Her Credibility?

  The following rant was brought on by a headline I just read. It's regarding the woman who was sent voice mails by Brett Farve. The headline read "Lawyer: Jenn Sterger's 'credibility is not up for sale in Brett Favre probe". I didn't read the article, but I'm going to comment on this trend of blaming the woman.
   Okay, I get it. Some women have 'Cried Wolf', some have lied to get money, revenge or just lime light and some still have lied just to satisfy something inside of them. But not every woman is a liar. Not every woman makes up stories to get her name in the paper or millions of dollars in hush money. Not all women are whores, who do one thing then call it something else later. So let's not treat all women that way.
    I've heard the voice mails, I've even read that he admitted to leaving them. So why would this young woman's creditability be called into question? Why, if she chose to not involve herself with this one man is she being put on the hot seat when she did nothing wrong in this situation? It doesn't matter if she was a virgin or if she slept with the whole team, she didn't want this one guy so now she has to be put on blast?
    This is the man thing to do! We see this man...one of the kings of his sport (who at the time of the voice mails was THE king) being rejected by some woman. So she must be doing this for some ulterior motive right? I don't know, I don't think so. But the questions are all thrown at her. No one has asked why this long married man and father was trying to get a much younger woman to come to his room. No one has asked or said that this is indeed sexual harassment. If all the information released is proven true then this is a case of sexual harassment...what then will society have to say...oh wait, I bet I know!
    They'll find every man this woman has dated, slept with or even had a passing glance at in a coffee shop. They'll get them all to talk about her like a dog and then they'll say (of course without using the words) that she's a whore and deserved to be treated this way. No, that's wrong...how can we flip a u-turn like that?When did the victim become the perpetrator? I understand being guilty in the court of public opinion but he is the one that should be guilty not her.

Thanksgiving

 Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and for so many families this is a day of love, respect and togetherness. For others, not so much....

  I come from the not so side of this equation. My family has never been one to have a calm holiday. Whether it's a drunken fight or an attitude run amuck. Things don't ever end on a good note. So as we prepare for the first Thanksgiving dinner at our house in almost a decade, I live in fear of the malice that will undoubtedly sweep through and land on me. With my stomach in knots and my expectations low I go into another Thanksgiving wishing I had to work.

To Sing or Not to Sing

 I've been singing since I was little. When you're little you don't know what you're doing is a talent...you just do it. So it wasn't until I was in 5th grade that I was told I could actually sing well. My dad, being a musician, could have told me this but he never did. (I think that has a lot to do with the fact that he doesn't see me, but that's another post). Instead a teacher informed me of my natural talent and he has been the person who, since the fifth grade, has encouraged and greatly influenced me in my singing journey.
  When I was 18 this teacher left his old church to become worship leader at a new one. He asked if I would come to the church to help with worship and for the next seven years that's what I did. But as a "spiritual baby" in the church I started to sing, not because my heart was right with God, but because I wanted the praise I got from others. My flesh craved the attention this talent brought me from the people around me. The admiration, the joy and the pride.
  A couple of years into my worship experience I went to a conference and took a dance class. The teacher told us we shouldn't accept the praise for ourselves but for God. After that I tried and failed repeatedly to reconcile my hunger for praise with what I knew in my heart was right. That I should be doing this for God not for myself. Over the years my ideals on worship began to change and my walk with God became ever increasingly strained. In the end I found a way to walk away. I got a job that required me to work weekends and I gladly took it and worked Sundays without a care in the world.
  After leaving that job I started to rebuild my relationship with God but I didn't go back to worship. In fact, I rejected it entirely. I felt put upon and guilted into it. The truth was I was jaded and unfeeling when it came to worship because deep down that's how I felt about God.
  I have this way of knowing that something I've given up is good for me when I don't miss it. In the almost 3 years of not doing worship I haven't missed it at all. So that tells me something!
  As my relationship with God has evolved my thoughts of singing have too. I no longer long to be in the spotlight or on the stage. I am content to sit back and let others do it. If I'm asked to help sing for a good cause I wouldn't hesitate to do it, but I'm not in any hurry nor do I want to do it regularly.

Young Men

  I see a young black man walking down the street and I prejudge him. It all depends on his clothing and the way he carries himself. Some I look at and think, he's going down the wrong path and other's I get the...I feel sorry for them. Why? Because I'm not the only person judging these young men.
  My younger brother, an upstanding man, who wouldn't intentionally harm anyone, is one of these young black men who people will judge based on a glance. He's never been in trouble, has a job, goes to school and church. By all accounts he's a fierce friend who is loved by all and still people will judge him because he's a black man.
  Young black men (not only in this country but all over the world) are looked at differently. Some with loathing, some with distrust and still others with shame. Do they deserve it? I have to ask myself this question because I too find that I clutch my purse tighter, check my car doors and sometimes even walk to the other side of the street when I see a black man coming. Why?
   I know why and yes, I'm ashamed of my behavior. I'm more ashamed because my behavior affects someone I love extremely. Someone I couldn't live without and I know that one day the general negative ideals that I hold are held by many who would do anything to hurt by brother, who is a black man.

Giving Thanks

Every so often I like to give a Thank You shout out to all the people who have been encouragements to me. 2010 has been a rough year for me emotionally and I have to Thank so folks who have really taken care of me when I needed it.


So to those of you mentioned below know that you friendship, kindness and love mean more to me than I could ever express. My heart is full of love because you have shown me that God provides love to His people from the most unlikely of sources when it's most needed.




Jacquie                                 Brooke                             Maressa


Kristen                                 Sam                                  Randy Sr.


Kristi                                    Danae                               Nate


Melissa                                 Kevin                               Rand


Mr. Randal                          Jennifer                           Norms




Thank You

Freedom

  I have this desire...this theme that, as of late, has continued to arise in my mind and thoughts the more I encounter the newness around me. It's not a new desire...it's a passion that I've always wondered if I should try to pursue. I'm thinking that I should. I think that I just need to hunker down and do what my heart is telling me to. I just need to dedicate myself to it. Throw myself into it and just live it everyday in every way possible.

  Whether something comes from it or not, this is something I need to do for myself. I have a feeling that this small thing will change me forever. I'm tired of making excuses I'm tired of settling for what other people expect of me. I just need to do things my way and not worry about it at all...

  Freedom, I see you calling me and I choose now to follow you.

To Trust or Not to Trust

 The number one way to lose my respect is to lie. That's it, if you lie to me I'm more or less done with you. I see no reason to have people in my life who are going to lie to me. I mean this in all aspects of my life...family, friends, church, work etc...everything. I see lying as the complete and utter lack of respect for the person you are lying too. Sometimes people say it's okay to lie...but I don't see it that way.


 I tend to be a good lie detector, if I don't know you're lying to me right away I usually figure it out quite quickly and I act according. I have dropped relationships and left jobs because I've been lied to. And again I find myself in this situation. Not only am I being lied to, I'm being lied about . That sort of thing is not healthy and I'm not happy about it. I think that being lied to part is because the person doing the lying doesn't have a real answer to give me. But the being lied about is the straw and the camels back has been broken.


 I don't know what my next move is because quite honestly I don't know what God what's me to do. I know what my human flesh, my heart and soul want, but if it's not in line with what God wants it's not going to work. So right now I'm weeding through the lies I've been told. Trusting that God has my back and that I'm moving on to bigger and better things. I can only pray and hope that this path is what and where God wants me. I believe that if he wants for me the same that my heart longs for then I will know it straight away.