Babies, Babies and More Babies

 Saturday I went to a 1 year old's birthday party and it was the first time in a long time that I found myself wanting a child. There were babies and kids everywhere I turned and I just became overwhelmed with it all.
  I found myself wondering what it would be like to attend a family party in the park with my kids...wondering if I'd be fun or stressed. Worried or content or just crazed. I wondered what it would have been like to have a husband and my kids at that party. Wondering if I'd have kids who would have playmates their own age or if they'd be in the awkward middle area between big groups of my friends kids.
  Sadly, I brought myself back to reality I was at that party alone...no husband (or boyfriend) or kids in sight. It made the wondering and longing that much more promenate, much more potent and so much sadder. Today, 3 days later I'm still really sad about it.