The Sky

Have you ever looked at the sky?
I mean have you ever really looked at the sky and enjoyed the way the clouds move the day after it rains?
Have you ever noticed how the clear blue sky plays second chair to the pure white puffs of smoke.
It's like an intricate ballet of movements and shadows forming unbelievable shapes of priceless motion.
And then the sun shines through breaking the delicate whiteness with the sure power of it's radiance.
The rays fall across the sky like jewels sliding down a mountain.
Breathtaking is the only way to describe it.
Marvelously exquisite only captures half it's beauty.
It seems to me like God is putting on a show for the heavens and we happen to catch a glimpse if we look up and truly watch the sky.
Have you ever looked at the sky, i mean have you ever really looked?
It may be the only perfect thing on Earth.

A season of discovery

The seasons of discovery cover all space and time. You start to discover new things, places, sights and smells from the moment you are born. And continually throughout your youth you come upon discoveries that continue to shape you and your world. As we get older we start to lose sight of these discoveries and most of us don't realize the life lessons we learn daily until we sit back and take stock.
I've recently...well over this last year found myself in a season of discovery. I have started to discover things about myself and the people I have around me. I've noticed that during my life I have surrounded myself with people that I've put on pedal stools and looked at like they were stars in the sky. I've been completely and totally unhappy with myself. In truth, I don't think I've ever really loved myself. Not that I was ever told that I was ugly, but that's how I've felt...and not that I've ever been told I was unimportant, but that's how I felt. I've placed people around me that I loved me, but I've rejected the idea that they loved me. It surprises me, even today, that people call me. that they feel I am worthy of that time in their, oh so important day.
My journey has brought me to a realization, that I am worthy of being loved and being important to someone, especially myself. I used to wonder would anyone miss me if I died, would anyone care or even cry? The truth was I didn't know if I cared enough about myself to care if anyone else would. I look around at the people walking by or driving or even the people that I work with and think they have it so much better. That their experiences in this life are more valid than mine because they are more important. I have discovered that I need to love myself wholly before I can really experience and appreciate love from someone else. I'm totally lost in the craziness of life. And I've never let myself understand the gifts that I have. I've used my talents to get attention, that attention mocked me and trick me into thinking that I was important. My brain must have been wired wrong cause I could never tell when I was really being appreciated, not for my talent but just for being Melanie.
I can remember always wondering what other people thought of me, what they thought mattered more than what I felt about myself.
I've even questioned how much God loves me and if he ever even thought about me when there are so many more important people. I always thought my thinking about God was nuts, I've felt His presence...I've sincerely felt Him and He has comforted me...but still I felt unworthy of being called His child.

This year has opened my eyes to some of the ridiculous thinking and beliefs I've held my whole life. I've found myself sitting in the same body and brain with a different prospective. I can honestly say that I have people around me who love me, not because of what I do, or how I look or how I sound on Sunday morning, but just because I'm Melanie. I have people who want to talk to me on the phone just because they can. But the most important thing I know is that God is here and He loves me and calls me His. That's outstanding!
This season of discovery has brought me to a place of happiness and contentment. I'm excited about what the future holds for me and I'm looking forward to having a fantastic year. I'm not delusional, so I know that there will be days that those thoughts creep back in and when I'm feeling down I will fall back, but I also know that I'm proud to be me and me ain't so bad.

My Dreams

My Dreams


My dreams are filled with luscious skies of deep blues, purples and whites.
Cascading orchids shudder in the cold breeze between winter and spring
Dewy mist sweeps over the grass before my feet.
I feel the Earth well up under me bursting from the joy that hangs from the
Trees drops to the ground and bring me to me knees
There I lie in the beauty of this place with my arms
Stretched toward the sky, it precedes me and yet still follows
I chase the sun and the moon chases me
Awake, Awake ol my soul these dreams fill my mind,
My heart finds solace in my memories
Memories of life lived in my dreams.

My Hero

Memories of a life gone by
Strength, Passion, Commitment, Love.
His eyes alight with the simple pleasure of us,
His smile aglow at the sight of our faces
I never felt more loved then when he hugged me.
A giant of stature and presence he will always be that way to me;
Even when he fell I never grasped the concept of life without him.
To see him that way, I never thought to say goodbye, I only hoped
to see him again.
Peaceful, I don't know how, but I was peaceful and THANKFUL...
To know he was a hero to many, it makes me proud to call him...

GRANDPA (William "Bill" Benjamin Slayton, Jr.)

Lord of the Rings Marathon

Hallo Shire Folks,

Today Eden Grace and I had our second movie marathon day. The first one we had was last year and we watch the Harry Porter Movies, well today we watched all three Lord of the Rings movies and not just the theater versions either. We watched the extended versions of each movie. We've both seen all these movies several times, but thought that it would be great to just sit and watch them all back to back to back.
We started at 10 am with a brief breakfast and turned the first movie on at 10:30. We sat and ate popcorn, m&ms, pastries, chips and dip and we drank, water, soda and juice. My mom and brother watched the movies too, but they didn't sit with us.
Eden's favorite character in the films is Legolas and I really like Gandolf. Although Legolas is my favorite in the book and I'm partial to Elijah Wood out of character.
Our Marathon day went way into the night and we finished up at about 11pm. I didn't cry at the end of Return of the King like I usually do, but it was still good. We dropped Eden off and except for everyone involved having gas I think we had a great adventure in Middle Earth.

Thanks Mom and Dad for letting us take over the living room and and thank Randal for not eating all our food. Thanks to the Fenwicks for letting me steal their kid and thank you Eden for spending a great day with me.

Kids, oh my

Last week one of the kids I work with came running over to me sat down on my lap and said..."Miss Melanie, yesterday I was a fartin' machine!" Yeah apparently she had some killer gas the afternoon prior and she couldn't contain it. Aren't kids great.

Happy Thanksgiving

I just wanted to wish you everyone a HAPPY, HEALTHY AND SAFE THANKSGIVING. I hope you are spending this day with family and I hope you have things in your life you are truly thankful for. Don't forget to thank someone for being a great addition to your life.


Love ya

Next

If you know me, you know that I love to watch sports....Well most sports. I have a team in most every professional sporting league (except football), and I don't start watching the new season until my current season is over....For example. I can't watch basketball until NASCAR is done and I can't watch Baseball until Basketball is done and so on. Previously I showed you why I watch NASCAR. Well this past Sunday (11-19) was the last race of the NASCAR season, so now I must move on to my boys in Dallas. The Mavericks are my favorite NBA team. And I'm looking forward to a great season. Last year, we went to the finals and this year we're are taking the championship home. Now although we have started off kind of weak, I think we can make it up. I can't wait to actually sit and watch a full game.
The only thing is have to figure out is what I'm going to do in February when NASCAR starts again. Oh, that's gonna be tough.

My Cousin

My cousin is an amazing person who I love with all my heart. He’s beautifully flawed and wonderfully imperfect, yet my soul calls out to his on a regular basis.
I see him as I did when I was a little girl, but I know all too well that he is no longer the perfect cousin I remember. He is…himself a product of his environment, a childhood of inconsistency and lack of supervisor, where his only friends were the gang members that roamed the neighborhood and his only family hid lies in their truth. How would you blame a 14-year-old girl for getting pregnant when the only love she’s ever felt was in the moment that boy tried to get her in bed? So how can you blame a boy who was never told the truth of his life, when his family never accepted it?
His struggles are my struggles (to a degree), his choices are not my choices but my life has been peaches compared to his. His children symbolize hope and his tattoos symbolize his flaws. I know that if he could he would have chose something different and if he could he would have been able to say goodbye to those he loves, but at his best, right now he can only sit and await the next time he’ll come around.
I love my cousin and long to be near him, as any family member would. I see him as the boy who had everything, I wanted to love him and I did with all I had and still it wasn’t enough to hold him back from a life or disappointment and fear.
My cousin is beautiful inside and out but you may not notice it, his flaws are his own and he’ll own them all, but they all cannot be put on his back when some of the choices weren’t even his. I’ve learned from his life, and I’ve found that even when you have all from the outside inside you may still need. Yourself.

Work

Hey Everyone,

I just wanted to give you an update on my work situation. Things are really getting better. I had previously complained that I wasn't connecting with the kids and I thought it was just me and not the students. Well I was right! Over the last month, we have moved in 3 new people. My hours have changed, but I trust the people there now and I feel comfortable when I leave at 3:30 that the two adults in the room can actually handle anything the kids (or I) throw at them.
Now, I spend time with all the kids, morning and afternoon, where before I was just with the afternoon kids. I feel like my attitude has changed with the help of all my kids. Things are much better. I have to thank my direct co-workers for being so good too!
The above picture is of Charlie (my Assistant Supervisor) and Jadyn, I love this picture, it makes me happy, cause it's totally showing both their personalities. Thanks for the prayers.

Britney and Kevin

I'm sure you've all heard and probably don't care but the Federlines have called it quits. Actually Brit called it quits and Kevin is lost without her money.
I know divorce is bad, but I think its time for the old skinny, booty shakin, middriff showing Britney to come back and give us a new song so we can shake our bootays!
I just hope their divorce doesn't get dirty like Pauls.
Well until next time...

The reason I watch NASCAR...

Well, he's no longer the only reason, but he is a BIG PART of the reason that I enjoy watching and knowing everything about NASCAR. Ain't he somethin'!
Oh, by the way his name is KASEY KAHNE!

PEACE OUT

m

Easter 2006

Every possible road I choose to walk leads me to you, but my dirty hands are unworthy to touch you, so although your arms are outstretched, I turn down another road and choose to fight against an awesome pain.
My brow sweats as the sky above me darkens, my heart weeps for something, someone to save me, then, there you are, arms open but my feet are too muddy to walk along your streets.
So I back away and begin to run trying to find a way to be worthy...hours, days, weeks, months I journey and in my weariness I find you. Your arms extended but my clothes are to worn to stand in your presence. Ashamed I hide myself until I find away to leave you again.
I sin, lie, cheat, curse, judge, envy, steal and throw stones of hate. I’ve killed and before I know, there you are…
On the cross; beaten, bloody, bruised and broken. I run to you then realize my hands are clean, but yours are dirty
My feet and path are clear, but yours are muddy
As I fall to the ground my tears fall like the blood from your wounds
I shield my eyes from you, because there’s no way I can look upon Your face.

“I did this for you”, he whispers in my ear as he lifts me into his arms
“I’ve never left you”, he says, as He wipes my eyes , sets me on my path and leads me home.
“And I never will…”

Butterfly

Excuse my sadness there is nothing to see
I am but a butterfly, my emotions like the colors of my wings
See them flutter as I rise above all the mire
Wishful and free
Fearless and strong
I look delicate but can cut like the sun thru the clouds
Fly away to rest on God’s finger, my flowers sway as I pass
Bow before my wings
Brilliant in light
I am completely uncaptured
I am completely majestic
My sadness I take from you, as I pass
My life is to bring goodness to life
I bury sadness in the colors of my wings.

Pirates Adventure

Hello Everyone,


I have to tell you all about the Pirate's Dinner Adventure in Buena Park. You should all go, it's a good time of music, food, adventure, drinks and pirates. You will like everything about it or my name's not Melanie!!!!
I went to the Pirate Adventure for the second time this past Saturday. I went with eight other people to celebrate Amber and Paul's Birthdays and we had a great time. So let me tell you about this place.
When the doors open you come into a "holding room", which leads into the "Tavern (or as the show calls it) the governor's ball room"....There you'll find three bars and several appetizer stations. You will also find two souvenir shops (one big and one small). The doors open about two hours before dinner starts and about an hour and a half before the "show" starts. There's a stage in the tavern and there you'll meet the Princess and the Pirates. and of course the pirates are there to seek revenge by kidnapping the princess and stealing the treasure. As "invited guests" to the ball, you are subject to being kidnapped with the princess. From the tavern, you follow your pirate (all pirates have a distinct color, you are given a colored pass when you check in at the ticket booth), which will be introduced after the princess is carried away, into the main dining room which has a large ship in the middle, once seated....Let the games begin.
The show is great (if you're not too drunk to pay attention) you follow the pirates on board as they sing songs, play games and do battle against one another and you eat....You eat some darn good food. The servers are great and everything is super entertaining, you can cheer for your pirate, boo the others, sing along and clap. And when you leave, you can go back into the tavern drink coffee, eat more dessert and dance....dance, yes Kristi you can dance. All in all it's a rockin good time and I think everyone should go enjoy it. It is very cheesy, but we all need a good dose of cheese every now and then.
So....I give the Pirates Dinner Adventure in Buena Park to thumbs up and I hope to see you there soon.


Peace Out
m