My New Favs

  I was going to write this post about my new favorite futbol couple, but the wind was all knocked out of me and I'll just keep this short and sweet.


   I LOVE Posh and Becks...but I think of them more as a celebrity couple than a futbol couple...but my love for them is not diminished in the least. My new futbol couple is Coleen and Wayne Rooney of England. He plays for Manchester United (Becks' old team) and the English National Team and she's a supreme shopper, journalist, TV presenter, design and new mom. She's got a wonderful sense of style and they are just so cute together.


   And they are my new Favs!

Why are Black People...

 I just did I Google search on Why are black....someone showed me this before and the whole "why are black people" thing was rigged...the first search help item was Why are black people so loud. But I tried it today to see if it's changed and it has...now the first one is Why are black people better athletes. But that's not the one that had me laughing...oh no. At the bottom of the list is "Why are black people afraid of dogs"...which when you think about it...it in some cases true, but not in general. For instance, I live in a house with black people who are afraid of dogs...I'm not...neither is Michael Vick.


 But it just seems funny to me, because well I've known quite a few black people that this applies to. Check it out for yourself!

Easy to turn the corner

 So, you wouldn't know joy without the pain and you wouldn't know the summit if at first you hadn't climbed the mountain. So, I wouldn't know the contentment I'm now feeling if it wasn't for the hole that filled my heart a few weeks ago.

  I talked about being mad at God. About how alone I felt, like He had abandoned me to myself and my uselessness. I even wrote a poem about it (I Am Alone) and here's the thing...I had to go through that valley...truth is I'm not sure I'm completely out of it, but I can see the road starting to ascend. It's going some place I can't see but I have to have faith that it's the place God wants me to be (oh and I'm rhyming).
  These periods in the valley happen...they happen to everyone who's walking along side God trying to live their lives the way He wants them to. I mean look there's a whole book in the Bible full of people going through the valley. It's called Lamentations! I don't think it surprises God that's these times happen, what may or may not surprise him is the way we react to our time in the valley. Do we remain faithful or do we run away from the one person helping us through? David (my biblical hero and the Man after God's own heart) had his fair share of peaks and valleys which he laid out side by side in the book of Psalms. We aren't bad Christians because we have rough days...were human.
   Jesus came down here to save us (from ourselves) and I also believe came so that He and God could truly understand what it's like to be human, to be created by perfection but to not be perfect. To have all these obstacles placed in front of us and know how hard it is to overcome or surrender to them. He knows how we feel, he understands that pain...that out of control, deep down sorrow that grips us one day and cannot be explained fully. He gets it and we know that even when we can't feel him he's there...yes maybe He's pulled away a bit, but He's there.
   I have a serious deep valley about once a year...that time when it even hurts to be thankful for the life I have, because it seems that everything in that life is wrong. But I come out of it...every time. I come back to a place where I know that God is near, loving and happy for me. Those times I can almost see Him. Those are the times I relish because those are the times when I'm not only content, but happy. Am I in that place right now? No, but I'm getting there...I'm content and that's the first step. I'm faithful and that's the biggest step I can take.
   I went from feeling isolated, alone and miserable to feeling pretty good about life....it's not perfect, but it's good and I'm thankful for it!

God by any other name

   Is God by any other name less than God? I've always wondered about this...and yes a lot of Christians are going to frown upon me for voicing this or even thinking about it. But in my curiosity and in my study of the Bible, God and Jesus Cristo I've come upon a question that I just can't shake.


  Is God by any other name less than God?


  I know there's a commandment in the Bible that says we are to put no gods before God. I know it, I understand it and it's easy to find the simplest things we can set up as idols around us. I'm not talking about idols, I'm talking about God.
  In Jr. High my teacher, Mrs. Go, told us that God meets everyone where they are. Most people hear that and think "spiritually", I like to think about it psychically. We know that man has been scattered across the world for ages. We also know that since the tower of Babel those men have spoken different languages and for a time couldn't communicate with each other. In all those languages, though there's always been God. We've always known who/what God is. So would it be so hard to believe that God revealed himself to people in a different part of the world, in their language...that He conveyed the story of Jesus' virgin birth and anguished death for the good of us all? And that these stories would/could be given to people in languages other than Greek and Hebrew?
   Here is where historians (and knowledgeable unbelievers would say that the story of Jesus was stolen from the "pagan" religions), but what if? What if the tales of Krishna, Mohammad, Horus...where just different versions of our Father, Son and Holy Spirit tales? What if these stories sprung out of God's attempt to meet people where they were?
   Now, I 'm not a Bible scholar nor am I a theologian and really I'm not the most knowledgeable Christian around, but I do feel like I have some of the same questions a non-Christian would have. Some of these question are dismissed because the theologians don't want to answer or simply don't know how to. Living in this world where the 3 major religions are a t war is the perfect (some would say worse) time to ask those questions...but it's ridiculously hard to get the answers.
   I'm sure someone is reading this thinking of all the differences between the religions...thinking I'm crazy for posing these questions...saying there's no way that these very different groups of ideals could have sprung from the very same fabric. Well, why not? People can take conjure and confuse the simplest thing into something that will fit everyone easily. So why couldn't it be the same with religion. The interpretation of the message will always be screwed up but who's to say the entity delivering the message wasn't the same?
   When we get down deep to the answers for these questions. When we put aside all prejudice, bigotry and superiority. When we exercise the powerful brains we have, then and only then we will find an answer, but until then my question remains...


    Is a God by any other name less than God?

Revelation

  I woke up this morning...thinking about a conversation I had the other day...about words that were used to describe a situation..."getting back to normal" all I could think of was, "God, I hope not". Because normal in that case wasn't exactly ideal. It was the perfect fairy tale life that people from the outside saw looking through the rose colored windows of that house. In truth, I think that after the nightmare of this past year, normal is what they should be trying to stay away from...then it hit me.
  The things that I've seen recently, the relationship trails I witnessed are just that. Trails I'm witnessing! You see, these aren't my relationships and though I know I'm not privy to all that goes on in these marriages (nor do I care to be) I did think I knew quite a bit. But still I'm on the outside only hearing one side of the story, forming my own conclusions and opinions on what I've seen and heard. Here's the thing...I'm wrong.
  I realize that I will never know the true inner workings of someone else's relationship. Therefore, no matter what I think or say my opinion, in the long run, doesn't matter! A few months ago I sent one of my best friends' husbands an email. I thanked him for the care he showed for her when she really needed it. You see I've never fully understood him, he and I have differing personalities so he's hard for me to read, but I just never viewed him as the wonderful man and husband he truly is. I didn't think he was bad...just, I don't know, maybe a little aloof? The response I got was really hurtful at the time, but now I understand it. He basically said, that from the outside I can never see whats truly going on on the inside. And though I was hurt, I had to respect him because, well, he was right (Randy you were right!).
  That's where I am now, I can't know...I can't know what a woman is willing to put herself or her children through. I can't know what a woman is willing to take and I can't know what a man is willing to settle for. In the relationships I've watched sink, I've seen different things. Things that I tell myself I wouldn't put up with...but when I get into a relationship, when I'm in the grind everyday and the unknown goods and bads...when I love that other person so much it hurts, what will I be willing to put up with? That's the question I have to tackle now. That's the question I have to be ready to answer when the time comes. 
   It's easy to sit back and play referee from the stands...and it's easy to be disappointed when you see someone give into what you think is the wrong idea. But what I think really doesn't matter.

NeedHim.org

  I guess you can say this is a non promotional promotion.

  Last night I saw a commercial for a ministry called Need Him. What got me were two things...(1) the commercial looked a lot like the Apostle's Creed video shown at my church and  (2) the wording used....specifically the line "this is not about religion, this is about a relationship". As you know (if you've been reading this blog for a while) I don't believe in the trappings of religion. I consider myself a Christian, but I don't trap myself in the box the "church" tells me I should be in, through tradition and here say, instead I believe in a relationship between God and myself.
   So it was weird and thrilling to hear the statement in this video, and though I haven't had much time to read up on this group. I can say that if they really are trying to help people build a true relationship with God then I can side beside them in that...though if they aren't, if they are just trying to build up another mega church full of people who really don't know what to believe, then I'm out!
   The fact that this commercial hit me in my gut makes me think that it's legit...but I've been wrong before. So, if you chose to go to the site and read up on this ministry, remember that I haven't condoned or condemned it. I'm just interested and thought someone else would be too.

Needy

  I wrote a great post about being needy on my phone the other night. It was wonderful (if I do say so myself). It was something I had been thinking about for a while and in writing it I hit all the points, made all the comments and was very well pleased with it. But I did it on my phone and even though I saved it...it's gone.

  So this wonderful piece of writing I spend time on is gone and no one will ever know how I feel about needy acquaintances who zap you of all your strength then don't return the favor doing your needy time....

  Oh well, I guess it just wasn't meant to be!

Weirdness

Look around seeing nothing in everything before me
Life seems to get smaller as the world becomes more consumed by itself


The fancy eats the shabby, unless it's chic and we watch while kids cry behind us
This place isn't what it's supposed to be, this is just crazy


Hiding doesn't take away the fear of the unknown
Something is lurking just over the horizon and it's terrifying


Wonder how long it'll take before everyone wakes up to the dark
Blinded by the nothingness we've projected onto ourselves


Torture, tortured...what are we, animals?
Moving slowly, creeping, trying to out stalk the stalker


But we fail in our purpose as our ADHD washes over us
Steering us into a different direction away from safety and deeper into the dark


Washed in the fire we've created
Doubting the subjects we've out our trust in


Summoning the strength we're too lazy to use
Trying to control a world we've allowed to get outta hand


The old wish for the "good ol' days"
The young wish for money and fame


What are we doing? Who are we fooling?
Only ourselves, only the fools we've come to be


Chasing a dream we can't truly fathom
We've sunk into the darkest of deeper holes...


Only a miracle can get us out!

The Duggars

I've recently become extremely fascinated by the Duggar Family(These are the people with 19 kids, they also have a show on TLC called 19 Kids and Counting)! I don't know why really, I guess, just over time, after hearing so much about them, I just decided to look them up and see what the big deal was all about.

Well, the big deal is their big family. Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have 19 children, their youngest was born premature (and only 3 months after their first grandchildren) in December. That's a lot of children, more than I could ever wish to have but hey, they believe that God will provide them with as many children as he sees fit for them to have and really their hearts, minds and souls seem to be in the right place. I can't begrudge them anything because they are doing the best thing for their family and (as it seems from the show) they are raising some great people!

Over the years I have read and heard of people being upset that these two adults are having so many children. Well in this day and age more than 3 is a ridiculous amount to some and to others it's just the start. I do have to say that when I first heard about them I thought the same thing, but I wasn't angry or upset...I just thought "hey, that's a lot of kids and why would someone put themselves in that situation". I do have to say that like any tax paying American citizen I thought of the financial burden these people most be on the country. Then I read their story.

The Duggars have a website (http://www.duggarfamily.com/) which tells their story and why they've chosen to have so many children, how they support their family and are completely debt free...yes, debt free! They don't owe anyone any money and they are raising their children to follow suit. So are these people...Is this family putting a strain on the tax payer, Nope! Not like other recent news makers with a lot of children, these two adults are living their dreams with their boat load of children without costing me a dime. Yes, that's a selfish way to think about it, but it's true.

So, why am I so fascinated? I'm still not sure. I don't know if it's the debt free living or the homeschooling or the amount of children...or if it's the seemingly simple life the lead, in the midst of having 19 children. Maybe it's some of it, or maybe it's all of it. I know one thing...when I'm done watching an episode of their show I have a smile on my face. It does my soul good to see so many happy faces and two parents who love all their children and are doing the best they can for them...especially in a world where parents don't always care about the children they bring into the world.