I'm really disappointed in the selfishness of some people. You don't want to be held accountable for ruining the things around you, you want everyone to cheer your bad decisions. Well you are going to regret this bed who've made because the bad is only going to get worse and when you need help the bridges you've burnt won't be there to carry you to it.

Randomness

I do most of my critical thinking while driving or taking a shower...weird, I know...but those are the places where I come up with all of these things I write about.

Race in the Pulpit

  On Sunday morning, on the way to church, my mom tuned the radio to KJLH (which our local R&B station and broadcasts several church services/sermons on Sundays). The Pastor that was speaking was on a diatribe about race. Now, let me say this...I understand the point he was trying to make. He was trying to say that race, creed and class don't matter to God and it shouldn't matter to us as God's people and Christ's followers. That's the point he was trying to make, but he went about it in a very round about way.
  He started off on a bit of a rant about race and how race is in this country. How all minorities are treated as less than and inferior. I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with his opinion on the subject, that's not the point of this post. No, my point in this post is to point out how much I dislike when Pastors use their pulpits to talk about racial issues trying to insight some type of radicalism, racial tension or empowerment. Also, I want to show how he could of made his point without going off on the racial tangent. I do understand that the Civil Rights movement started in  the churches of the South and I appreciate that, but those Pastors were making specific points to get people out of the comfort zones to start a revolution. This Pastor, it seemed to me, was just trying to upset people and make a flimsy spiritual point. 
  See, I believe that real Christians...already know that all life is precious and means something to God...therefore it means something to us. We know that we are all equal in God's eyes and therefore we are all equal on earth. I believe this because these are the things the Holy Spirit shows us, this is the type of insight we get when we receive the HS in our lives. So to preach about it in a racial standpoint is just iffy to me. Let's face the true facts here...


Do we have racial problems in this country? Yes
Do we have class issues? Yes


  We've got problems...but they aren't just between Minorities and majorities. Within our own communities we have these issues (example, before then Senator Obama announced his campaign for the Presidency I saw a woman on BET say that if he became President he wouldn't be legitimate because he wasn't "black enough" being that he was half white and half African and not of actual African American descent. Therefore couldn't really grasp the plight of the African American and couldn't truly represent us.) Within our own races we look down on each other...you're too dark, too light, ghetto, white trash, a wetback etc. etc. we all do it. So for this Pastor to simply make it seem like it's a White against all minorities issues is ludicrous and wrong. 
  We are human, flawed, judgmental, dumb and jealous. We hate on or criticize others around us to make ourselves feel better. We put down others to feel superior...but WE aren't! The smartest of us know this...we don't see color, class, creed, sexual orientation or gender and we respect all. So the fact that this pastor couldn't get past his hang up on race to give a broader more direct message to his congregation is just really sad.
   What he should of been saying is something like this. As humans we all look around us and see what we want. We see ourselves better than those of lower socio-economical status or (in some cases) than people who have more money than us...because we'd don't more with our money to help to world. We take ourselves more serious then we should...we hoard our belongs and live in a state were material things are more important than the people around us. We all do it, but not one of us is better then anyone else. No matter what the society around us says or propagates we are all human...made in God's imagine and as such, loved by Him. We as, His followers should know, by the Holy Spirit, these truths. But as flawed humans we stumble and forget them...so the Holy Spirit has to remind us. It is our job, as His followers, to try EVERYDAY to show the world what is true...that no matter where you come from or what you have you are important, you are respected and you are loved. We are equally...none better than the other and we should all be treated that way.


   THAT WHAT HE SHOULD OF SAID...sadly, it's not.

Finding it...but it's too far away

  So I spent a lovely weekend with my friend (sister really) Kristi and my lil lamb a couple few ago. It was a fantastic weekend filled with train rides, baby kisses, Lord of the Rings and an Irish Pub. But what it also featured was my visit to The City Church, which is the church Kristi's in laws (Jacquie and Randy) attend. Now, I must say Jacquie has been trying to get me to visit the church for over a year now and this was the first opportunity to actually visit (she wants me to become an intern there, which would force me to move to Ventura). Of course, she wasn't there and neither were the Pastors or any of the interns she insisted that Kristi introduce me to...but I digress. I walked into the church with an open mind. I didn't know what I was going to see. The fact is that although I've been searching for the church that fits me perfectly for a long time...I know that what I really want came and went out of my life a long time ago. So, I walked in not knowing what type of music, sermon or atmosphere I was going to encounter. I must say that I was surprised, inspired and overjoyed by what I experienced that Sunday. It did me good to be there and to see it...because I don't think I would have believed how much I'd enjoy my short time there without actually experiencing it for myself.
   The music was in a style I enjoyed and the speaking (although she was a guest) was wonderful. I laughed, cried and sang my heart out. It was an experience that I thoroughly enjoyed and when it was all over, it felt like it ended way too soon. I felt like that was where I was supposed to be...really I know it's weird and I've been trying to find reasons (excuses) to move up to VC for years...and of course God would use this church to give me more insight into that thought process. Knowing, as He does, about my hunt and prayers for a different church He lead me right into it...then promptly asked, "So what are you gonna do about it?"
    So what am I gonna do about it...finally finding what I want but it's 70 miles away? 

We spent almost 3 whole weeks without Internet and phone service due to a lapse in judgement by our neighbors...as a result I was bored senseless...but I felt the need to write. Even though I love the feel of putting pen to paper I just couldn't really bring myself to write that way. I wanted to type away and let my thoughts come flooding out through the music of tapping keys. However, after being overwhelmed by the sense that I could no longer contain or control the thoughts running through my head I finally sat down to write...it was a relief, but somehow shallow...


 And now that I've returned to the world of the Net, now that my hands are again connected to the keys I have nothing in my head to write about...sad

Colour Barriers pt 2

  I think I've always secretly wondered if I was missing out on something because I don't have any black friends...never really have. I know there are lots of factors/reasons why I've never been around lots of black people (outside my family and even then, that's not alot) and why I've never had any black friends. I understand it all, but that hasn't kept me from wondering. Wondering what it would be like, how different my world view and opinions would be.


  Let's get one thing clear...I'm not talking about living in the black bubble or anything like that. I'm just wondering about the black experience the way I've never been able to view it before. My experience through life has been much more focused on being a girl, being a daughter, being the eldest child and being a Christian...and even though I've been black through all these things, my life hasn't been about that. A couple weeks ago my friend said "if you marry a white guy your kids won't have much of the black experience" (well that's a paraphrase). I guess that's true, but my response was..."I don't know how to be black, I know how to be me". Me is the black girl who'd rather watch Futbol and NASCAR than Basketball. I'd rather listen to English Pop than Rap. But that's me...and if I'm lucky enough to have kids...they'll get me.


  It brings me back to the experience of living the life I'd see in a Tyler Perry movie...sure there are white people in the shadows, but the main cast is black. There experience is different from mine. It's not good, bad or ugly...just different and my curious brain wonders what that world and experience would be like. 


  What would I be like?

Colour Barriers pt 1

  This whole Trayvon Martin situation has got me thinking...again, about the friends I have around me and the people I tend to gravitate to. Since race has been in the news so much (I've even seen race attributed to the reason why Tim Tebow gets so much attention) I can't help but take a look at how I feel about race and how it effects my life. Quite honestly, although I don't think about race or allow race to influence my everyday actions there have been times in my life where I know I'm being judged by the color of my skin and the texture of my hair. It's a fact that in this country people are conditioned to believe certain things about certain people. That's fine (here's my opinion on it  here). I know that my parents feel a certain way about how, as black people, my brother and I should act. I also know that I worry everyday about my brother as a young black man walking about this city. But I don't lead my life in the "everything that happens is about my race" mentality. Do I think everything happens for a reason...sure, but I don't believe that reason is the color of my skin.
   The truth about me is that I come from a family that's been truly integrated in all ways. I have aunts who've been White and Mexican and I'm pretty sure my brother is going to marry an Asian girl. My parents grew up in the same neighborhood I did and have always been surrounded by a mix of peoples...and so I have. I don't think about race because the only times I've ever felt uncomfortable because I'm black have occurred in places that weren't my typical areas (Yucaipa, Idaho and once in Ventura) other than that, in my little bubble of East LA, I am comfortable. My brain doesn't immediately jump to conclusions because I wasn't raised to think that other races were out to get me. But I feel like I'm in the minority. I feel like I've missed alot because I live in this state of perpetual racial ignorance, could this be true, could I be completely over thinking this or could I be living in a my own world where none of this really matters?

Uncomfortable At Church

 About a year ago I noticed something weird. I was sitting in church and this person across the sanctuary stared at me the entire time. I could feel their eyes on me and every time I looked their way, they were indeed looking directly at me. I shrugged it off as a fluke and went about my church going business. I did asked my mother who this person was, cause I honestly didn't know, and explained the situation to her. She told me who this person was then completely dismissed my feelings (as she always does) saying that maybe this person just wanted to ask me something...from across the church throughout an hour and a half church service...okay?. Over the next few months, however, this person continue their staring ways, staring at me at pretty much every instance they could. Never actually speaking to me when I thought they might (in fact it seemed they were just walking toward me to get a closer look). Eventually it started to freak me out. So, instead of causing some type of scene or complaining about it. I just chose to ignore this persons ridiculous actions.
  Fast forward to two weeks ago...my mother tells me that she has finally witnessed this behavior and that she thought it was a little weird. She said she thought this person wanted to say something to me (because I sang a solo during the service) but they never actually opened their mouth, just stood there staring. I'm at a loss...it's been a year and I'm still awkward...it's becoming increasingly uncomfortable and although I ignore it, I can't help but wonder who else has not only noticed this, but maybe experienced it. I don't think this person is bad or will try to harm me, but  I shouldn't feel uncomfortable when I'm in God's house trying to worship.


   What do you think I should do?

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase"

~Martin Luther Kings, Jr.

You Need Jesus

 Do we, as Christians, use the "you need Jesus" card to often and to rashly? I find that I use it often and every time I do I'm convicting myself more than anyone else, because I don't spend enough time with Him.


 It seems like this is the simplest way to dismiss someone's problems. Instead of really listening we say, "oh they just need Jesus" and in a way we elevate ourselves above them. Because of that, we become Pharisees. Many may argue, well that person does need Jesus...but those people are missing the point. Jesus, in his physical body, was here over 2000 years ago...he left behind his words, stories and Holy Spirit, but the act of the physical he left up to His followers. We are the ones who are supposed to use our arms to comfort, use are hands to protect and use our feet to guide others into the "family". But before we can do any of these we must listen...we must find out what exactly is needed of us and if we're dismissing the words before we really listen to them then are we doing what Jesus is expecting?


  To me, the obvious answer is no. How can we? Not only are we dismissing them, but we're neglecting them...we're rejecting them. These people who need an ear, a shoulder or just a reassuring smile. How can we give them any of that when we want to move on to something else so quickly. 


SideNote: This past Sunday my pastor said this... "compassion does not work without touch"

The Neighbor

  We have an eccentric neighbor! He's painted his house multiple colors and has decorated his yard with an assortment of plants a religious statues (from the Virgin Guadalupe to the Buddha). He annoys my parents for various reasons but I'm going to talk about one...and how his enthusiasm for his property has become an irritant for me.
   First, let me state that my mom comes up with "ideas" and "plans" for things she wants to do around the house and property. She explains them to anyone who'll listen...but never follows through with them because she's always expecting my father to put her plan in motion and he could care less. She came up with a plan a couple of years ago when the house next door went on sale. Our property line is basically the side of that house (quite literally, if the owner sticks his hand out of the window he's on our property). Because we have no fence between the properties my mother wanted to buy several big planters to try and separate their carport from our yard...give us some privacy. Well, not only did that not happen, but the new neighbor decided to start planting brushes, trees and flowers along his house and therefore on our property. When she noticed this my mother stomped around the house complaining, but never actually went to the neighbor and asked him to move his plants. Instead she said "well, he's just doing us a favor". That, my friends, is one of the stupidest and most passive aggressive things I've ever heard. But the more he plants the more she complains. Never have either of my parents gone to him and spoke about this. 
    Once she started to complain to me, my proactive brain started working. I asked if we have a layout of our property and where all the lines where...nope, I asked if he could be confused as to where the lines are and therefore does not realize what he's doing and if that's the case shouldn't he be informed...apparently that's too much effort. Finally, frustrated I said since my parents and too afraid to speak that I would go over and talk to him about it...nope, can't have me doing that...that's too much like right.
     I'm writing about this, because I was on the back porch and notice a new tree planted on our property and I know that as soon as my mother sees it this whole complaint session will start again. I really don't need or want to hear about it. I'm too irritated with her latest plan (which is switching out our old couch for three chairs she got from work). The old couch is a sofa bed and has to be taken apart before it can be moved...that's my dad's job and you know what that means! So in the meantime we have 3 extra chairs (four actually there's a chair that arrived from somewhere around Christmas and has never been returned to it's rightful place) sitting in an already over packed living...
    My parents complaint about the house...."WE HAVE TOO MUCH CRAP" we'll people...that's because every time we turn around one of them is bringing new stuff into it.


Is this how Hoarders start?

Your Shine

  Do not let anyone take your spark away.


  We all have something inside of us that motivates us to move, to live, to enjoy life and the world around us. But for all that motivation sometimes we fall short. Sometimes we just want to not get out of bed. We all go through it, some more than others, but lots of times we come across these moments largely due to other people interference. 


   We try to blame ourselves, but usually it's someone or thing that sprinkles doubt into our self-conscience and before we know it we're doubting ourselves, our abilities and our purpose. So I say don't let anyone take your spark, your shine, your motivation. Don't let the doubts and whispers in...don't allow the inner demons you struggle with get the best of you.


    There is more to you than even you know, you're stronger than you think you are and ultimately you can do things and touch people that no one else can. So trudge on, even if it's a struggle, don't linger in bed for too long....


    The world is waiting for your shine.

Dear God

Help me find my watch...I've been looking for it for so long now. I'd really like to find it and wear it again. That would be super awesome! Amen




I probably should be praying for a job, but I really want to find my watch!

The Neighbor

  We have an eccentric neighbor! He's painted his house multiple colors and has decorated his yard with an assortment of plants a religious statues (from the Virgin Guadalupe to the Buddha). He annoys my parents for various reasons, but I'm going to talk about one...and how his enthusiasm for his property has become an irritant for me.
   First, let me state that my mom comes up with "ideas" and "plans" for things she wants to do around the house and property. She explains them to anyone who'll listen...but never follows through with them because she's always expecting my father to put her plan in motion and he could care less. She came up with a plan a couple of years ago when the house next door went on sale. 
   Our property line is basically the side of that house (quite literally, if the owner sticks his hand out of the window he's on our property). Because we have no fence between the properties my mother wanted to by several big planters to try and separate their carport from our yard...give us some privacy. Well, not only did that not happen (because she was waiting on my dad's okay) but the new neighbor decided to start planting brushes, trees and flowers along his house and therefore on our property. My mother stomped around the house complaining about this development, but never actually went to the neighbor and asked him to move his plants. Instead she said "well, he's just doing us a favor, because those plants belong to us now". That, my friends, is one of the stupidest and most passive aggressive things I've ever heard. But the more he plants the more she complains. Never have either of my parents gone to him and spoke about this. 
    Once she started to complain to me, my proactive brain started working. I asked if we have a layout of our property and where all the lines where...nope. I asked if he could be confused as to where the lines are and therefore doesn't realize what he's doing and if that's the case shouldn't he be informed...apparently that's too much effort. Finally, frustrated, I said since my parents are too afraid to speak that I would go over and talk to him about it...nope, can't have me doing that...that's too much like right.
     I'm writing about this, because I was on the back porch and noticed a new tree planted on our property and I know that as soon as my mother sees it this whole complaint session will start again. I really don't need or want to hear about it. I'm too irritated with her latest plan...which is switching out our old couch for three chairs she got from work. See it's a sofa bed and has to be taken apart before it can be moved. That's my dad's job and you know what that means! So in the meantime we have 3 extra chairs (four actually there's a chair that arrived from somewhere around Christmas and has never been returned to it's rightful place) sitting in an already over packed living room...
    My parents number one complaint about the house...."WE HAVE TOO MUCH CRAP" well people...that's because every time we turn around one of them is bringing new stuff into it.
    Is this how Hoarders start?


    Back to the neighbor. He's trying to beautify his area...unlike us, so I can't really blame him or fault him if he doesn't know about the property lines. But to my parents (mother really) that doesn't matter. Ugh

Harry Potter Small Group

 We have a new small group at my church...it's finding God in Harry Potter. We're going to be watching the films (reading the books would take too long) and discussing the Christian symbolism in them. We had our first meeting last Sunday and I know this will not only be fun for us HP nerds in the group, but it will be informative for the parents of kids who are cautious about the witchcraft and wizardry in the books.
  Because there's been such a backlash in the Christian community about these books I think taking a closer look at them can make all the difference in the world. 


   All that said, I'm very excited and can't wait to get start....although I'll probably skip the 3rd movie...it sucks!

A familiar Prayer

  Every so often I find myself in the same predicament, it's probably mostly my fault, but I end up in the same place non the less. That place is lonely and somewhat friendless. I'm not saying that I have no friends, because I do. I have a good couple of friends who I know I can lean on when times are tough and vise versa. But, they're married...and at some point when our relationships began....they weren't. I feel like I've missed the bus on that, but that is a whole other deal. It all comes back to the same thing, we are in different places in life, the freedom in which I navigate is not the same for them. I honestly (and as much as I love them I sometimes) just want to partake in the freedom my life affords me, but I want to do it with a partner in crime. 
   This reared it's head the most when my Best Friend was having marital problems. I started to give her advice based on what I wanted for her and not for what was best for her and her marriage. Because, on the horizon, I could see us leading the single girl life together and loving life. In reality, her situation was not for me to change or sabotage for my own personal benefit or gain. So I removed myself and walked away. I was honest and told her the truth because in the end, it was all about me being unsatisfied, unhappy and not wanting to project that onto her. Luckily she understood, but in many many ways it's still true. Although things have changed, I still would love to find someone my age who isn't married, doesn't have kids and will put up with my craziness. 
   I'm starting to sound like a brat I know. And even though that's so, its not my intention. Because all the women are answers to prayer, I don't think I've ever told them that, but it's true. I can look back at instances of praying and the woman who came into my life as a result of it....sometimes even without me knowing until later. As much as I adore my friends...I'm still in this place of loneliness, I'm searching for a friend to help fill it...coming back to the familiar prayer that leaves my heart, but in the end...maybe I'm asking for the wrong thing?
   Maybe it's not the friends I have, but the person I am?
   
   

Take You as I See You

  Call me naive, call me gullible...call me stupid...but whatever you call me don't call me wrong. In life I try to live by that rule "Don't judge a book by it's cover" I'm not always successful (which is another post) but I try and in doing so I take that all the way to the bank. I trust people at their word, and I continue to trust them until they give me reason not to. Once they have, I'm done with them, my trust can never be regained. 
  I'm talking about this because I was thinking about a conversation I had a couple months ago. I had just stopped watching a child who attends my church and I had yet to get paid for the last week or so. I was already well aware of the parents finances and how/when the majority of their money came in. So, I wasn't worried or anxious about getting paid. In fact, I was just the opposite. I trusted that they would pay me as soon as they had the money and until then I wasn't going to worry about it. But I went to a friend's house and they were shocked that I had not only not been paid yet, but that I wasn't demanding to be paid right then are there. For the next 30 minutes or so I got doubled team about how I needed to call her and demand that I get my money or remind her somehow that they still owe me. The more I tried to explain my position the more they yelled at me and the more upset I became. Basically what these two people were telling me was that whatever trust I had built up with this family over that last few months should be thrown away for money. I know that's the world we live in...people see the opportunity to get money and don't really care who they screw over, but I'm not like that. If that makes me naive, then so be it. You see I'd rather be naive, I'd rather trust that people will do what they say then to walk around my whole life with a giant chip on my shoulder. I'd rather see the potential good over the potential negativity. I'd rather trust than not...it really keeps the stress down.
   Everyone chooses to conduct their lives differently based on experiences...my experiences tell me that when I trust people I'm more successful than when I don't. And when that trust is broken, my experience tells me never to trust that person again. That's how I view it...that's what I act on.


   In the end, without demanding something they couldn't give me at the time. Without looking and acting like some sort of craze bitch who has no tact I got the money owed to me. No questions, no hang ups. Because I had a relationship built on trust. So if I'm naive, gullible or stupid....fine, but I'm not wrong.

Judging a Book by it's Cover

  We've all done it. Even if we try not to, we have. The unconscious locking of the door whenever a certain person walks by. Crossing the street to avoid a certain group of people. Making a face when we see what someone maybe wearing or doing...and of course thinking instinctively something negative about a person with a certain accent. These are all things we've all done. Does it make them right? Nope! Does it make them wrong? Nope.
  Since we were children we've been trained consciously and unconsciously to believe certain things about certain people. We, as a people, are groomed to be prejudice.  First of all, it's not a bad thing...it's just a thing. It comes from experience and what we're taught. Example: Some people think tattoos are low-class and that the people who get are too. While others believe that tattoos are one of the highest forms of artistry. Still for others tattoos are their ancestry and therefore apart of their existence.  Why we think the way we do is simple...we've been fed things since before we could remember...everyday on TV, in books and magazines...even the news (especially the news) has given us negatives to process about the people around us. 
  I for, one have a thing about accents...I love European accents...but hate accents from the South, Boston and any Latin American country. I also (even though I'm black) tend to lock my doors when a black man walks by my car. And please don't get me started on how I see a Caucasian woman's hair and wish mine looked like that. These are all things I've been fed...look up to the Europeans, hate the sounds of unintelligence, don't trust black men they're gonna rob you and of course we all want to look like white women because they're the most desirable.
   In the end we feed these stereotypes to our children and our children's children. Even when we know that truth, which is that these things aren't true, we still feed them. Because we can't help ourselves. I still look at a white man from the South and think he hates black people. Look at an Asian person and think steer clean they can't drive and still...I look at a guy who's brown with a shaved head and think...he must be in a gang. But those are my experiences...those are my surroundings and those are the things I've been taught. 
   Am I ashamed of my thinking? Sometimes...but I know my heart and I try my best to keep these thoughts and words out of my head...but on instinct we all go back to what we know and what we all know is the prejudice propaganda that we've been taught all our lives.


   If you don't believe me or think this cannot be apart of you...think about this. For 40-50 years we lived under the threat of the cold world. It ended when I was still fairly young, but I remember hating the Russians, hating their flag, hating their accents, even hating the color red.  Now, if you were born before 1983 think...whenever you hear about Russia do you first think of hate? No? Okay, how about when you think of Cuba...Korea...Iraq...Afghanistan. We've been taught to fear and hate these people....guess what they've been taught to fear and hate us. For most of us, sitting behind a desk having nothing to do with war, we are subject to the propaganda of our government and they in turn, are subject to theirs.

I Just Don't Understand...

how you can settle for less. No, let's be real, you've settled! Why do you think you don't deserve better? Do you think you can't handle being alone? Or were you bought for a pass and a purse...maybe more? 


you say this is love...how can it be? love is patience, love is kind, love does not dishonor others, love is not self-seeking, love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth, love always protects, love never fails....tell me what part of his love has ever encompassed any of these things?


if he calls you a bitch, if he tells you to fuck off...not only is that not love...that's not respect and how can you be with someone who does not respect you? how can you throw away your relationships for the one person who left you to be with several others? Who jetted you off to another state under false pretenses because he's two stupid to get himself out of the mess he created. Who married another woman, lived with her and lied to you repeatedly over months? How can you stand to be in the same room, house, bed with a man who is probably still having sex with someone else?


because you love him more than you love yourself? because you respect him more than you respect yourself?because you cannot see your life without him, even if it means you have to take verbal and emotion abuse over and over again? do you really think he loves you? do you really think he respects you?


if he did, he would have never crawled into bed with another woman...he would've never left you and came here to be with her. he would've never said he didn't want to be with you. but all those things happened and still, with one word, you went running back. abandoning all the good things in your lift for the bad thing that will keep you crying and in therapy. 


you deserve better, but he's pushed you down so low that you can't even see how bad it is. I feel bad for you. I feel bad that there's nothing I can do but sit and watch and pray that you don't make a mistake you can't take back....because when he walks away again...you'll be stuck.


but you'll probably just go running back.

Pushy Christians (Update)

 A friend of mine came through and read this post...he person told me that I'm not the only person who has experienced this situation with the female I was wrote about. Several others have also been backed into a corner and asked questions that are necessarily appropriate by the same woman. So, I'm not alone...but I don't know if that a good or bad thing. oh well! 




This last Sunday I went to church and enjoyed the service. I found myself sitting by myself and seeing people I haven't seen in a while. I also happened to sit behind some fairly new people. I say fairly new, because I've seen them several times before when I attended church under the radar (they, apparently never saw me). I will remember them for some specific reasons. One, the woman was doing the "Axl Rose Dance" (if you don't what that is watch the Sweet Child of Mine video) during worship and Two, the encounter that took place after church.

 Now, even though I blog about my life, I tend to be a rather reserved in person. I don't get in your business and I definitely don't want you in mine. So, why within two minutes of introducing herself to me did this woman start to pry into my life? She began to ask me things that were innocent at first glance but still not really the type of questions you ask of someone you just met. I was taken back by all these questions but because she threw them at me in a rapid fire pace my brain just answered them all without stopping. It wasn't until later that I stopped to think about the conversation, about the questions and my stunned somewhat uneasy answers. I found that the thing that most offended me was a kind of backhanded comment she made.

 She asked how long I've been going to my church, I told her more than ten years and she said she'd never seen me before (which isn't too odd, because we have 2 Sunday morning services) when I told her that I only come sporadically and that if I'm not here I'm at home she said, "well at least you're not church hopping". Huh? Excuse me? So what if I am...who are you, this person I've own for 30 seconds to analyze me and come out with that? Looking back that was the moment when I should have politely walked away from her.

 Not all churches are the same some offer things you cannot find anywhere else. Some are generic and still some are filled with people who find it their business to be in yours. I go to my church because I love my Pastor and his wife...those are my reasons, other things about it are lacking. I go for the sermon. If I choose to find others Churches to fill my worship needs who is anyone else to critique or criticize that? Especially someone who doesn't know me?

 That is one of my main problems with some Christians (which I know is a weird statements considering I myself am a Christian), the judgements they thrust upon others, they do it by putting people down and judging but calling it concern. It's fake, hurtful and frankly unneeded. Instead of pushing for information into someones life, why don't you push to help a family in need or pray for the sick. I don't need your questions or remarks about my life, when you don't know anything about it.