You Can't Fight Her Battles

  You can watch someone drown, you can even try your best to save them...but in the end they have to make the decision to lift their head. This is what I'm going through now. I see a situation that is slowly destroying someone I love, but she is so stuck in her emotional dependency that she can't see the truth...she doesn't want to see the truth.
   It's easier for us to go through life believing the lies we tell ourselves. It's easier to believe the lie because we cannot handle the truth. So we take it and we love it because we need it. The lies we tell ourselves can lead to our own destruction and we'd happily allow it to happen just to save ourselves from pain. That's what I'm dealing with.
   A real husband wouldn't hurt you, a real husband wouldn't lie to you, a real husband wouldn't go live with another woman then come home to you and call you a crazy bitch for questioning his loyalty. A real husband wouldn't steal money from your momma and real husband wouldn't leave you for 7 months without a real explanation. But a liar would...a man who doesn't respect you or care about your feelings or want to be with you would do all these things. He would do these things, because he's trying to give you a hint. He's too cowardly to tell you he wants out so he sets up all this landmines hoping you'll see it. But when you do, you give him that chance to tell you what you want to hear...because he knows you well.
   He knows you'll give him your money, he knows you'll believe his lies and he knows that he can come home to you on a weekend (after avoiding you for a month) and leave you to go back to his new wife...the girl he married illegally without your knowledge....he knows this because knows that he's broken you and you won't fight it. He knows this because he knows that you'd give away yourself to keep him even if he is treating you like something on the bottom of his shoe. He know this because he knows you love the lie...because you need the lie.

   So I sit back and pray that you will open your eyes...my prayers for the truth to come out didn't work...because it did and you are still there with him. I pray that God will help you to see the truth and believe it. To open your eyes to this abuse and you convince you that you deserve better...because no matter what I say or what your mom says you only seem to think you deserve him.