Letting Go

   In order for me to move, to get up from that spot on the floor that I was so unwilling to abandon, I had to give up the things that I was holding on to. I had to give up people, relationships, beliefs, burdens and anger. I had to make the things that were keeping me down there to God. I couldn't hold on to them anymore...because they weren't good for me.
  
   As much as I wanted to keep them all it became very clear that they were only causing me pain. Why be angry when the other person has no idea? Why be hurt when they could care less? Why be...waiting, waiting for the day that they could feel the same thing you feel? There was no point, because I knew that none of these things would happen. Life moves on, and I was the only party who wasn't.
  One day God asked for it...all of it! He told me I didn't need it anymore...not as a security blanket, not as a lifeline, not as a weight. I needed to let it all go. Spring clean out my closet and let him take out the trash. So, I did just that...I gave him the things that I've been holding on to for years. The things that caused me pain and made me lonely.
   I can't say that I'm sad, because most of these burdens came to an end long ago, I just wasn't willing to let go. I can say that not having those weights around my neck has caused me to see the world and my life very differently. Slowly but surely I'm seeing that my life is better without holding on to what I don't need. I will always look back and think about all of those things...I will wonder and worry (cause that's who I am) but I won't go back to the place I was...it's not worth my happiness to give so much of myself and receive nothing back.

   To God be the Glory.