for kids, Dick Clark Productions or the House of Mouse (owner of ABC). I couldn't believe what I was hearing and I couldn't watch it on the net, so I asked around...only one person could tell me what it was about and I agreed with her...inappropriate! The next day, I heard more about it in the media and I decided to look for in on the net...it's since been taken down. So I haven't seen it....but I did see something in a headline...why are we getting so up in arms about Adam Lambert in 2009 when we didn't care about Britney and Madonna and Christina a few years ago?
I surely didn't care then and I don't really care now, but I know that if I was a parent of a teen or preteen I would have been appalled that this form of entertainment (remember I haven't seen it, this is all from what I've heard) was available for my kid during a very superficial award show.
But I'm not a parent and I didn't see it....so all I have is hear say from all over...so like the title of this post I have one question...Did Adam Lambert go to far?
What's your opinion? How do you feel about the whole situation? Did he indeed go to far or am I and the media making too big a deal about it?
New Moon Movie Review
So, as a fan of books, movies and some books turned into movies...I gladly shelled out money to watch this book turned movie. Now, I did the same last year...I shouldn't have, but like all things I had to learn the hard way. Anyone who says that the first installment of this saga (Twilight) needs to seek professional help!
The book was so compelling and well written that I could only hope the movie (Twilight) would be the same, but I was sorely disappointed with it. I'm so used to movie makers taking books like LotR and Harry Potters (and even 300 and Watchmen) and actually turning them into must watch movies, that I forgot the director couldn't direct! If it wasn't for the book Twilight would have been sunk in the water.
So, knowing my disappointment with the first I still stepped up to the second, hopeful that a new director and more money would make a better movie. And I was right....
It's no classic, but it is a good popcorn fest...it's full of moments from the book that I hoped I'd experience in the movie. I like the cinematography, the colors used and captured, I even liked the wolves. But I was most impressed with Michael Sheen as Aro!
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart! I can't seem to get passed the fact that in real life he looks like he may smell, he's completely opposition of Edward (and I know he's an actor and is playing a role) but all I see is stink rising off his body. I don't really care for him as Edward...the only time I feel like he was Edward like was in the first film, when he is first introduced, after that it's all been a let down. Kristen Stewart...I've seen her in a couple non-Twilight related movies in which I think she did a good job, but in this movie it was more looking torn...biting her lips and overall blankness.
Alice (played by Ashley Greene) is my favorite character and Ms. Greene does a great job as her...although there is a scene where she jumps a railing that was completely unnecessary.
The visual effects were better! You cold see the difference between the eye colors of the different Vampires, which was very very slight last movie. I enjoyed watching the wolves more than I thought I would. And on the Wolves...I really like the makeup that was done on Emily (Sam's fiance), it was always hard for me to image her look, but they nailed it!
Other than Robert and Kristen the only thing I didn't like was the score...it was way tooo cheesey...and I love cheese, but this was like Velveta on top of Velveta!
Michael Sheen as Aro....wow! Perfection! There's nothing else to say, but that man is a real actor...true! He can take a role and own it...I was so glad he was chosen for this role and he didn't disappoint one bit!
So overall I would recommend this movie...if only for those who heard something of the books...if you haven't you could wait until it's on DVD would you may lose something in the effects! Enjoy
The book was so compelling and well written that I could only hope the movie (Twilight) would be the same, but I was sorely disappointed with it. I'm so used to movie makers taking books like LotR and Harry Potters (and even 300 and Watchmen) and actually turning them into must watch movies, that I forgot the director couldn't direct! If it wasn't for the book Twilight would have been sunk in the water.
So, knowing my disappointment with the first I still stepped up to the second, hopeful that a new director and more money would make a better movie. And I was right....
It's no classic, but it is a good popcorn fest...it's full of moments from the book that I hoped I'd experience in the movie. I like the cinematography, the colors used and captured, I even liked the wolves. But I was most impressed with Michael Sheen as Aro!
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart! I can't seem to get passed the fact that in real life he looks like he may smell, he's completely opposition of Edward (and I know he's an actor and is playing a role) but all I see is stink rising off his body. I don't really care for him as Edward...the only time I feel like he was Edward like was in the first film, when he is first introduced, after that it's all been a let down. Kristen Stewart...I've seen her in a couple non-Twilight related movies in which I think she did a good job, but in this movie it was more looking torn...biting her lips and overall blankness.
Alice (played by Ashley Greene) is my favorite character and Ms. Greene does a great job as her...although there is a scene where she jumps a railing that was completely unnecessary.
The visual effects were better! You cold see the difference between the eye colors of the different Vampires, which was very very slight last movie. I enjoyed watching the wolves more than I thought I would. And on the Wolves...I really like the makeup that was done on Emily (Sam's fiance), it was always hard for me to image her look, but they nailed it!
Other than Robert and Kristen the only thing I didn't like was the score...it was way tooo cheesey...and I love cheese, but this was like Velveta on top of Velveta!
Michael Sheen as Aro....wow! Perfection! There's nothing else to say, but that man is a real actor...true! He can take a role and own it...I was so glad he was chosen for this role and he didn't disappoint one bit!
So overall I would recommend this movie...if only for those who heard something of the books...if you haven't you could wait until it's on DVD would you may lose something in the effects! Enjoy
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
So Many Things I Want to Say!!!
I've been thinking about several different topics I want to write about. Some very personal, some social and some just celebrity gossip nonsense. I decided to list them below...and I will post a topic in detail on each one, but I just don't have the time at this moment. Over the next week, I will complete the thought(s) I have on each topic.
1. Why aren't I married yet?
2. Did Adam Lambert go too far?
3. New Moon movie review.
4. Doesn't matter if your fat or skinny as long as your striving to be your best.
5. Holding on to what doesn't matter.
6. Thanksgiving!
7. Happiness is a choice!
Seven days, seven topics...I should get started. See ya later! And enjoy!
1. Why aren't I married yet?
2. Did Adam Lambert go too far?
3. New Moon movie review.
4. Doesn't matter if your fat or skinny as long as your striving to be your best.
5. Holding on to what doesn't matter.
6. Thanksgiving!
7. Happiness is a choice!
Seven days, seven topics...I should get started. See ya later! And enjoy!
Monday, November 09, 2009
Luke 22:31-32 (with creative license)
I have read this verse twice in the last two weeks...coincidence, I think not. Yesterday when I read it I thought of it differently. Thinking about my last year of turmoil, I decided to reread the verse, but with my name inserted...it made perfect sense and gave me a new understanding into why God allowed me to live through it all. So here's the verse below...with my name inserted!
"Melanie, Melanie, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Melanie, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."
If you don't recognize this verse it's Jesus telling Simon he is going to deny him 3 times. I haven't denied Jesus to anyone, but myself. I've denied him an outstanding place in my life and heart, because when I am going through hard times I lean on my own understanding...which usually results in even more hard times!
I can understand Satan asking to sift me and I can understand God allowing it, not because he wanted me to hurt, but because that's the only way I learn! The last part of that verse harkens back to something my Pastor Kevin told me about 8 years ago...."God will use your life to effect people, he's allowed certain things to happen in your life for His glory." I had forgot about that, but I get it. I'm always learning from others mistakes why wouldn't someone choose to learn from mine?
This was just something I wanted to share...something that provoked my thoughts, maybe it'll provoke yours too!
"Melanie, Melanie, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Melanie, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."
If you don't recognize this verse it's Jesus telling Simon he is going to deny him 3 times. I haven't denied Jesus to anyone, but myself. I've denied him an outstanding place in my life and heart, because when I am going through hard times I lean on my own understanding...which usually results in even more hard times!
I can understand Satan asking to sift me and I can understand God allowing it, not because he wanted me to hurt, but because that's the only way I learn! The last part of that verse harkens back to something my Pastor Kevin told me about 8 years ago...."God will use your life to effect people, he's allowed certain things to happen in your life for His glory." I had forgot about that, but I get it. I'm always learning from others mistakes why wouldn't someone choose to learn from mine?
This was just something I wanted to share...something that provoked my thoughts, maybe it'll provoke yours too!
Technology, It's an Addiction
There was a time in my life when I only had 7 channels to watch, 1 phone I could use, a cassette player and if I wanted to read the news I had to buy a paper. That was life circa 1997! Now, 12 years later I have an Ipod, cellphone (with Internet), satellite TV, email, 2 blogs, a digital camera and I read the gossip (not even real news) at any time I want and when I get home I run to the computer to check my facebook!
The world was supposed to get easier with the addition and enhancement of technology. It was supposed to make the world smaller and make us smarter! I guess, it has lived up to it's claims...now instead of having to get dressed and leave my house I can fully communicate with friends, shop for anything, and listen to the newest songs by my favorite artists all from the comfort of my living room in my pajamas! But with all the greatness it offers technology also greatly hinders us.
How many times have you been in a mall and/or market and witnessed a kid (teens included) walking with their parents but totally listening to an Ipod or on a cellphone (whether talking or texting)? It seems like this behavior has become the norm. I am as guilty as the rest. I don't deny my addiction to technology or my inability to keep myself from using it as a drug. Everyday I use my phone, my Ipod, a computer (several actually) and if I don't par take in at least one of these activities I feel like my day has been wasted with the pursuit of nothingness! It's ashame and very sad, especially because I can actually be in the midst of a fantastic life altering experience, and still I feel the guilt of a wasted day. Guilt because I didn't fulfill a superficial need that I recently developed because the world said I needed it! Wow, how sad!
Have you ever complained about having nothing to watch on your 500 channels of TV? Or are upset because there's no new gossip on a blog site and none of your friends have posted anything new on a social site? How about this...have you ever been jealous of a friend's phone? Yes, their phone! Because your phone isn't as new or pretty or sophisticated as theirs...my best friend has an Iphone and I was completely and totally envious of it. I have gotten over it since she got it, but there was a time when I just wanted it! Addiction rearing it's ugly head.
And that's it isn't it? Technology and jealousy go hand in hand, their blog is better, I want a site like hers, she's his facebook friend but not mine! Jealous, jealous jealous! He has an Ipod with video, oohhh I want that Flat Screen High Def 64 Inch wall mounted Television! Then the pursuit of technology turns from I want to I need! I need that new state of the art washer/dryer. I need a mac! I need the plasma, blu-ray with the attached coffeemaker and phone. No, You Don't!
We don't need any of these things. We want them definitely...have to have them certainly, but our lives DO NOT continue or end if we don't get the new X-Box. And I know this because at 30 years old I have never owned or played an X-Box and I'm perfectly content, but maybe that's the problem? If you don't want it, you don't need it! I But if you crave it (or in reference to addiction feen for it) you need it.
I don't need my small gadgets but I enjoy them and yes I crave them, but my life will continue without them. Will it cause me grief? In the beginning, but as I ween myself off the technology teet, I will return to the small wonder of a 17 year old who was content with 7 channels, 1 phone, books and newspapers and cassettes (which I actually do miss)
But I'm not ready for that just yet!
The world was supposed to get easier with the addition and enhancement of technology. It was supposed to make the world smaller and make us smarter! I guess, it has lived up to it's claims...now instead of having to get dressed and leave my house I can fully communicate with friends, shop for anything, and listen to the newest songs by my favorite artists all from the comfort of my living room in my pajamas! But with all the greatness it offers technology also greatly hinders us.
How many times have you been in a mall and/or market and witnessed a kid (teens included) walking with their parents but totally listening to an Ipod or on a cellphone (whether talking or texting)? It seems like this behavior has become the norm. I am as guilty as the rest. I don't deny my addiction to technology or my inability to keep myself from using it as a drug. Everyday I use my phone, my Ipod, a computer (several actually) and if I don't par take in at least one of these activities I feel like my day has been wasted with the pursuit of nothingness! It's ashame and very sad, especially because I can actually be in the midst of a fantastic life altering experience, and still I feel the guilt of a wasted day. Guilt because I didn't fulfill a superficial need that I recently developed because the world said I needed it! Wow, how sad!
Have you ever complained about having nothing to watch on your 500 channels of TV? Or are upset because there's no new gossip on a blog site and none of your friends have posted anything new on a social site? How about this...have you ever been jealous of a friend's phone? Yes, their phone! Because your phone isn't as new or pretty or sophisticated as theirs...my best friend has an Iphone and I was completely and totally envious of it. I have gotten over it since she got it, but there was a time when I just wanted it! Addiction rearing it's ugly head.
And that's it isn't it? Technology and jealousy go hand in hand, their blog is better, I want a site like hers, she's his facebook friend but not mine! Jealous, jealous jealous! He has an Ipod with video, oohhh I want that Flat Screen High Def 64 Inch wall mounted Television! Then the pursuit of technology turns from I want to I need! I need that new state of the art washer/dryer. I need a mac! I need the plasma, blu-ray with the attached coffeemaker and phone. No, You Don't!
We don't need any of these things. We want them definitely...have to have them certainly, but our lives DO NOT continue or end if we don't get the new X-Box. And I know this because at 30 years old I have never owned or played an X-Box and I'm perfectly content, but maybe that's the problem? If you don't want it, you don't need it! I But if you crave it (or in reference to addiction feen for it) you need it.
I don't need my small gadgets but I enjoy them and yes I crave them, but my life will continue without them. Will it cause me grief? In the beginning, but as I ween myself off the technology teet, I will return to the small wonder of a 17 year old who was content with 7 channels, 1 phone, books and newspapers and cassettes (which I actually do miss)
But I'm not ready for that just yet!
Friday, November 06, 2009
Thursday, November 05, 2009
New Website Alert...
I've lamented for a long time about how lots of people (me included) think all Christians are uptight with no sense of humor...luckily I happen to be surrounded by some very funny, laid back (and some are VERY VERY LIBERAL) Christians!
Well I found a new website by a Christian who actually speaks at conventions but is REALLY funny! Every time I read it I bust up Laughing Out Loud (or lol in text)! I enjoy the site so much that I have to give it a short out! It's
www.stuffchristianslike.net
What's even more funny is if you happen to type in .com instead of .net you get the website of a Chevy dealership! Didn't know Christians liked Chevy's that much! Anyway, check it out it's funny, it'll make you laugh! And if you've grown up in church, worked behind the scenes, are a P.K. or just show up on Sundays and hide in the back you'll find something on here that you'll relate to!
Also, I'd like to give a shout out to www.tebowseyeblack.com for posting something from stuff Christians like...that's how I found it!
Until Next Time...
Well I found a new website by a Christian who actually speaks at conventions but is REALLY funny! Every time I read it I bust up Laughing Out Loud (or lol in text)! I enjoy the site so much that I have to give it a short out! It's
www.stuffchristianslike.net
What's even more funny is if you happen to type in .com instead of .net you get the website of a Chevy dealership! Didn't know Christians liked Chevy's that much! Anyway, check it out it's funny, it'll make you laugh! And if you've grown up in church, worked behind the scenes, are a P.K. or just show up on Sundays and hide in the back you'll find something on here that you'll relate to!
Also, I'd like to give a shout out to www.tebowseyeblack.com for posting something from stuff Christians like...that's how I found it!
Until Next Time...
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Forgiveness by any other name...
So, in my recent discovery of lies and untruths that have been told to me and about me I have felt the strong presence of God telling me to forgive those who've offended me! It's not just a simple task I've been handed, it's more like a command. I've felt it for the last week or so and even though the feeling has faded slightly, He has found other ways to get my attention focus on the forgiveness boat.
But in order to bring up to how he's done that, I have to go back to the beginning of this simple little blog and the drama that came with it...
I started this blog with a simple satisfying Thank You! I was thanking the Alderson Family for welcoming me (a near stranger) into their family party and allowing me to be apart of it, so that I could see my friend Kristi (their daughter-in-law). I actually hadn't seen her or any of them in a year, they barely knew me, but the fact that I was welcomed by them all (even Grandma, who's like the coolest chick ever!) was a wonderful experience. I drove home that night and wrote out my Thanks as my first blog entry, then I emailed it out to everyone in hopes that I could really let people into my world through my writing and maybe even start a dialogue! I was so excited that the first thing I did when I woke up the next day was check my blog to see if anyone had visited..low and behold someone did...but it wasn't someone I expected!
Kristi moved up to Ventura (the City) about two and a half years before this, she was dating someone who she felt was worth the move and well, she married him, so he was worth it! And about 6 months before this party (which took place in October) my other friend Debbie moved up to Ventura to be with the person she was engaged to...(here's where it gets interesting)
Debbie, who I've know since I was in 7th grade, was someone I thought I has become close to. Well she moved to Ventura be live with the man to whom she was engaged. A man I knew almost nothing about and had never met. I hadn't seen my friend in those 6 months...and in fact had barely even spoken to her (and this after years of constant daily contact). So, one day after emailing (I think, this was before myspace/facebook) Kristi about seeing her...I just picked a day to come up and hang out, nothing formal just a visit! She told me about the party but welcomed me up anyway, saying that I was welcome and that the Aldersons would love to see me! So, I emailed Debbie, whom I had also recently had the "come visit" conversation with to tell her that I would be up that day (like a month in advance) and that I'd love to get coffee or just stop by and visit before heading over to Kristi's....Debbie's reaction was different.
After hearing about this man and his kids for about 9 months and being told I have to come up and meet them, the response I got was puzzling and hurtful. Debbie's step-daughter had a soccer game that morning, Debbie said that not only could she not see in the morning, but at all that day. After being invited to a family party by Kristi I found it odd that Debbie wouldn't want me to come meet her and her new family at a public park. Maybe I was overreacting...at least that's what I thought! So I spoke to my Mexican Momma Maria and my Real Momma Shirley (and my Dad) about it and they all had the same reaction...that's weird, my would she blow you off?
I let it go, and went up to Ventura early, hung out with Kristi in the morning and ultimately helped her more than I could ever had imagined (her Grandfather was terminally ill and in the hospital, I ended up taking her to the airport so she could fly home to see him).
Along the way I started talking to several different Alderson's about their blogs and decided on my way home to start my own and to Thank them for their hospitality in my very first post. So, I wake up the next morning and find a comment from Debbie (you can check the post out if you'd like, but the comment is gone). She basically said, "oh, you were down the street from my house and you didn't even come by!" (that's a paraphrase, but that's pretty much it). My first reaction was anger...she was basically ruining a thank you that I was trying to give by adding her own sort of "wit", however dim it was. She didn't explain how I tried to come see her, how I had never been to her house let alone met anyone in her "new" family, or how I would have never know, in a thousand years that her house was down the street from the park we were at. She just decided to put me on blast and think it was funny.
I deleted the comment and sent her an email stating how disappointed I was with her post, how I felt that it wasn't funny or called for and how she so selfishly took this nice thing I was trying to do and turn it into something about her. I let her know that the Alderson's don't know her and would read the comment as me shunning a friend when in all actuality I was the one shunned. Then because I know Debbie so well and knew that before the day was over all of our mutual friends would hear about what a bitch I was and how I made her cry, I sent the comment and accompanying email to Maria. I wanted one person to know the entire truth, without Debbie's slant. Since then (it's been 3 years) I haven't spoken to Debbie, I said all I needed to and I moved on. She has, emailed me through yahoo, myspace and just a couple of days ago facebook. That was my mistake, I commented on something Maria wrote and knew that Debbie would see it and try to find me (if Debbie has already posted a response to something on Maria's page I just avoid it), but I really wanted to comment. Not five minutes later, I got an email from her, saying that she wants to get to know me again...and in truth, I don't really care! The only time I think about her is when Maria mentions her, other than that it's like she doesn't exist in my world...at first I was sad, but I've realized that this journey was for the best and I believe I learned something...
So back to forgiveness...
I feel like God is asking me to finally forgive. I've moved on with my life and she with hers...we will never have a friendship...it's not going to be repaired but I can express that I do forgive her. Even though she really doesn't understand how hurt I was and never gave me the one thing I truly wanted from my friend, an apology, she never thought she did anything wrong. But that's fine, we are called to forgive others for our own well being...I've moved on but obviously God wants me to take the step and actually forgive her. That I will do, I can try to express my previous hurt and sadness and how I feel now. I have a good life, with good friends...people who want to be around me and who actually care if I tell them I'm hurting.
Forgiveness by any other name wouldn't be forgiveness
But in order to bring up to how he's done that, I have to go back to the beginning of this simple little blog and the drama that came with it...
I started this blog with a simple satisfying Thank You! I was thanking the Alderson Family for welcoming me (a near stranger) into their family party and allowing me to be apart of it, so that I could see my friend Kristi (their daughter-in-law). I actually hadn't seen her or any of them in a year, they barely knew me, but the fact that I was welcomed by them all (even Grandma, who's like the coolest chick ever!) was a wonderful experience. I drove home that night and wrote out my Thanks as my first blog entry, then I emailed it out to everyone in hopes that I could really let people into my world through my writing and maybe even start a dialogue! I was so excited that the first thing I did when I woke up the next day was check my blog to see if anyone had visited..low and behold someone did...but it wasn't someone I expected!
Kristi moved up to Ventura (the City) about two and a half years before this, she was dating someone who she felt was worth the move and well, she married him, so he was worth it! And about 6 months before this party (which took place in October) my other friend Debbie moved up to Ventura to be with the person she was engaged to...(here's where it gets interesting)
Debbie, who I've know since I was in 7th grade, was someone I thought I has become close to. Well she moved to Ventura be live with the man to whom she was engaged. A man I knew almost nothing about and had never met. I hadn't seen my friend in those 6 months...and in fact had barely even spoken to her (and this after years of constant daily contact). So, one day after emailing (I think, this was before myspace/facebook) Kristi about seeing her...I just picked a day to come up and hang out, nothing formal just a visit! She told me about the party but welcomed me up anyway, saying that I was welcome and that the Aldersons would love to see me! So, I emailed Debbie, whom I had also recently had the "come visit" conversation with to tell her that I would be up that day (like a month in advance) and that I'd love to get coffee or just stop by and visit before heading over to Kristi's....Debbie's reaction was different.
After hearing about this man and his kids for about 9 months and being told I have to come up and meet them, the response I got was puzzling and hurtful. Debbie's step-daughter had a soccer game that morning, Debbie said that not only could she not see in the morning, but at all that day. After being invited to a family party by Kristi I found it odd that Debbie wouldn't want me to come meet her and her new family at a public park. Maybe I was overreacting...at least that's what I thought! So I spoke to my Mexican Momma Maria and my Real Momma Shirley (and my Dad) about it and they all had the same reaction...that's weird, my would she blow you off?
I let it go, and went up to Ventura early, hung out with Kristi in the morning and ultimately helped her more than I could ever had imagined (her Grandfather was terminally ill and in the hospital, I ended up taking her to the airport so she could fly home to see him).
Along the way I started talking to several different Alderson's about their blogs and decided on my way home to start my own and to Thank them for their hospitality in my very first post. So, I wake up the next morning and find a comment from Debbie (you can check the post out if you'd like, but the comment is gone). She basically said, "oh, you were down the street from my house and you didn't even come by!" (that's a paraphrase, but that's pretty much it). My first reaction was anger...she was basically ruining a thank you that I was trying to give by adding her own sort of "wit", however dim it was. She didn't explain how I tried to come see her, how I had never been to her house let alone met anyone in her "new" family, or how I would have never know, in a thousand years that her house was down the street from the park we were at. She just decided to put me on blast and think it was funny.
I deleted the comment and sent her an email stating how disappointed I was with her post, how I felt that it wasn't funny or called for and how she so selfishly took this nice thing I was trying to do and turn it into something about her. I let her know that the Alderson's don't know her and would read the comment as me shunning a friend when in all actuality I was the one shunned. Then because I know Debbie so well and knew that before the day was over all of our mutual friends would hear about what a bitch I was and how I made her cry, I sent the comment and accompanying email to Maria. I wanted one person to know the entire truth, without Debbie's slant. Since then (it's been 3 years) I haven't spoken to Debbie, I said all I needed to and I moved on. She has, emailed me through yahoo, myspace and just a couple of days ago facebook. That was my mistake, I commented on something Maria wrote and knew that Debbie would see it and try to find me (if Debbie has already posted a response to something on Maria's page I just avoid it), but I really wanted to comment. Not five minutes later, I got an email from her, saying that she wants to get to know me again...and in truth, I don't really care! The only time I think about her is when Maria mentions her, other than that it's like she doesn't exist in my world...at first I was sad, but I've realized that this journey was for the best and I believe I learned something...
So back to forgiveness...
I feel like God is asking me to finally forgive. I've moved on with my life and she with hers...we will never have a friendship...it's not going to be repaired but I can express that I do forgive her. Even though she really doesn't understand how hurt I was and never gave me the one thing I truly wanted from my friend, an apology, she never thought she did anything wrong. But that's fine, we are called to forgive others for our own well being...I've moved on but obviously God wants me to take the step and actually forgive her. That I will do, I can try to express my previous hurt and sadness and how I feel now. I have a good life, with good friends...people who want to be around me and who actually care if I tell them I'm hurting.
Forgiveness by any other name wouldn't be forgiveness
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