Mad at God Revisited

 A few posts ago I wrote about a friend of mine who was mad at God (here) I went on about how she shouldn't be mad at God because he is preparing something more for her and she just hasn't seen it yet. I also related her tale of woe to my own. I was fairly levelheaded when writing out that particular blog post. Even after writing it God gave me the opportunity to minister to her and try to express everything I wrote about, so that she could understand the real truth behind the story.
 Well, something happened to me after that I'm not exactly sure what that something is, but I do know that the understanding levelheadness I felt when explaining how I feel about God's methods when it comes to relationships (and babies) has gone right out the window. Not only that, but I myself am starting to get increasingly angry with the Big Guy upstairs. At this moment, right now, in my mind he and I are on different pages. And the paths that the two of us are on don't seem like they will connect anytime soon.
  As you can see from this post I am in a deep dark place that hasn't seen the light of God in a long time. And even though I've only just recently slipped into this darkness...it's always been here, in my heart. You see the desires of my heart are simple, I can't understand why I haven't been granted them yet. The more time that passses the more I yearn and the more I yearn the bigger this hole in my heart grows. This darkness that eats away at me daily, trying to bring me down. No matter how hard I try to stay in the positive and be encouraging I always find myself back in this place at some point.
   I'm 30 years old and though many would say I'm not old, I know that it's only a matter of time before I will  look up and find myself old, alone and in this darkness, and Yes probably mad at God.