New Year...big decisions

 In a few days, this year known as 2010 will pass into history and leave us at the brink of a new decade and year with endless possibilities. This newness really only lasts about a month and then the routine of life settles in and we become the sheep of old. We go on with work, church, partying, sports, friends, family and life! We break every resolution we've made and turn our back on the promises we try our best to forget. I know this because it happens every year and every year we pretend to feel bad about it then move on with whatever is in front of us.
 At the beginning of the month I started to think about the resolutions for my new year. I started to think about what I wanted to accomplish for myself. I looked inside myself and chose to be very selfish (I chose to do things that will benefit me above all, and if these changes benefit others then that's a bonus). I looked at myself and found what I don't like about me, my life, my relationships and the people I've gathered around me.
  So with all those things in mind, I've set off to make myself better, from the inside out. I've decided to try and make myself stronger mentally, emotionally and physically. I've decided to leave behind relationships that are more burden than benefit and to work on the relationships I once treasured but let slip away because of time, distance or overall laziness. I've decided to commit myself to being a person of my word and doing what I say I will do, when I say that I'll do it. Trying to be on time no matter what pain it might cause me. Try to be a better person for me and for the people I choose to share my life with.
  I sacrificed some relationships in 2010 because that's how I felt God wanted me to respond in certain situations. And in return he's blessed me with new ones...some wonderful, some not so much. I know that I have to continue to trust in God to guide me and to help me navigate through this big trail called life. I'm not expecting 2011 to be a breeze, but I hope to cry less and to wake up everyday happy because my soul is truly happy.
  I know that some changes are coming my way, I'm not afraid. I'm excited and joyful to know what the Lord and the world have in store for me. For once, I'm not afraid to walk out of my door and let the world see my face for fear that I'll get slapped. In the end, God has seen me through and given me reason to hope. That hope is carrying me into the new year. He's given me reason to love and that love has guided me through to places I never thought I'd be able to go. I realized this year that I have people around me who will love and care for me regardless of my mistakes, just because I am who I am. People who will take me into their arms and show me God's love when I really need it. It was God who put those people in my path and I know that I can lean on them when I truly need them.
  The biggest change for me will come with time and as always, I will trust in God to get me there. But this year of big decisions is going to be exciting and I simply can't wait for it to begin!