I Just Don't Understand...

how you can settle for less. No, let's be real, you've settled! Why do you think you don't deserve better? Do you think you can't handle being alone? Or were you bought for a pass and a purse...maybe more? 


you say this is love...how can it be? love is patience, love is kind, love does not dishonor others, love is not self-seeking, love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth, love always protects, love never fails....tell me what part of his love has ever encompassed any of these things?


if he calls you a bitch, if he tells you to fuck off...not only is that not love...that's not respect and how can you be with someone who does not respect you? how can you throw away your relationships for the one person who left you to be with several others? Who jetted you off to another state under false pretenses because he's two stupid to get himself out of the mess he created. Who married another woman, lived with her and lied to you repeatedly over months? How can you stand to be in the same room, house, bed with a man who is probably still having sex with someone else?


because you love him more than you love yourself? because you respect him more than you respect yourself?because you cannot see your life without him, even if it means you have to take verbal and emotion abuse over and over again? do you really think he loves you? do you really think he respects you?


if he did, he would have never crawled into bed with another woman...he would've never left you and came here to be with her. he would've never said he didn't want to be with you. but all those things happened and still, with one word, you went running back. abandoning all the good things in your lift for the bad thing that will keep you crying and in therapy. 


you deserve better, but he's pushed you down so low that you can't even see how bad it is. I feel bad for you. I feel bad that there's nothing I can do but sit and watch and pray that you don't make a mistake you can't take back....because when he walks away again...you'll be stuck.


but you'll probably just go running back.