Awhile back, I started to confide my feelings to my friend Holly Beth (Beth is not her real name but I call her that), I told her of my troubles and feelings that I was having over certain things in my life. I didn't share these feelings with anyone other than Holly Beth cause I felt and feel like I can trust her to listen and share an honest unbiased opinion with me. Something that's true that is encouraging but also challenging.
In October and November I was in a place where everything in my life felt stagnant. I understood and understand that it all came from my work environment, but that situation made me look around and see what else I was holding on to out of habit. I have been attending Marina Christian Fellowship for Nine years. It's home, very familiar and very safe. I love it, the people, the pastor, it's family. But I've never been as challenged or moved as I was when I was attending "The Bridge" in Ventura. The times I got up there where few and far between but it felt like I had found something that suited me. It maybe that at Marina I was surrounded by Adults and Kids, and at the Bridge I found people my age worshipping and praising God like I had never seen before. It lit a fire in me and I have been looking for a way to rekindle that ever since.
The bridge is no more and I have changed alot since I was an 18 year old going to church and singing with the worship team. I am older and though I don't know exactly what I want I do know that there is a part of me that NEEDS to be filled.
I know some people are going to read this and think that I am bad mouthing Marina. I'm not, in truth I can't see my life without Marina in it, I just think that sometimes I need to add a little spice, now to some that may seem like a cop out but to me it's the truth (and this is my blog so I don't care what you say).
I was seriously thinking about finding a new job and a new church back in November, but I happened to go on this Job interview and I got the job, which happen to require that I work Sundays. It's funny, because other people were more concerned about my "spiritual walk" than I was, I had been praying for God's will and felt like he was leading me exactly to the middle of it. I was out of church for about 8 weeks. I came back and sang, didn't sit out or sneak in the back, I was up there singing. It was fine, I needed it for myself. But I also realize that I need to be fed.
It just so happens that there was a plan in the works for my pastor to take over another church in Pasadena. I didn't know anything about it, but last week, he spoke there and we went for moral support. And something unexpected happened.
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