Am I Happy?

 This question popped into my head on my morning drive. It's hard to give an answer to such an important question. Why you may ask? Because I've never truly been happy. I don't know what happiness looks or feels like so I can't tell you (or myself) if I'm happy. I could sit and over think this question to death, but I'm not going to do that. I'm just going to simply finish the thought and move on with joy.
  I am happy...everyday, not all day everyday, but everyday in big and small ways. My happiness grows the more I understand who and where I am in the world. The more I listen to and rely on God's grace and guidance and the more I accept that the only thing I can change is me. For reasons only God truly knows I am in places where I have been far from happy, but He's also told me to find happiness everywhere I am, in all the things that I've been handed. That means I need to find happiness, even the smallest bit of it, in all my circumstances. I think (although it's really hard) that I'm doing just that. I'm happy. Work and home...my daily commute they've all in one way (or many) be very unsatisfying...but seeing what each one of these things has given me over the last year makes me happy. Because I would be in a completely different place if it weren't for them. They've all given me a piece of the puzzle to move me to where I am going so for those things I am happy and grateful! Not all day everyday, but everyday.
  I use to think that I had to wait for something to happen to me in order for me to be happy. I waited and nothing happened. I've finally realized that I am the only person who can find and bring my happiness to me. So, that's what I'm doing...I'm seeking out happiness and holding onto every moment of it. I don't want to sit in a sad little corner and continue a cycle I don't want to be in. So to answer this mornings question...

  I am happy...and its not even my own doing...it's God.
 
  Until Next Time,
   ~m