Ipod/Itunes

The Ipod/Itunes situation at my house is outta control. My mom and I are the only two people with Ipods, but my parents don't really know how to work Itunes. In fact, our Itunes has been down because my dad did something while my ipod was syncing and I had stepped away from the computer. So although the itunes interface works (I can still import music and charge and sync my Ipod) we can't get onto the Itunes site to buy and download new music. I've known this for about 3 months and tried to get it working again, but it doesn't. My dad only found out about it last week and has been freaking out ever since. Because of what he did all their music is gone! And they can't get it back cause they can't get on the site to do so.
So last night my dad asks me if I still had his music on my Ipod....he used my ipod for jury duty, he broke the headphones and refuses to replace them, now even if I did have his music still, I wouldn't let him use my ipod again, so what he could break something else?
When I told him I didn't have it, I mentioned that they could still import music onto the itunes interface, he decided (after sitting in the car blaring his music and disturbing everyone!) to add a Michael Jackson Cd to his interface. Well, my Ipod was charging at the time and when he opened up Itunes it started to Sync. I caught what he was doing and tried to get over there before he could ruin my Ipod and I thought I caught him, but I didn't! He noticed that all my music was on his screen and asked me why, I told him because he let it snyc, so all my stuff showed up on his screen....
Fast forward to this morning, on the shuttle from the parking lot to the park, I took out my Ipod and got ready to listen, only to find out that all...I repeat ALL my music is gone. So what am I supposed to do, I leave on vacation in 4 days and I don't have anytime to replace my music if its totally lost...I'm so mad!

Now my dad is saying that I erased all the music, I did erase my music from his interface screen, but I had already unplugged my Ipod, because he was messing stuff up. So again he's messed up my Ipod and it's my fault. It's ridiculous but he just doesn't get it...cause "he knows what he's doing", yeah right!

Harry Potter, July 2009

So, here are some things you should know about me....(don't worry I'll get to the title of this post soon enough).
I'm the oldest child of Randal and Shirley Slayton, my parents have been together 31 OR 32 years. I have one sibling named Randal Jr. and I've lived and gone to school in East Los Angeles, Boyle Heights, City Terrace all my life.
I sing and write and make a fool out of myself on a regular basis and I love the people around me, even if I don't tell them enough. I wouldn't allow you in my life if I didn't love you! I love to listen to music...some of my earliest memories involve music, because my father is a musician. I love to read and I love to watch movies.
Reading and movies are the same thing to me...if a book is done right, while you read it, there should be a picture in your head continuously playing out what you read like a movie. It should take you away from the place you are and transport you into the world the author has created. In that same token, a movie does the same thing. I love movies because I can be completely lost in a world I don't belong to. Sometimes its an epic adventure, sometimes its heartache, sometimes love. But all these things are wonderful stories that sweep me away to a place where nothing else matters for a short amount of time.

Some of my favorite books have recently been turned into movies....Lord of the Rings, Twilight (which is a new favorite, but still I couldn't put the book down) and of course, the Harry Potter Saga. I learned with LOTR that I can't be disappointed with a movie version of a book, I have to learn to appreciate it on a separate plain. It's different and that's okay, as long as the director is trying to stay true while, trying to deliver his/her best work.
I love the LOTR Trilogy and am grateful for the work Peter Jackson did on it, and for the fact the he tried to stay as true as possible while also trying to deliver a great film/s. Even though my love for the Harry Potter Universe runs as deep as the world of Arda, I am not quite so in love with all of the HP movies like I am with LOTR.
I understand that WB couldn't hire the same director to do all 7 (or 8) HP films, but I do question some of their choices. For Prisoner of Azkaban, WB hired Alfonso Curion, who had won great acclaim for his work the year before, but it seemed to me like he took the previous movies and book and threw them out the window turning the HP world into a horrible reinterpretation of itself. He jacked up the timeline and confused people, even those of us who read the book! Even though his misguided attempt made money, I am sad to say that I refuse to watch the movie when it's on. That is my least favorite HP movie, but it seems like later directors took their lead from that third film and started building theirs on top of the shady foundation. A joke I think, even though the material does get darker, big things changed that just don't make sense (I'm not going to get into them cause this is already long!).
Now, I don't agree with everything done in the movies, but I do plan my year around when the next HP is coming out (I know, it's sad). This year there where only a handful of films I knew I wanted to see when we rang in the new year....

Prince Caspian
Wanted
The Dark Knight
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

You all now that I was upset that I hadn't seen a trailer, but rejoiced when I finally did. Now I hear that the last movie of the year (beside twilight) that I wanted desperately to see has been pushed back to July 2009! The blame is being put on the write strike! But I think that just a bunch of crap! It's about the money. The WB has made enough money to cover the misguided and horrible Speed Racer, The Dark Knight and now Harry Potter.
They have made the money back that they spent on those films and now don't feel like they need to put Harry out now, save to make money next summer. Well that sucks, you can't have one of you two biggest franchises list for a year as coming out a certain day, give us fans a trailer and then say "Well you know, maybe next year!" This isn't the world series this is even more important especially to people like me, who go to the movies and enter a world to lose themselves and forget about their troubles.
I'm so disappointed!

Pissed off

As you know I work in the Guest Research Department at Disneyland, which means I conduct surveys throughout the resort. And I although I can't tell you about them, I can use some terminology that you help you understand how we do things.
We have entrance surveys, roaming surveys and exit surveys. Today, I had the privilege of being at work ay 6:30 am, in order to conduct "special" morning suvreys while roaming around the park.
Well, while I was roaming, the other 4 people preforming this task with me weren't, no they (against direct instructions from the manager) stood in one or two spots the entire time. While I was walking around a good portion of the park getting rejected, they were grabing people easily off of rides and as they got to the end of main street.
Needless to say I didn't get anyhwere near the amount I was supposed to, and it made the start of my day that more terrible.

Reviews (Olympic Edition)

So did anyone watch the opening ceremony for the Olympic Games on Friday?
I did! And I want to put on my two cents into the review mix!

The Chinese did a fantastic job! (the base word for fantastic is fantasy, and in order to really use the word properly you have to be alluding to fantasy type imagery and I am). It was so perfect, so precise, so beautiful that it was like something from a dream, something magical!
My favorite part was the opening drum sequence (if you didn't see it live, find it on You Tube, amazing!) there were 2,008 Chinese men playing ancient Chinese drums that lite up, in unison while chanting...and when I say in unison, I mean in UNISON!, if one hand went up so did all 2,007 other hands. Absolutely breathtaking!

The whole thing was beautiful, the colors used, the way it was choreographed the imagery used; everything was amazing, it gets my highest review, if you didn't see it, find it it's worth it, trust me!


Well until the next review! Btw, I haven't reviewed "The Dark Knight" because I haven't seen it yet, yeah I know, but I'm not the last person on earth who hasn't seen it yet...I know two others who haven't seen it either.

Vulnerability

I was just watching this movie called "In the Land of Women", the mother in that movie gets breast cancer and they show her in the hospital with a head scarf on talking to her daughter. It brought me back to a moment in my life where I felt completely helpless...a moment I've never spoken about before.

When I was in High School, 10th or 11th grade, my mom had to have surgery...it was major surgery and she was in the hospital for a few days. I knew she was having the surgery and both she and my dad told me it was routine and okay. Ultimately she was going to be fine, but she needed this in order to be healthy. I understood and went about my life as normal, I understood the seriousness of it all but wasn't really concerned because I trusted my parents. I trusted my parents, but was not completely prepared for the moment I saw her laying in the hospital bed.
I don't know how most people feel when they see their parent/s at their most vulnerable moment, but for me it was so shocking and sickening that I didn't know if I should cry or scream.
I walked into the room and saw my mother in a way I had never seen her before, a way I never want to see her in again! She was disheveled, weak, hooked up to machines and barely able to move. I remember she had a morphine drip for the pain, which terrified me, because even then I knew morphine was not something you messed with. But how much pain could she be in if the doctors put this in her?I asked if she could become addicted, but was assured that she wasn't getting enough to cause any trouble.
We sat in the hospital for a couple of hours with her until we had to leave. I held myself together, but closed into myself, I couldn't handle the reality I saw...that someday my mother, my strong, loving, invincible mother...wasn't invincible and one day I would be in this world without her. One day she would die. It was a daunting thought and I've never been the same since that night. I had already had several traumas in my life by that point, but I think that this one opened my eyes to the world I didn't see. I think that in a lot of ways I became an adult that night. An unwilling participate in a world where my mommy wouldn't be able to protect me forever.
And still, now more than 10 years later, I'm still fighting against that ache in my heart and that memory in my head.

Like a Train Wreck

Hey All,

I few months ago I told you that I decided not to waste my time on reality TV anymore. Well, that was before I learned that two out of my four favorites of all time were coming back.
Yes this summer Sunset Tan and Dog the Bounty Hunter are returning to TV.
Now, I know what you're saying, "DOG? Really? That Dude's a racist"...maybe so, but that doesn't really surprise me, if you know anything about his background you could see that there was always potential for that kind of behavior. I'm not condoning it, just saying you can't deny it and I can't deny the fact that I LOVE THIS SHOW and his crazy family. Just the sure "white trashiness" of it all makes it so much more wonderful!
Then there's Sunset Tan, which is pure trash and I love every heart numbing moment of it. It started off like a true car wreck, I watched it, thought it was stupid, but couldn't take my eyes off it, it's been off the air for a year and a half and now it's back, I'm soooo happy!
So, I guess this post is to tell you all that I have gone back on my word I will continue to watch some reality TV, but only two shows....until Real Housewives of the OC comes back...then there's 3

It's amazing sometimes how the people around you see, hear and watch you more then you know and they figure you out. Sometimes they come out and surprise you with this knowledge when you least expect it.
My best friend is like that. I was lying on my bed thinking about something she said to me that really surprised me because it was something that I personally would have never thought about myself, but deep inside knew I needed. She does that kind of stuff all the time and it always surprises me. It's rare that you find that kind of person in your life, but I'm so glad that I have them. Yes, them !I have no than one of those kind of people in my life.
It good to know that when you think you're invisible to the world, you really aren't!

It's the Simple Things

I'm sitting at my best friends house and while we were watching Harry Potter I started to think about different adventures we've had over the years we've known each other. We've done tons of things....got drunk in TJ, sought out thrills at Magic Mountain, gone to countless dinners and on countless mall trips and we've even gone to the spa together. But I think my favorite time together was just this year. After not seeing each other for about a month Amber invited me over for lunch and we just sat in her kitchen ate lunch and talked. It was simple but it was special, just a moment with a friend. No expectations or distractions and when it was over I felt refreshed and reenergized! It was one of those days that I will always remember because of the way I felt. It made me feel good.
What I'm trying to say is, you don't always needs big events to have a special moment with someone, sometimes it happens when you least expect it and you still don't realize it, until like me, you are sitting in a room and thinking back on the moments of your life.
If you do have these moment cherish them whether in the moment or in hindsight. Those moments are the great ones!

If LA is Rocking...

...call and make sure all your peeps are okay...well are ya?

The Twilight Series

On July 15th, I added a post called "READING". I mentioned in that post that I was currently reading a book called Twilight. Well it's the first book of the series by that same name. I just finished (well about two hours ago) the third book of the series which is titled Eclipse.
Three books in Exactly two weeks, that's the fastest I've read pretty much anything (expect the last to HP books). I probably would have read the books in a week if I had access to them back to back, but I had to wait a week to borrow Eclipse and a day or two to buy New Moon, which is the second book.
I'm really enjoying the books and the characters and can't wait to see what happens in the last book, Breaking Dawn, which is being released on August 2, 2008. I do have to wait for a while, but my bro just bought it as an early birthday gift, so I'm expecting it to be delivered next week sometime.
I'm excited and happy that I've found books that can keep me intrigued and "tuned" in. Can't wait til next week!

Ask and you shall receive

The trailer for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is now online...and I figure out how to upload it on here so here's the link....enjoy!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwNpg_xj6ck

When you're hurt and you don't know what to say

Sometimes you get hurt by someone and you don't really know what to say to them. If you're anything like me it all comes out wrong anyway and you end up lashing out and hurting that person. For me, sometimes all I need is to sit back and rely on myself for a time. Ignore the person/people who I've been hurt by.

That's what I'm going through. It's tough being hurt, but even tougher when the people/person who hurt you is the person you'd usually be able to confide in.

Harry Potter and the Half blood Prince

As some of you may know, I ADORE the Harry Potter series...although I wasn't allowed to read them in some peoples company (Momma Maria). So every year I look forward to either a new book or movie. And well as most of us know the Harry Potter story came to an end last summer, but we still have some movies to look forward too.

Warner Bros., well at least this is what the HP fansites said, put out a press release saying that the new teaser trailer for HP/HBP would be out with the Dark Knight. I can understand that, i heard from some that they saw it and from others that they didn't (go figure). But for the life of me, I can't find anything about it on line and the WB hasn't put up the new site either.

I know I'm jumping the gun a little, but come on, the movie comes out in November, I NEED something to get me through til then...my next major movie fix is HARRY. And I'm stating to get all itching...it doesn't help that I've run into a snag with the summer reading, but only until Saturday!

Oh, I guess I just have to wait!

Reading

I'm reading again, right now I'm reading this book called Twilight. It is the first in a series of 4 books called the "Twilight Series", it's about Vampires (one of my all time favorite subjects...although this is the first book about them I've ever read).
Twilight is very much a girls book, it's about an awkward teenage girl going to a new school in a town she's fairly familiar with (her dad lives there). And she stumbles across this boy who she can't help but fall in love with. I just read this very intense moment that all girls, at sometime in their life, wish for. Where you are finally told (and in return you tell) what true feeling are flowing between you and how incredible it all is, without being overly sexual or cheesy just really special and quite poetic!
I'm really captivated by it, I started reading it around 6:30 yesterday evening and I'm almost done with it...I read it on every break I had today and basically every time I wasn't on stage or didn't have to pay attention to my boss. I'm taking a short break to do laundry and some Internet stuff, but then I'm going straight back to it.

I love reading, but it's been difficult to stay focused on a book lately. A former co-worker who wrote and published a novel sent me her book to read and I got about halfway and then faded, not because it wasn't good, I just wasn't in the right head space for it. I wasn't completely drawn in because I didn't allow myself to be. I was still more interested in what I had recorded on my DVR when I got home from work then what I in was reading. But when I'm done with this book I am going to restart that one and then I have one more that another friend suggest I read before I move on to the next book in the Twilight Series. I can't wait, but I need to finish the other books first, it's just the right thing to do and now that I'm back in the mood for reading I can't get enough books....


So if you have any suggestions for books I might be interested in just suggest them. I like fantasy (Harry Potter...well he kinda changed my life, Lord of the Rings) and girlie books (in her shoes). So anything like that. Dude, I just remembered...I also am intending to read Mists of Avalon and The Vampire Chronicles...it's gonna be a good summer for reading. I'm excited.


Until Next Time....

Writing

I miss writing, I write on here all the time but it's not really writing...it's actually typing. Computers effect my everyday life now more then they ever have. Even when I was working in an office working on a computer all day I still had to write. I was writing constantly. There was always a pen in my hand and a notepad nearby. But now, it's different.

I don't work within an office but I do work with an computer all day. I work with a computer in the field. If I write it's to remind to me write a note about my computer for the tech department. It's not fulfilling enough to satisfy my my need to write. It's seem that without that pen in my hand I haven't really had the need to express anything creative either.

I used to be able to sit and let things flow out of men through my pen onto paper. But now, I'm just stagnant, there's nothing even remotely creative trapped in my mind with the need to come out of me. It's sad really, it's a blank emptiness that I don't seem that get rid of. I'm lost without this part of me and frankly, I don't see an end to it.

I love my job, but I'm starting to wonder if it is causing me to lose part of myself.

I started to really focus on this blog right around the time I stopped writing in my journal. I guess I view this space as a journal, although i tend to sensor some things I write about because of those who read it. Maybe if I start writing in my journal again I will find myself more content in the my creative side.

I don't know, I'm just talking right now. I'm talking to hear myself think, not really for anyone else. Isn't that what this whole blog thing is about anyway. I have no clue who really reads this, so I just write. More to get my opinions out of me because sometimes I just can't seem to hold them in and sometimes I just don't have anyone to share them with.

Movie Reviews...

It's been a while since I've reviewed a movie and rightfully so....

First, I have to give you the background on this post. I started to write this last week about 45 mins after seeing Wanted. I started off by going on and on about seeing Indiana Jones and how disappointed I was and all this hogwash about rewatching the originals and being bored with those too. Then I started in on Wanted...I was writing this all on my phone and because I was walking down a hill and holding my phone awkwardly, I ended up turning it off and unfortunately lost the whole thing...so this is a new version.


Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

All I have to say is that I want my 8 bucks back!


Wanted.

Kicks butt. You all know that I love Angelina Jolie and I'm falling in love with James McAvoy! This is the perfect film for him to really kick start his career in the US. It's fast paced, smart and well...mind blowing. I wasn't bored (like during Indy) and I appreciated all of the special effects even though I knew every bit of it was impossible. I didn't care that they were bending bullets and flipping cars and all that because I was strapped in for the ride and enjoying it all.
Some may not get it cause it's too much this and too much that and very unbelievable, but a good movie is supposed to take you out of your world and put you squarely in someone else's. Sometimes when I watch a movie on the big screen my own thoughts and life sneak in a pull me away from the story, but that did not happen at all during this movie. And that for me is outstanding.
So if you haven't gone to it Wanted yet, then go ahead and do it...you won't regret it!

Ipod Troubles

I was about to come on here and complain about my Ipod and how I have been having problems keeping it charged as of late. And how I thought I'd finally figured out the problem and that it stood charged all day yesterday but when I picked it up this morning and tried to play it, it was dead again.

That's what I was going to say, but after plugging it in to charge I realized that I had accidentally but it on lock so I couldn't do anything to it and it would look and act dead. Oh well, I'm a dork.

Lord of the Rings

So, I was in the midst of a Lord of the Rings marathon...but I had to give it up...I started watching the extras (I have the special edition versions of each movie...4 discs each, two for the movie, two for extras) their fantastic and even though I've seen them at least 50 times, I still have to watch them.

Then I found out today that my lovely friend Kristi is having a LotR themed birthday party...FANTASTIC...I'm not sure if I can go but I know it'll be wonderful.!

Dropping Friends and Making Enemies

Over my short 28 years of life I have learned that I don't do well with toxic people in my life and although I do believe that God orchestrates who comes in and out of your life at certain times I think he does it to teach us lessons.
After we learn the lessons needed we may lose touch or get too preoccupied on our new season of life that we don't talk as much as we used to. But then in some special cases there are those that you specifically choose to abandon by the wayside because you know nothing good can come from a continued relationship with that person.
I see all relationships as a dialogue, an open conversation that should not be one sided, but can be shared between two people where honesty and good will are coveted. Where you want the other person to be honest, even if you don't like what you hear you expect and even crave that type of relationship.

I have realized that over the last few years I have been unconsciously taking stock of my life and my relationships with people. And as I look at it, my life, the way it is now, I have found that I have slowly started to move away from some friendships. Some because of time and distance (although I still try to communicate with those people) others because I no longer crave them in my life the way I once did and then still there are some that I realized are toxic and had to remove them from my life and completely give up the relationship.
Sometimes I look at those friendships and I'm sadden by the end result of such a potentially satisfying dialogue...I'm sad because I am scared or because I see that people are running into situations that aren't healthy and don't want help to step away from them. Also, I'm sad because some of those friendships failed because of pain, blame and the unnerving fact that sometimes people just can't say I'm sorry.
I'm never intentionally went out to hurt or harm anyone. When I give I give my all, but once you lose my respect you lose me. It's hard to get that back and most times I'm not willing to try. But even though I say this, I understand that I am also to blame for broken friendships. Generally when I'm hurt I run away, I don't want to set myself up for the pain again and I stay away from the people who hurt me. And when I try to help someone and I'm rejected I react in the same way...not usually at first, but over time...because I don't want to be there dump rug...
There are people that I've pissed off recently, I may have hurt them, but selfishly, it's for my own good. They've found others to replace me and will be fine. My season in their life, with this friendship is over. I'm okay with that and if they hate me...that's fine too.

Graduations and the heat...

Last week I went to two Graduations...the first was for my little sister Danae who graduated from Sierra Vista High School. She walked across the stage to thunderous applause and yelling from those who love and our very proud of her.
She will be attending Cal State University Los Angeles in the fall. Good luck Danae!

The second graduation I attended was for my friend Sam-Ana who graduated from Cal Poly Pomona with a Master's Degree in Education. She got a light blue hood and a black cap and gown...and we all applauded as she walk out of the tent holding her newly earned degree.
Working full time, being a wife and mother and going to school is truly aspiring and awesome.


I'm at work today. And its hot....in fact its been hot all week and it will continue to be hot....its crazy that's its already this hot and its only the 3rd week of June. My summer will be interesting, hopefully we don't have any record days this summer like we did last summer. At this point, I have a feeling I will be dark and possibly melted by the conclusion of summer 08.

I hope you all are staying cool and congrats to any graduates I don't know about.

Okay

So, it looks like I am back to working days (for the most part), for the next two weeks I have NO nights shifts and I hope that I don't get anymore any time soon.

I took my braids out and got a cute new hair cut, not as short as I would have liked, but it looks good so I need to get a picture up so you can see it.

And, last but not least...I'm going to Idaho this summer....I will be in this town called Louiston. Why am I going there you ask....well I'm going with some friends to visit their parents but they move back to Los Angeles. It's gonna be fun....we were gonna drive but I think we might fly instead....it'll come out to about the same price in the end...unless gas...I can't talk about gas it makes me sad. I love you all my Ventura Folks, but I fear I may never see you again cause I can't afford to drive up there! : (

I gotta go to be, have to be up by 5am! Yikes, that's the bad thing about working days when you're job is 27 miles away and you have to be there by 7:45am! Yikes....to bed with me!

So...

Last Friday, I had the opportunity to spend the day with the Main manager for my department at work. It was technically the final training day and he conducts it. We basically learn how our jobs effect the resort as a whole and why our work is so important.
I was excited about the whole thing until I found out who else would be participating in that day of training. It didn't turn out as bad as I thought but the people I knew would make fools of themselves did. I'm just glad it wasn't me. I made sure that I separated myself from them and I didn't look back.
In the end it was an exciting day, I had a lot of fun and learn alot. I already knew how much I enjoyed my job, but now that I know exactly how my work effects Disney directly I can take that much more pride in it!

Sorry I can't go in detail, but I had to swear an oath not to tak about the day and I won't anymore.

Lazy People (I'm totally venting)

So I can positively say that I work with a bunch of lazy people. Not all, of course, but a few of them are very lazy characters who don't really like to work and try to get away with as much "downtime" as they possibly can. Its upsetting to me because they try to get me to "lazy" around with them and think that I'm mad when I choose to actually complete why work before I go sit down.
Why do people hound you about how you're feeling when you stop talking and choose to actually put your nose to the grind and do your job, when your tired of hearing them talk and you just want to be alone with your thoughts? I think that's my number 1 pet peeve, people who have to ask you 20 times if you're okay just because you're standing by yourself or you're not saying anything in the conversation, just leave me alone. I will talk when I choose to talk, until then I am choosing to be silent and still and introspective.
I just wish some people would get a clue!

I found something to talk about...

Inappropriate commercials!!!!


There are some things we don't need to know, and some we don't care to know. At times people in our lives choose to share "too much information" with us and we either accept it or call them on it. Those are friends, but sometimes we hear, see or are told things that we just don't need to know. And there's nothing we can do about them....I'm talking commercials!

Have you ever been watching a television show one minute and the next you're watching a woman talking about her period and tampons or see two people about to get it on advertising for KY Jelly. Or finally (my personal favorite) two old folks giving each other the "eye" or sitting in bathtubs side by side holding hands. These are images that I'm sure help people but not all of us need or want to experience them.

I don't want to know about Viagra, Cialis or any other erectile dysfunction medication. I don't need to think about old folks doing it. I'm sure the men don't care to know about all the symptoms that come with a period and how to get rid of them. This is why we have friends, mother, fathers and Doctors, those people are here to help and share information with you about these types of things.

I wish advertisers would help by not putting these commercials EVERYWHERE, but its their job and its our job to watch, I have to admit, I have gone out and purchased new things because of these types of commercials, but most times when they come on, I just change the channel!

Stuck

I haven't written in awhile because I have again found that I have nothing to say. Nothing that I find important enough to share or that I fell comfortable sharing because, frankly, when you put something online it can fall into the wrong hands and haunt you forever.
Its a new month, summer is almost here. I hope all is well with you. Have a good day!

Think about it

Have you ever been asked to do a survey, or been approached by someone working at a mall kiosk? Have you ever been waited on in some form or fashion? How did you treat that person? What do you think that person felt when you left their presence?
I once was told that if you learn your server's name (at a restaurant) it'll go along way, maybe not for you, but definitely for them.
I work in a place where customer service is the call of the day, whether you're being yelled at or spoken to like a human being, you have to give the customer the benefit of the doubt. The job I have can be fun and easy or depressing and difficult, depending on the day. But the lesson I learned years ago has now fallen onto the other foot.
People can be rude and downright mean sometimes, but I can take it with a grain of salt. I figure if they're that way to me, at Disneyland, then they have bigger problems then I have time for anyway. But I've also realized that the people who aren't willing to listen are the people who complain the most.
This is a me, now generation (world). We want things now and we don't want to hear otherwise. I'm that way too, at times, but this job has taught me so much. I chose my job, I could have gone anywhere, but I didn't. I'm not complaining its just the truth. I don't regret my decision, but there are some out there who in this time of economic woe and maybe a lack of experience can't find anything else. Those are the people I want you to think about. The teenager at the mall who may be there because they have to help pay family bills, or the old man asking you to take a survey because he HAS to work in order to pay for his medication. These are real stories and these stories and people shouldn't be ignored or overlooked.
Now with all that said, I can understand if you don't want to take a survey or if your food was cold or if you got over charged. But really do you have to be rude, there could be circumstances beyond any one's control at play in that situation. Take a breathe and think about what you say and how it may effect the person you say it to. Your waitress may be a single mom just holding her family together, that person doing survey may have just lost their child and is still grieving.
Most of us greet you with a smile and add a thank you at the end, even if your rude, but please try not to be. Remember everyone has a story, just because yours is different doesn't make it more important. Try to be kind to the world and some if not most of the world will return that kindness. And if all else fails just think....

WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?

I'm a Prude

I've never done drugs, didn't drink until I was 21 and was never around people who did either. So as an adult these things are slightly foreign to me.
I will have an occasional drink with my best friend, but as far as drugs are concerned they're like something I've only see on the news.
So when I hear people my age or younger talking about the drugs they do (currently), I'm baffled and I'm kinda disgusted. There's a certain time in your life when you should grow up and start acting like an adult. A time to leave childish things behind and own up to the fact that you can't do those things anymore.
I, frankly, don't understand the appeal of drugs. I can't fathom, wanting to feel out of control, setting yourself up for a situation you may not be able to handle or protect yourself from.
To me its just too big a risk to throw all things away (and spend my money on) some "high" that may last only a couple hours. I have more important and productive things I could be doing.
I'm sure, I will never understand it and will always be disgusted by the way some people nonchalantly walk their way from high to high without concern for the bigger picture. But that's just me...I guess.

Nothing to write about

I've been sitting at the computer for a few hours...neglecting everything else I should be doing to try and figure out what I wanted to write about here in this blog. But I have yet to come up with a goo idea. I know that in a few hours when I am no longer able to get on the computer I will come up with a great topic, but right now I'm stumped.

Alright, I'm gonna go take a shower, eat, watch TV, or wash the dishes...maybe all of the above!

Just letting you know

I've recently got a couple people asking me how to comment on here. Well, here's how you do it.

You do not have to have a blogger page or have to be signed up on this site. All you do is click on "comments" under the particular post you want to comment on.

Then type your comment in the box to the right

On the bottom there are several choices you can use to publish your comment...you can sign in (if you have an account), or you can type in your name or do it anonymously.

How ever you want to do it is fine by me...

Help this helps!


Peace Out

Thanks

According to Kristi Bugg... or as my dad calls her "Crispy", there are folks out there who read my blog but don't comment...well as i sit here ready to fall asleep, blowing my nose, telling myself I'm NOT sick, I just wanted to give you all a big THANKS!


THANKS for reading, even if you don't comment and thanks for any prayers or well wishes you send my way. I truly appreciate it. I also want to say I'm sorry if I've ever offended you, it's not my intention to offend anyone. I'm just here so the people in my life can see what makes me tick. And maybe have a better understanding of why I am and who I am.


THANK YOU again.!

Reality Television

I've recently, like yesterday, given up on reality television. I went through my dvr timers and deleted anything having to do with reality tv. Over the last few weeks I've found myself recording these shows and putting off watching them. Watching the shows became more of a chore and less for enjoyment. The last reality show I watched was last weeks episode of "Keeping up with the Kardashsians", I just realized that there was no reason for me to watch these people. I don't really watch a lot of reality tv anyway, don't get me wrong there was a time when I tuned in for the Real World, Laguna Beach, America's Next Top Model, American Idol, Real Housewives of the O.C. and so on, but I've come to realized that the people on the shows are showing me the worst in people. My favorite really, of all time bad shows I've watched is "Flavor of Love" (if you haven't seen this show you must watch it, there's no way for me to describe it to you) women fighting over a very very unattractive man, it's ridiculous! And it makes me angry.
I think, like everyone, I've been sucked into reality tv and like the generation behind me, I can't really remember a time before reality tv. I mean, I know there have always been game shows and things that are "reality", but I'm talking about the shows we have on today...the Big Brother's, Bachelor's, Temptation Islands...those shows, I mean how did we get here?
My real Journey with Reality TV came from this show called "The Real World". We didn't always have cable, but when we got it, I would sit for hours and watch MTV, I could tell you every hair band, sing every song and knew all the VJ's! Then MTV, came out with this show...they took "7 strangers, put them in a house" and you know the rest...it was so crazy to me. These were people in New York, who were living their lives and being adults, they were doing things and talking about things I didn't know about. And I was hooked. I credit the Real World with giving me my first gay friend, Norman, I didn't really know what gay was until I heard Norm talking about it. It was new and inspiring and crazy and great and I learned so much about things I didn't know anything about...being Gay, AIDS, Abortion, it was a real education. I kept watching season after season, then started to get tired. The people coming on the show, weren't coming to teach, like Norm and Pedro, they were coming to be famous and I couldn't handle that. The show that I loved had made me turn a cold shoulder on it. But I was addicted and kept finding new shows to watch. Now, I'm fed up, I'm not learning anything, I'm watching fake, spoiled people wrestle in crap and make out afterwards and calling it entertainment.
Well, no more! I'm done and I'm not sad about it.

The Round Up

Okay, so there's lots of stuff going on in the world of celebrity and I've been slowing giving up reading about celebrities and their craziness...but there are a few comments I'd like to make... so here we go...



I'm glad Britney is trying to get her stuff together, but the girl CAN'T drive...I guess we should be happy the kids weren't in the car this time.



Mariah Carey married Nick Cannon....hummm, why? No really...can anyone tell me why?


Tom Cruise is still crazy...Katie we need to break her out of prison!


New Kids On The Block will being "HANGIN TOUGH" in a city near you soon. Dude, if I had the money I'd so be there (I wonder if my parents would buy me tickets like they did when I was younger?)


Two words.....James McAvoy


Angelina and Brad are having twins....and she's in a movie this summer with the guy above.


Humm, is it just me or are the Lakers good this year?


Why So Serious? Are you gonna go see it? are ya?


Why is Lauren Conrad famous? Just wondering


Tons of bands are giving away their music for free, now Metallica is thinking about doing the same thing with their next album...what? are these the same guys who sued Napster because their music was being downloaded for FREE? Pot/Kettle!


Amy Winehouse, great talent, I pray that she has people around her who can get control of her like Britney's peeps did. It's so sad to see her wasting away.


NEWS FLASH: Tom Cruise is still CRAZY!


And finally Girls Allowed is on tour, everywhere but here, but they don't release their music in the US, they need to though...our music here sucks...we have to wait years for anything good to come out. And I've pretty much given up on radio. If I hear another "drop yo booty to the flo" "your sexy, take off yo drawls" record, I'm gonna to be very angry!


Tune in next time when we discuss, the craziness of Tom Cruise!

Blinded

Blinded and foolishly walking into a trap that I've unintentionally put myself in...what's a girl to do? I wish there was a magic mirror to show me what I should do next, maybe I'd be able to avoid the same mistake I keep making...
But the blindness makes it hard to see anything.

Maybe...Just Maybe

My friend Brooke once blurted out, "the government is controlling the weather!", it's been a joke ever since and well now after crazy cyclones and tornadoes appearing all over the place, I'm beginning to think he was on to something...
So maybe just maybe he knew something the rest of us don't...yeah now the government is going to arrest him and send him to "Gitmo"...maybe I shouldn't have written this?

Feeling wanted and appreciated

So, that feeling when someone expresses a sense of thankfulness for you being introduced into their life is a great one. I recently experienced just that at work with two different co-workers. I'm grateful for that feeling and I'm extremely grateful for the fact that they both felt compelled to express that opinion with me.

This situation is just another sign of God showing me that this is exactly where he wants me to be. Thank You God for placing me here and for lining up all the things in my life and for allowing me to see the pattern and the line I'm walking into the center of your will. I feel comfortable with the decisions I'm making and that's been a long time coming.

Band Wanted

I've grown up around musicians...my dad, my cousins, family friends have always been musicians. And I've grown up with an abundance of music in my life. I sing at church and though for a time in my life I felt it was enough...I don't feel that way anymore. Frankly, my taste and the things I want to explore are vastly different from what is currently happening at my church.
I've always felt this need to want to sing in front of others, not really to show off but because I feel like I need it because it's apart of me, something that needs to be released. If I could play and instrument, I'd be fine...I'd go to open mic nights and sing my heart out...but I don't. I just sing, I try to write, but it's been a long time since I've actually taken the time to sit down and try.
I've been praying for a while now that I'd find someone else who feels the same way I do about music...who doesn't know everything, but is dying to learn and who wants to put their talent out there. Not to make money or be famous but just because they feel a need inside them to release the gift God has given them. I hope I find that person or people and I hope that together we can make an abundance of music that fits us and our souls.

Sharing more than I thought

When I first started this blog, I didn't know what it was going to be. I thought it would be a way for my friends and family to read a learn about me, especially those that I don't get to see alot. But over the last few weeks, since I decided to really write I have found that I am using this space to give my thoughts and ideals and myself to people.
I've shared things that I'd never thought I'd share. If you know me you know I'm very private and don't easily open myself up to people. But I guess because I'm sitting in a room by myself and am doing this semi-anonymously, I feel at ease sharing my inner most thoughts and feelings.
Now I don't know if anyone actually reads this, besides Kristi, and that's fine....maybe someday someone will and something I wrote on here will effect them in a positive way...or maybe someone whose having trouble trying to figure me out can come on here and see just how I tick. Either way, I'm happy and hope to be writing on here for a long time.

Just a little crush

So, why is it that I've found a new boy to crush on....it's not the ideal situation, but it's there. I've tried so hard to dismiss this and see him as a friend. And I've talked myself into that role, but then he goes and does or says something extra nice or special....

Okay, I could be looking into this way too much, but I'm trying not too. I'm just trying to see him as a friend, maybe a good one. Hopefully someday more...but I'll probably never know.

Good Week So far...

I've written alot this week. Not just commentaries either, I actually wrote a poem (which is something that I haven't done in quite some time). I'm the kind of writer who can write when inspiration comes or who really needs to sit down and apply herself.
The poem I wrote was inspired. I guess you can say I have a crush.
Which in itself isn't a bad thing, but the circumstances of it all are less than ideal. I would love to tell you about it, but if I mention names and places, it could potentially get back to the person. And frankly, I'm not ready to disclose any extra information.


All I have to say is this week has been a good one, because I have had my share of time with this person. More time than I expected, in truth it's actually not that much time at all but it's something.
I've tried to not crush on this person, I've tried to sit down and talk myself out of the situation, and at times I've succeeded, but then he runs off and does something to bring me back in. It sucks, because I'm trying not to fall for him, I'm just trying to be his friend.

Suprising Confidence

Has anyone ever surprised you with confidence in your ability and in you as a person. No? Funny it happens to me all the time. Maybe because I'm often unsure of myself and what I want or maybe because I really don't think that highly of myself and always fear that others don't either.

Today I was given an unexpected surprise when someone told me what they saw (and frankly, expected in my future). I never actually thought about or considered it before, but he sees that for me. It was one of those moments, when I felt kind of out of my body, I wanted to look around and make sure he was actually talking to me. But I didn't, I took what he said and placed in my heart and in the back of my mind.

He's giving me advice for my future but also challenging me to something more. It's funny, because now that I look at it, maybe this was/is just another part of God's plan. He knows me and knows that in this area I would need a push and although I do think that he has given me small hints of what path he wants me to walk at work, I don't think that I ever really thought it out.

Well, I know I haven't thought it out, because I've been trying to figure out what exactly I'm going to do next, there's so many opportunities that I didn't know where to put my head and now I think I have a direction. Hopefully God will continue to expand on that.

Well I'm gonna wrap this up, but to all of you who read this and have supported me in anyway, thank you. It really means so very much to me.

Tingles

The smile, the laugh, the eyes bring the tingles and I'm lost in thought of you.
What are you thinking, how would I know but I can't help wonder if your thinking about me too.
Moments are shared in the quiet of a room and I'm paralyzed at the thought of being near you, I'm excited and scared but I don't dare leave your presence.
When you're here I hope at the thought of your smile, when your gone I imagine your voice whispering in my ear.
I dream of your touch and wish it would come soon. I try not to stare for fear that I wouldn't be able to look away.
Your voice alone gives me tingles all day. I can't stand the torment, but every time I decided to give up my crush, you turn around and change my mind.
I can't wait for another day to share a laugh, to wish it was a hug or that you'd hold my hand. I'm holding out hope that the day will come, when we share the tingles together as one.

I don't know if this has ever happened to you

You can't figure out the words to use to tell someone that you don't understand them, that after all your years of friendship and devotion that person hurt you and doesn't seem to care. And that after you stepped away from the relationship and tried to mend your wounds they found away to turn the situation around on you and tell others that you hurt them.
I've been having this problem I actually still do, but I'm trying to find a way to voice my true feelings without hurting others, which I guess is what God wants from me. The truth is I'm not really interested in rekindling a friendship with this person. I just want them to understand why I walked away. More important I want them to acknowledge what they did.

Dude, I'm changin'

I'm pretty straight forward...not really but for those of you who know me well. I am, I love the people I've allowed around me and I'm furiously dependent and protective of them all. What most wouldn't know is that I'm a crazed tomboy, I love wearing jeans and shorts with t-shirts and I would walk around barefoot everywhere, if I could. I don't wear make very often and the thought of constantly looking in the mirror pains me. So I look foolish sometimes, I don't really care.
But over the past few years, I started to think maybe there is more to being a girl, maybe I should start acting, dressing and being more girly. I don't know my outlook on things have changed. I don't know exactly how or why but I'm ready for something different. I know I told people and myself last year that I was ready for a make over, something drastic and crazy. I was truly but got scared. I don't know what I'll do this summer or the rest of this year, but I hope it's walking in the direction I want to go in.

My Melody...for tonight

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory


You are the only one I need,
I bow all of me at your feet,
I worship you alone
You have given me more than,
I could ever have wanted and I want,
to give you my heart and my soul.

You alone are Father, and
You alone are good, and
You alone are savior, and
You alone are God


Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

I surrender all, I surrender all
all to Thee my precious Savior
I surrender all

Something I wasn't expecting....background

Awhile back, I started to confide my feelings to my friend Holly Beth (Beth is not her real name but I call her that), I told her of my troubles and feelings that I was having over certain things in my life. I didn't share these feelings with anyone other than Holly Beth cause I felt and feel like I can trust her to listen and share an honest unbiased opinion with me. Something that's true that is encouraging but also challenging.
In October and November I was in a place where everything in my life felt stagnant. I understood and understand that it all came from my work environment, but that situation made me look around and see what else I was holding on to out of habit. I have been attending Marina Christian Fellowship for Nine years. It's home, very familiar and very safe. I love it, the people, the pastor, it's family. But I've never been as challenged or moved as I was when I was attending "The Bridge" in Ventura. The times I got up there where few and far between but it felt like I had found something that suited me. It maybe that at Marina I was surrounded by Adults and Kids, and at the Bridge I found people my age worshipping and praising God like I had never seen before. It lit a fire in me and I have been looking for a way to rekindle that ever since.
The bridge is no more and I have changed alot since I was an 18 year old going to church and singing with the worship team. I am older and though I don't know exactly what I want I do know that there is a part of me that NEEDS to be filled.
I know some people are going to read this and think that I am bad mouthing Marina. I'm not, in truth I can't see my life without Marina in it, I just think that sometimes I need to add a little spice, now to some that may seem like a cop out but to me it's the truth (and this is my blog so I don't care what you say).
I was seriously thinking about finding a new job and a new church back in November, but I happened to go on this Job interview and I got the job, which happen to require that I work Sundays. It's funny, because other people were more concerned about my "spiritual walk" than I was, I had been praying for God's will and felt like he was leading me exactly to the middle of it. I was out of church for about 8 weeks. I came back and sang, didn't sit out or sneak in the back, I was up there singing. It was fine, I needed it for myself. But I also realize that I need to be fed.
It just so happens that there was a plan in the works for my pastor to take over another church in Pasadena. I didn't know anything about it, but last week, he spoke there and we went for moral support. And something unexpected happened.

Something I wasn't expecting...Corridors

The name of the church is Corridors, it's primary facility is a coffee shop. It's an actual church but during Sunday daytime hours the sanctuary is rented out to two separate churches. There is a small coffee shop built into the back of the church building where Corridors holds it's Sunday night services.
We came in an hour late last week, but as soon as I sat down and looked around I felt this incredible feeling, it was familiar, it was comfortable, it was something that I needed. I sat there and listened to Kevin and felt this warm sense, like God was telling me this is what he'd been waiting to show me. It felt kind of like an excited kid showing you his new toy, only he wanted me to play with it. The feeling got stronger as I drove away that night. The feeling, the connection was instant. Crazy as it sounds I felt like I was in the center of his will and that a curtain I couldn't get past was opened and I was allowed to walk in and see this beautiful thing.
That may sound crazy, but my brain works in pictures and that's the best I can do. I can't compare it to the Bridge, well I could but I won't. The Bridge was unique, it was an experience and I will always remember what I learned and who I met (Jun and Randy...which led to the Aldersons) can never be duplicated. But I feel a connection here at this place.
I spoke to Kevin (who by the way is my pastor) and asked him about the history and how he came to be involved in this new venture, he told me and as I was talking to him I wanted to say I'll do whatever you want, I'll help, I'll sing, I'll dance, I'll help out until you hire a staff, but I didn't. I think that even though I want to do all those things I also want to sit back and take it all in. I don't want to come in and take over, there are people there who have been there who are deserving of respect and I don't want to come in and be apart of the Marina show. So I have resolved to sit in my seat and let God do whatever he needs to to get me ready for the next step.
I just came from my second Sunday at Corridors and decided to write this because I want everyone to know why I'm praising God tonight. I actually got to hear worship and it was everything I wanted and needed. Guitars, percussion and a horn (several), but it wasn't loud or over done....organic, passionate, present. If I could play the guitar, all my worship would be a voice and the guitar, nothing more, nothing less. I want the essential to be the words not the drum loop. It's taken me a long time to understand that and although all worship is wonderful and pleasing to God I would prefer to hear a voice and a guitar.
As I was getting ready to leave Marissa from Marina came up and told me that she was disappointed that I wasn't singing tonight, Steven, who plays guitar said yeah and I promptly explained to them that I wasn't ready for that, that I need to sit back and just be fed for a while. I did tell him that I would let him know when I was ready, but not to expect it too soon. He understands because he's been through that and Paul said he went through the same thing when he first came to LA. I don't want to get in there and get into the same routine. I'm ready for bigger challenges then I have been before and I know that God has to work in me before I can take them on.
So that's it, I'm praising God tonight, because he's gotten me to this place and although I don't know exactly what's coming next, I do feel confident that he is preparing me. I'm confident because I know that He wouldn't show me this, that I've be secretly longing for if He wasn't preparing me for it. My walk has just begun and I'm happy that I can say that in Confidence.

Cupcakes and Muffins

So, I love to bake...I like the measuring and mixing and all that stuff. And I love the smell of fresh goodies coming out of the oven.
I don't bake from scratch but that's because I don't have to tools, I use box mixes and I have yet to have a complaint.
As I was walking through the backstage area at work tonight, I started thinking there are cupcakes and muffins, but what's the difference?
So, that's my question for the day, what is the difference between muffins and cupcakes? I tried to think about it. I use to think that cupcakes were more about chocolate, lemon, angelfood and icing and muffins were about blueberries, banana nut, bran and poppyseed. But now I'm not so sure...
I mean there are chocolate muffins aren't there? I can't really be sure about the different classification, so I'm asking you. What do you think is the difference between the two?

Who would you like to meet

Good Afternoon!

I've been working on revamping my myspace page and I changed my "who would you like to meet" section (i added a name). I've always had people in that section, everyone from Jesus to my future husband to Kasey Kahne...you should know who that is! Well today I added John Cena, who is Hot, but also seems really fun and silly. (oh, btw, he's a professional wrestler)!
Anyway, this all got me thinking...who would you all like to meet...I mean anyone, alive...dead...lost! Tell me I really want to know...
I can predict one already....Kristi wants to meet THE KING, Elvis!

Until Next Time....

Family Dinner

Every Monday my Mexican Momma Maria has a family dinner, everyone gets together and has dinner together in a family atomsphere. We talk, eat, play games, watch TV and just are together. She decided to start these nights this year, I think she was feeling like we were all growing apart. Babies were born and people are growing up and out, so this is her way of bring us together and keeping everyone in touch.
Well, I should probably back up and tell you how this family came to be. I went to a small Christian School in East Los Angeles called Light and Life. In ninth grade this little seventh grader named Desiree started coming to the school. She and I became friends and over the last 15 years we've become so close that we consider each other family. Her mother, Maria, has adopted me into her clan and calls me her black child and I consider her brother J.R. and her sister Danae my family too. Des' aunts and uncles I call aunt and uncle, her grandma, I call grandma and everything. About six and a half years ago, Maria met Peter and they got married five years ago. Peter has two Daughters, Reina and Victoria...so together with Desiree, J.R., Danae and Me we have become a kind of Brady Bunch.
Desiree doesn't come to family dinner cause that fool took her kids and moved to Lancaster, but Danae's Boyfriend Michael comes to dinners and Victoria just had a baby named Paul. Tonight, there's a house full, including the forementioned people are Auntie Ruby, her daughter Amber and Amber's son Nikko
We are having shrimp cocktail and chicken and rice tonight, with chocolate cake to celebrate Michaels birthday. Well its time to eat so I will let you all go...peace out!

hello world

So, my job although I love it, is very draining, I don't have set work hours or days and I usually spend my days off holed up at home catching up on shows my dvr has been recording all week. Really I have no life, haven't been to church, haven't really been out (not that I went out before, but there was always the possibility that I might go out) and haven't spent time with many people other than family. Anyways, I'm not complaining just telling you how it is...so...
I'm asking those of you who read this, whether you have ever commented or not, to respond to this, the mission is clear...just tell me how you are doing! Let me know how life has been since I've dropped off of planet earth and onto planet Disney. Good, bad and ugly I would like to know.
I hope to hear from you soon.

Congratulations to Me...

Hello,

I have great news, as you all have read I now work at the Disneyland Resort and will be celebrating my 3 month anniversary this Saturday...well today I was called into a meeting with my manager where she informed me that I am (as of Sunday) a fulltime employee, I am know longer on probation and now can get Disney benifits, pension, sick time and vacation time!
I am so excited to have this now, there's been kind of a knot in my back wondering if they would keep me, but they have yeah!
Thanks everyone for your support and prayer over the last few months, I appreciate it all and thank you all for your love...
I think the best thing is that I really enjoy my job and the people in it and I feel that they feel the sameway about me, its a joy to come to work and know that you are supported by management and co-workers. And it is the happiest place on earth.
It funny, there are people in my department who are bitter with their situation (a lot of job complaining) but I lived through a very unsatisfying job experience and look at this job as a relief, managers are professional, I feel like they listen when I talk and I don't really worry about this job when I'm not here.
Overall I don't have any complaints and I'm happy that I will be staying here!

We have the technology Use It (Update)

Hey,

Back in September I posted a complaint about cbs.com and how full episodes pf their shows were not available to watch, well I recently discover the cbs.com has now added full episodes of their shows to the site. I'm so happy about that. So if there are any shows on cbs you watch and would like to see again or if you miss an episode and would like to catch it, go to www.cbs.com. Enjoy!

So Small By Carrie Underwood

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
And then you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Oh, it sure makes everything else seem
So small

Soul Mates

At my friend Desiree's 18th birthday party I told her that I believe God gives us soul mates and that before we come to inhabit our earthly bodies that we are in heaven with those people. After we die we return to heaven and continue to remain among those souls.
I don't believe that I have only one true soul mate, because their are people in my life that have attached themselves to me and are now apart of my soul....here are a few

Mommy Amber
Kelly Holly
Desiree Kevin
Jenn Alfred
Kristi Mona
Momma Maria Dad
Rj

Some of you I see all the time and some not so much, but know that you are apart of me and I love you with all I have. Thank you for giving me strength, friendship, kindness and love. It means the world to me. I love you with all my heart and can't imagine my life without you. Some of you are answers to prayers and some are blessings I failed to realize I received until now.
God gave you to me and I don't intend to let go.

Movie Reviews

Awhile back I started reviewing movies I've seen and think other people should see...well, its that time again and although both these movies came out in 2007 and were nominated for awards I am going to give them my seal of approval.



Juno

Okay I'm biased, I must say because Jennifer Garner is my favorite actress and she's in the movie (that's really the only reason I saw it). I am glad that I saw this film, its quirky, funny, poignant and it challenges your thought process. In the end its a great film. I do have to admit that there were times when I wanted to tell Juno to shut up or wake up, but I'm glad I didn't, I tend to over think movies and I did this one, once it was all wrapped up, said and done I was impressed with the story, cast and wit.
If you haven't seen Juno yet, go see it I think you'll enjoy it.




Atonement


The next film is Atonement, another biased choice, I love Keira Knightley, this movie made me angry, one of the main characters though, not the actual movie.
Atonement is a beautiful movie, the colors the costumer and director chose for both clothes and scenery are magnificent, apart from the story you can just watch the movie to enjoy the pictures...
But the story is epic and tragic...it's a love story gone wrong, but not because of the lovers, because of a jealous lie...the book and film try to make it seem like the misunderstandings of a young girl, who didn't know any better, but I call B.S. on that. She's a spoiled little liar!
Keira Knightley and James McAvoy are great together and the pain they show on their faces when apart is heartbreaking. I do have to say that this can be viewed as a "girls" movie, but I think if you open you mind, heart and eye to the story anyone and everyone can see apart of themselves in the three main characters...even Briony.

So those are my reviews, if you haven't seen either of these movies you should, they are wonderful.

NASCAR (really only Jen will probably read this)

For those of you who don't know, the NASCAR season has begun...now its only 3 races in so I don't have very many complaints or insights yet, but I do have a couple of things to say...

First, kasey kahne is gorgeous
Second, Tony Stewart needs to cut his hair, whoever told him he looks good needs their eyes checked.
I think that kurt busch and tony should totally take each other out so we don't have to deal with them for an extended amount of time.
Did I already say Kasey Kahne is gorgeous?
The fox prerace show guys are highlarious, but if they are on too long they get stupid silly.
Matt Kenseth's favorite comedy of all time is Friday (seriously) makes me want to like him, then I look at his face.
Kasey Kahne is gorgeous
The gopher camera should be called..."the gopher cam", that's it, its not brain surgery!
Tomorrows race is in Vegas and should be interesting....Good luck Gillett Evernham guys and feel better Kasey!

Congratulations...

Debbie I pray you had a great day and have a wonderful marriage!

Take the board...

...out of your own eye before trying to remove the speck from mine.
There are always those people in your life that you love, care for and cherish but who get on your nerves...and sometimes they even drain you to the point where you don't want to have anything to do with them.
Well, I am at that stage and really, things are becoming hurtful and stagnant, I wish people could let you go and grow and just be supportive, even if they think your wrong. Sometimes I don't need a judge just a friend.

politics

I guess I should be paying attention, but I just don't really care. I will more than likely vote for the democratic nominee, whom ever it may be, but I'm not going to get my hopes up or bank on any promises they make now.
I have learned that the first four years of a presidents term are spent with hands tied trying to get through the policies of the previous president and in our case thats Lil Bush. So all the promises and policy changes being promised now are all for not, I mean I understand why they say things, but I also understand that if we want the promises they are speaking of then we have to re-elect them in 2012, although I have a feeling that its going to take longer than 4 years to undo what Bushy has done.
Also, I'm voting democratic, but I don't think the nation at large is ready for a black man or white woman, even if her name is Clinton, that leaves John MaCain. I don't know maybe I'll be surprised and if I am I'll apologize, but until that day, I guess I will just hope for the best.

hey you shut it

Sometimes people just need to listen and stop talking....just because its silent doesn't mean that you have to talk to fill the void.

I'm one for letting sleeping dogs lie, just let the silence happen. You don't have to entertain, some of us don't want to even hear you speak.

Just shut up!

Growing in the grass high and tall
Watching the days past clear and cloudless
There's that moment when time seems to stop and nothing around you matters...
Those are the moments of childhood, the moments we try all our lives to recapture.

If you move slow enough it might just happen, but before you can apprecitate it your next meeting, appointment or crisis has arrived. The only oasis from this life is sleep and most don't get enough of it. And do we even enjoy it? How many remember their dreams, but the real question is how many of us really remember those childhood moments when time stood still.

Revelation

Small wonders open into large spaces,
I can't find my way out of the maze that guards my heart from peace.

Wishing upon wish that this phrase will end, only to find that I've begun it all over again.

I'm lost, I've lost myself and hidden away every part of me, so that I won't be hurt. But there's no one here to hurt me.

Locked away, locked away, locked away with only myself to blame, the pain inflicted by me.

I can't fight the sorrow I plan out in my heart for myself. I can't heal when the wound created was made by my own hand.

I would let you in, but I'm ashamed of what you'd think once you see what I've done to myself.

To love and be loved, held in gentle arms is a dream...but I would rather dwell in that dream then live in my reality.