Over my short 28 years of life I have learned that I don't do well with toxic people in my life and although I do believe that God orchestrates who comes in and out of your life at certain times I think he does it to teach us lessons.
After we learn the lessons needed we may lose touch or get too preoccupied on our new season of life that we don't talk as much as we used to. But then in some special cases there are those that you specifically choose to abandon by the wayside because you know nothing good can come from a continued relationship with that person.
I see all relationships as a dialogue, an open conversation that should not be one sided, but can be shared between two people where honesty and good will are coveted. Where you want the other person to be honest, even if you don't like what you hear you expect and even crave that type of relationship.
I have realized that over the last few years I have been unconsciously taking stock of my life and my relationships with people. And as I look at it, my life, the way it is now, I have found that I have slowly started to move away from some friendships. Some because of time and distance (although I still try to communicate with those people) others because I no longer crave them in my life the way I once did and then still there are some that I realized are toxic and had to remove them from my life and completely give up the relationship.
Sometimes I look at those friendships and I'm sadden by the end result of such a potentially satisfying dialogue...I'm sad because I am scared or because I see that people are running into situations that aren't healthy and don't want help to step away from them. Also, I'm sad because some of those friendships failed because of pain, blame and the unnerving fact that sometimes people just can't say I'm sorry.
I'm never intentionally went out to hurt or harm anyone. When I give I give my all, but once you lose my respect you lose me. It's hard to get that back and most times I'm not willing to try. But even though I say this, I understand that I am also to blame for broken friendships. Generally when I'm hurt I run away, I don't want to set myself up for the pain again and I stay away from the people who hurt me. And when I try to help someone and I'm rejected I react in the same way...not usually at first, but over time...because I don't want to be there dump rug...
There are people that I've pissed off recently, I may have hurt them, but selfishly, it's for my own good. They've found others to replace me and will be fine. My season in their life, with this friendship is over. I'm okay with that and if they hate me...that's fine too.
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