Suck It Up, Make it Work

 Over the last couple of weeks I've been really down about my living and work situation. I've been over thinking and wondering if I made the right decision. Commuting almost 4 hours ever weekday has left me drained and sometimes irritable (but that last part isn't really new). I feel like I'm constantly tired and I've limited my wiggle room as far as finishing out on a strong work day (I have to make sure I am completely done with my projects about 20 minutes before I leave to make sure I don't miss any trains, for someone who likes to handle everything and give every task it's proper attention this has been really hard).

  This morning however, I realized what the real problem is. It's that I just need to suck it up and stop thinking I did something wrong. Part of the problem is hearing, quite frequently, that I need to get a job closer to home(like that hasn't been my goal). Or someone I don't know questioning why I moved there instead of just staying where I was without knowing anything or caring anything about me (basically people who just want to throw their opinion at me, but don't know me enough to do so). My roommate's sister is in town and has told me, more than anyone else, that I just can't do this and need to find a job closer. It's quite ridiculous actually, but I'll leave it alone because I know she's just trying to be helpful. It's not helpful though and it's making me question this whole thing (so has the recent adventure in crazy town with my roommate, but I digress). I know the decision I made, I knew it wouldn't be easy to commute and to find a job, although I didn't think it'd be this difficult. So until otherwise I'm living on the train and waking before the Sun does...and you know what, I'm okay with that and everyone else should be too.

   Everyone lives their lives in the way they choose and why should I confirm to someone else's thoughts just because they think I moved too far away. The reality is, the people who are making these comments (not just my roommates' sister), don't really know me from anything. I made this decision years ago, it just took time to see it through and since I have I am not willing to let it go easily. Even if that means that I have to wake up before the Sun does and live on the train...this is what I wanted, so I'm sucking it up and living it.

   Until Next Time,

   ~m

OH MY GOD!!!!!!

I just realized that there are no more Hostess Cupcakes! AHHHHHHHHH

I know that Hostess went out of business, but everyone was so focused on the twinkie that I didn't even think about the cupcake!

Oh, how I love and miss you cupcake (this after I spent about 20 minutes looking for them on Saturday (at 2 different stores).

I'm so sad now!

Need to Vent

  
Just a few things I need to get off chest.

Yes, I moved...yes it's far.
Get over it!
I don't have to explain my decisions or actions to you especially if you have no influence on my life other than seeing each other at work.
You're never coming to visit me, I have no desire to hang out with you so I don't see why you're so put out by where I live.
And as far as wanting to know why I moved so far, I don't see how thats any of your business.
I moved when and where I wanted because thats what I wanted.
It doesn't effect you the slightest so get over yourself and stop asking me questions.
 
Yes, it cold in this room...You don't sit in this room for 8 hours a day.
I've explained to you why it's cold.
I've explained to you why I choose to have the temperature at this level.
If you sat here maybe you'd choose something higher I don't know.
But you need to stop commenting about how cold it is EVERY.SINGLE.TIME you walk in the room.
Its not going to make me turn up the heat.
Really all you're doing is irritating me and pissing me off.
If its the 5th time you've walk in and you say its cold for the 5th time please know I will ignore you!
 

Thanks for listening

Maturity...not with age

   We just had a harassment training...like 2 weeks ago. We were told what was appropriate and what wasn't. For someone like me the things that offend me vary, but most times I can let it go. If I can't let it go I'll speak to the person and let them know I didn't appreciate whatever it was they did or said. Ultimately I don't see the need to go to the office admin or someone else to settle a problem when I can handle it like an adult. I feel like I have a pretty mature way of thinking about that sort of thing. Others, however, will run to the admin at the drop of a piece of paper and tell not what happened, but some tall tale that involves many things that didn't...in the end everyone ends up having issues.
   So, like I said...we had just had training...I had just sat through a training telling people to be conscious of other people's personal space, to not touch people and to generally make wise, mature decisions. I was standing at the copy machine working, a Secretary walked quietly in through the door behind me and stood right behind me trying to pull little pieces of my hair. I didn't feel her pulling my hair but I did feel the presence of someone behind me. I spun around and in one irritated breath said, please don't do that, I don't like that. She, in a very dismissive way, said that I was being grumpy. I replied I wasn't being grumpy I was being honest about something I didn't like or appreciate which is people walking up behind me in a effort to scare me or make me feel uncomfortable. She replied with well we all have things we don't like....
   We had just had training...and I instead of running to my office admin, turned and told this person I didn't like or appreciate their behavior. They dismissed and belittled it. Not a very mature way of handling the situation, which was started in a very immature way. This person is a few years older than me and has been at this place for a number of years...but still the training, the life experience have not made them mature enough to handle a situation with care. Instead they reverted to name calling and sarcasm. Despite the training, despite seeing cases involving these type of situations everyday they still acted immaturely.
    Which tells me one thing (which I already knew, but was reinforced) Maturity does not come with age.

Clueless

  Sometimes I just want to shake you and tell you to open your eyes to something other than yourself.

  No, he doesn't confide in you, probably for the same reasons I don't.
  Because you'll trivialization our feels, our intentions and our goals.
  You'll question why we want something, but not to help us think it through...to help you keeps us under your control.

  Ultimately you'll make it all about yourself and we'll be stuck just sitting there wondering why we even bought it up.

   You say you have no idea what's going on with him.
   How is it that I do?
   Maybe it's because I watch and listen and observe him. I pay attention!
   Maybe I don't badger him with questions. Maybe I sit back and when the time is right I ask him something about it.
 
   Maybe I see the calling and I'm allowing him to figure it out for himself...because that's what I would want.

   Why you haven't seen it?
   Why you haven't questioned it is baffling to me.
   It's probably because you're too busy running around trying to look busy. Or ignoring anything that doesn't have to do with what you're interested in.

   You stand here and "Complain" in your passive aggressive way thinking I'm going to be as surprised as you when you "drop" the information or you think I'll give you some sympathy.

   Your son won't give you any information about his life...but what you have failed to understand is that me, your daughter, also won't give you any information...

   but you've never really wondered why...have you?

It's a Rant...that's long over due

  My mom told me that I couldn't wear makeup until I was 15, which really wasn't a big deal to me. I went to a private jr. high school wear make up wasn't permitted and once I got into high school applying it took time that I could use to sleep (also I don't like mirrors or my face that much). So waiting until I was 15 wasn't a big deal to me. Once I turned 15...the very few times I wore makeup (usually friends putting mascara on me) she would have something negative to say about it.

"Are you wearing makeup?"

"Who told you you could do that?"

"It looks terrible! Go wash your face!"

  So, needless to say that just prolonged my non-interest in the subject. But once I started to actually get interested I asked her to help me...I asked her if she would teach me how to do my own makeup. To which I got a firm...

"I don't know how to do make up, you have to figure it out on your own" (she said this while applying makeup to her own face).

  I was there on my own trying to figure it out...luckily I went to my Mexican mom who helped. She was able to show me a different technique (I have large eye lids and a very small crease, so all the "standard" makeup applying techniques don't work for me). I was very happy and very lucky to have someone help me when the person I really needed the help from let me down. So...(and here's where the rant officially starts) about a year ago I complained to my mother about applying mascara...I have tiny eyelashes so it's very difficult to actually get mascara on them without getting it everywhere else...her response

"If you learned how to do it right it wouldn't be so hard"

  Really?!? Seriously?!? This from the woman who "couldn't" help me because she didn't know what she was doing is going to sit there and tell me that I'm doing it wrong...she's going to criticize me when she wouldn't lift a finger to teach me how to do it in the first place!

  Seriously!

  As you can see this has been on my mind ever since..and it pisses me off! Now, every time I apply mascara I think of that and every time it pisses me off. I mean, how can you possibly be so ridiculous in your comment...well, because I'm sure she doesn't remember making any of the comments to me when I was a teenager. In fact, if she read this she'd probably ask why I'm lying about it because she didn't say any of that stuff.

   But I'm not lying, why would I?? That makes even less sense than what she said.

   I'm not always sure what goes on in parent's heads (cause I'm not one), but I hope that I never just disregard my child, make them feel like crap, then blame them for something that I never took the time to help them with in the first place....

   to me that's just terrible parenting


   Okay, rant over! Until Next Time

   ~m

Back to my Comfort Zone

   I tried...I have to say that's it's been a good run, I've given it a good few months and now I'm moving on. Before I go on to tell you the story I have to tell you this...I'm working. I've been working since June and although the job isn't permanent I've been extended here through the end of October. I work with my mom at a law firm and I've really enjoyed my time here.
   Because I work with my mom I have tried to step gently across this territory, but apparently I'm doing it wrong (at least, that has recently come to my attention). Since I've worked here I've eaten with her and others in the lunch room...which I HATE, but it's expected that I would want to spend all my free time with her and these other people so I go and sit there politely engaged in conversations that frustrate me and eat my lunch. Well, this morning I was told that I am being rude to her friend because I choose to read while I eat and in doing so I no longer talk or listen to their conversations. I read and eat and that's seen as rude because I am not answering questions when posed because I'm READING. Also, since I don't actually hear the question I'm being asked my reaction which is usually "what? or huh?" is being seen as rude. When in fact, if someone is politely and quietly reading isn't the person asking the question the rude one?
    This friend of my mother "has influence" so she (my mother) expects me to treat this friend with kindness and sit at her feet and wait for her to pat me on the head and ask me another stupid or very personal question (which she has done in the past). I'm at the point where I just can't win, so I'm choosing to get out of the game.

   You see, since I've started this journey into the great American workforce I've eaten lunch alone....I don't like to eat lunch with other people. I don't like to talk...I like to spend that time reading, listening to music, thinking, writing...I like to spend my time doing something productive and enjoying myself. I generally don't like to spend time eating lunch with others because they want to talk about work. On my FREE lunch hour I don't want to talk about work! I don't want to talk at all.
   Also, apparently there are spies all around you are watching me and taking notes about everything I do or say in the lunch room. You'd think that if I sit quietly and read there'd be nothing to "report", but I guess that's wrongs too. When I do talk I come across as a "know it all" and I get involved in conversations I'm not supposed to be in. So read, talking or watching TV I'm wrong no matter what I do. Guess, I should be happy she didn't tell me I eat badly (which I'm sure will come up at some point).

    So I've decided I'm done. I won't be eating lunch in that room with those people any more. I'll find another place to spend my free hour, where I won't offend anyone, where I can read in peace and where I'll expect to not be bother by stupid questions posed while I'm clearly doing something different. I'll spend my free hour not being watched by spies or offending my mother's "friend with influence". I'll spend it doing what I want to do...and I'll be happier about it.

Why is it that people ask the dumbest questions when you need help or sympathy (or when you're not even speaking to them)?

Like if I walk into a room and say to my mother, my leg is really hurting and I don't know why. Then someone (not my mother) comes up with...Did you hit it, bump into something? Well if I had then I would know why it's hurting!!!

I just don't know why people a) Have to be all in the conversation b) ask stupid questions

Okay...rant over!

Have a good day!

~m

I Don't Care (wrote this a while ago, but it's still relevent)

  That's my current attitude, I don't care. There are lots of reasons for this particular state of my mind, but the one resounding reason is listening to someone ramble on about things they think will impress me. I don't care...
  Name dropping (especially name dropping famous people I don't really care for), and talking about how good you are are the fastest ways to get me to not like you. Also, and this is key....please do not assume things about me. You don't know me well enough to form any kind of rational judgement that could be used to make an assumption, so just keep your, not so witty remarks, to yourself.
   I am not impressed and I don't care. When this is over my relief will lift weights off my shoulders and I'll be able to move on, but my opinions won't change. There have been too many conversations full of lame comments and ill-advised/timed statements for me to look back and say I miss understood.

I don't care....

I'm really disappointed in the selfishness of some people. You don't want to be held accountable for ruining the things around you, you want everyone to cheer your bad decisions. Well you are going to regret this bed who've made because the bad is only going to get worse and when you need help the bridges you've burnt won't be there to carry you to it.

The Neighbor

  We have an eccentric neighbor! He's painted his house multiple colors and has decorated his yard with an assortment of plants a religious statues (from the Virgin Guadalupe to the Buddha). He annoys my parents for various reasons but I'm going to talk about one...and how his enthusiasm for his property has become an irritant for me.
   First, let me state that my mom comes up with "ideas" and "plans" for things she wants to do around the house and property. She explains them to anyone who'll listen...but never follows through with them because she's always expecting my father to put her plan in motion and he could care less. She came up with a plan a couple of years ago when the house next door went on sale. Our property line is basically the side of that house (quite literally, if the owner sticks his hand out of the window he's on our property). Because we have no fence between the properties my mother wanted to buy several big planters to try and separate their carport from our yard...give us some privacy. Well, not only did that not happen, but the new neighbor decided to start planting brushes, trees and flowers along his house and therefore on our property. When she noticed this my mother stomped around the house complaining, but never actually went to the neighbor and asked him to move his plants. Instead she said "well, he's just doing us a favor". That, my friends, is one of the stupidest and most passive aggressive things I've ever heard. But the more he plants the more she complains. Never have either of my parents gone to him and spoke about this. 
    Once she started to complain to me, my proactive brain started working. I asked if we have a layout of our property and where all the lines where...nope, I asked if he could be confused as to where the lines are and therefore does not realize what he's doing and if that's the case shouldn't he be informed...apparently that's too much effort. Finally, frustrated I said since my parents and too afraid to speak that I would go over and talk to him about it...nope, can't have me doing that...that's too much like right.
     I'm writing about this, because I was on the back porch and notice a new tree planted on our property and I know that as soon as my mother sees it this whole complaint session will start again. I really don't need or want to hear about it. I'm too irritated with her latest plan (which is switching out our old couch for three chairs she got from work). The old couch is a sofa bed and has to be taken apart before it can be moved...that's my dad's job and you know what that means! So in the meantime we have 3 extra chairs (four actually there's a chair that arrived from somewhere around Christmas and has never been returned to it's rightful place) sitting in an already over packed living...
    My parents complaint about the house...."WE HAVE TOO MUCH CRAP" we'll people...that's because every time we turn around one of them is bringing new stuff into it.


Is this how Hoarders start?

The Neighbor

  We have an eccentric neighbor! He's painted his house multiple colors and has decorated his yard with an assortment of plants a religious statues (from the Virgin Guadalupe to the Buddha). He annoys my parents for various reasons, but I'm going to talk about one...and how his enthusiasm for his property has become an irritant for me.
   First, let me state that my mom comes up with "ideas" and "plans" for things she wants to do around the house and property. She explains them to anyone who'll listen...but never follows through with them because she's always expecting my father to put her plan in motion and he could care less. She came up with a plan a couple of years ago when the house next door went on sale. 
   Our property line is basically the side of that house (quite literally, if the owner sticks his hand out of the window he's on our property). Because we have no fence between the properties my mother wanted to by several big planters to try and separate their carport from our yard...give us some privacy. Well, not only did that not happen (because she was waiting on my dad's okay) but the new neighbor decided to start planting brushes, trees and flowers along his house and therefore on our property. My mother stomped around the house complaining about this development, but never actually went to the neighbor and asked him to move his plants. Instead she said "well, he's just doing us a favor, because those plants belong to us now". That, my friends, is one of the stupidest and most passive aggressive things I've ever heard. But the more he plants the more she complains. Never have either of my parents gone to him and spoke about this. 
    Once she started to complain to me, my proactive brain started working. I asked if we have a layout of our property and where all the lines where...nope. I asked if he could be confused as to where the lines are and therefore doesn't realize what he's doing and if that's the case shouldn't he be informed...apparently that's too much effort. Finally, frustrated, I said since my parents are too afraid to speak that I would go over and talk to him about it...nope, can't have me doing that...that's too much like right.
     I'm writing about this, because I was on the back porch and noticed a new tree planted on our property and I know that as soon as my mother sees it this whole complaint session will start again. I really don't need or want to hear about it. I'm too irritated with her latest plan...which is switching out our old couch for three chairs she got from work. See it's a sofa bed and has to be taken apart before it can be moved. That's my dad's job and you know what that means! So in the meantime we have 3 extra chairs (four actually there's a chair that arrived from somewhere around Christmas and has never been returned to it's rightful place) sitting in an already over packed living room...
    My parents number one complaint about the house...."WE HAVE TOO MUCH CRAP" well people...that's because every time we turn around one of them is bringing new stuff into it.
    Is this how Hoarders start?


    Back to the neighbor. He's trying to beautify his area...unlike us, so I can't really blame him or fault him if he doesn't know about the property lines. But to my parents (mother really) that doesn't matter. Ugh

I Just Don't Understand...

how you can settle for less. No, let's be real, you've settled! Why do you think you don't deserve better? Do you think you can't handle being alone? Or were you bought for a pass and a purse...maybe more? 


you say this is love...how can it be? love is patience, love is kind, love does not dishonor others, love is not self-seeking, love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth, love always protects, love never fails....tell me what part of his love has ever encompassed any of these things?


if he calls you a bitch, if he tells you to fuck off...not only is that not love...that's not respect and how can you be with someone who does not respect you? how can you throw away your relationships for the one person who left you to be with several others? Who jetted you off to another state under false pretenses because he's two stupid to get himself out of the mess he created. Who married another woman, lived with her and lied to you repeatedly over months? How can you stand to be in the same room, house, bed with a man who is probably still having sex with someone else?


because you love him more than you love yourself? because you respect him more than you respect yourself?because you cannot see your life without him, even if it means you have to take verbal and emotion abuse over and over again? do you really think he loves you? do you really think he respects you?


if he did, he would have never crawled into bed with another woman...he would've never left you and came here to be with her. he would've never said he didn't want to be with you. but all those things happened and still, with one word, you went running back. abandoning all the good things in your lift for the bad thing that will keep you crying and in therapy. 


you deserve better, but he's pushed you down so low that you can't even see how bad it is. I feel bad for you. I feel bad that there's nothing I can do but sit and watch and pray that you don't make a mistake you can't take back....because when he walks away again...you'll be stuck.


but you'll probably just go running back.

Picking on Michelle Obama (this is a RANT)

  Now, let me start by saying...I did not like W. I thought he was a moron who was controlled by Karl Rove and Dick Cheney. I also didn't much care for his daughters who, during the first four years, acted like spoiled brats. But I never said a bad thing about Laura, in fact, other than marrying a buffoon I never found anything to dislike about her. So hearing things about the current first lady that are clearly personal and mean it just baffling to me on many levels.


  Maybe people don't think it's the First Lady's duty to be so out and about on things she cares for. I don't remember Laura (or Barbara) really doing anything...Nancy was all about the war on drugs and Hilary was all about everything. I don't see how this First Lady trying to get a country full of BIG FAT PEOPLE to get healthy is a bad nor is her stance on helping our troops. But people sure do jump on her for "being in their kitchens" and "telling them what to eat". This is a country were our congress counts ketchup are a vegetable in school food, I think we should have someone in our kitchen who is trying to be a good example!


She supports her husband (through good and bad) and she gets railroaded for it. That's her job...it's called being a good wife. You support your husband even if he's doing a bad job...these same people would call her out if she didn't. The most recent thing I've heard is a Senator calling her out of having a big butt...okay so first of all. She's a woman and women have curves...thousands of woman are paying millions of dollars to have her butt (or JLo's, or Shakira's) just because she has a big butt doesn't mean she's fat! It means she has a certain body type that many many women want and many many men (probably including this practicular Senator) wish they had next to them in bed.


  Lastly, Christmas vacation in Hawaii...I'm pretty sure the Obama's have always gone to Hawaii for Christmas vacation. It's not like they just started doing it when they got in the White House. Considering that's where the President grew up, where his family still lives and that it's absolutely beautiful there I don't think it's too hard to believe they'd want to get out of dreary Chicago or Washington for a couple weeks. I actually heard someone say that Regan used to stay in DC for Christmas so that his Secret Service detail could have Christmas with their families...that's nice...but our last President spent more time in Texas than in DC over his ENTIRE tenure so why even go there?


  Republicans choose to pick on Michelle because they don't know what to do with an educated, articulate, lovely black woman. So they call her out on the stupidest of things without realizing it really makes them look stupid. I like Mrs. Obama, I respect her and I think she's doing a wonderful job as our first lady. And frankly, I'd rather our young girls follow in her footsteps instead of those of Rihanna, Britney or the Kardashians.

SMH (Shaking My Head)

  I've been spending quality time over on tumblr. I have a blog over there about my love for fashion. But lately I've been spending my time looking through other blogs...most of them have been about fashion or health. What I've learned over the course of a couple of weeks is...the youth are screwed!


  I actually had to stop looking at health blogs when I realized that the blogs I kept running across were not so much dedicated to the writer getting to a healthy weight, but to a skinny (more like bony) size. Young girls who are already thin (I know this because they post pictures of themselves), trying to get to the "perfect" size...which means bony. They comment on pictures with this is my goal stomach, these are my goal thighs, etc. All of those pictures are of girls so thin that their rib, hips and collarbones protrude through their skin.
  There's only one "health" blog I've found that is actually trying to so pictures of women and men in good form. And unsurprisingly it's run by an adult male, who's chronicling his weight loss journey. None of the females he posts are rail thin...they're all thin, but toned some even ROCK HARD. But all healthy and not scaring skinny.


   The other thing I've noticed is how much smoking (not just cigarettes), drinking and sex are on the minds of the youth today. Okay, don't get me wrong, when I was a teen all those things were around and some of the people I knew were into them. I wasn't (yes, I'm a square). But now, it's like....really? Is that all you think about? I've seen the quote.."I want to get high, or drunk or fucked right now" in various forms so many times that it's hard to count...Jeez, what the hell is going on in High School that this is what kids are thinking about? Thinking about enough to blog it and re blog it time and again?


   I'm 32 years old and far enough removed from youth that this is very shocking to me...but maybe it shouldn't be. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised because all of these things are so much more available to the youth of today. Through the Internet, movies and TV the kids are subjected to things I never was. The worse we had was Melrose Place. Now, they have 90210 (our version was the Brady Bunch compared to the revamp), Vampire Dairies, Glee, True Blood and Gossip Girl to name a few. So if the vast majority of youth are watching these then it's not really a surprise that this way of thinking is what they'd call OK.


   What I know is this, this generation will one day rule the world. And their morals are lacking. So is their judgement, communication skills and self-esteem. One day I'll be forced to pick a President from a group of people who may of had a tumblr, most definitely had a face book page and posted pictures of themselves in ridiculous situations...that makes me very very sad.

I Don't Care

That's my current attitude, I don't care. There are lots of reasons for this particular state of my mind, but the one resounding reason is listening to someone ramble on about things they think will impress me. I don't care...

Name dropping (especially name dropping famous people I don't really care for), and talking about how good you are are the fastest ways to get me to not like you. Also, and this is key....please do not assume things about me. You don't know me well enough to form any kind of rational judgement that could be used to make an assumption, so just keep your, not so witty remarks, to yourself.

I am not impressed and I don't care. When this is over my relief will lift weights off my shoulders and I'll be able to move on, but my opinions won't change. There have been too many conversations full of lame comments and ill-advised/timed statements for me to look back and say I miss understood.

I don't care....

Under Appreciated No Matter What You Do

 I'm at this point in my life where I'm starting to see everything in black and white. The colors are slowly being stripped away because the truth is slowly creeping itself in. Well, the truth as I see it. I'm not mad about this...instead I'm happy for it. Because this is the only way I'm going to learn the truth about the people around me.
 I've learned from dysfunctional relationships. Grow up with them all around me, so in a lot of ways my mind is comfortable there. I've realized in the last year, that I was not made in be in constant dysfunction and those around me who chose it are at a loss. Some people wouldn't know what to do without it in their lives and others are so scared of the unknown that they'll hold on to it with all they've got. Not me, I'm done...I'm over it.
  I'm tired of having people walk all over my heart because they don't have a heart of their own. I'm tired of making excuses for people or trying to walk in their shoes when all they do is turn around and kick me. I chose to stand up and count the people in my life who love, support and care about me no matter what I do. Who see me as beautiful, intelligent and wise. For those who instead of saying you made to big a mess when you cooked dinner will just say THANK YOU for the wonderful meal. Those are the people I want, those are the people I need, those are the only people I see in color....all others are black and white...all others aren't even on my radar.

Norway, Christians...love

Christ came to earth to show us what it’s all about. Love! His sacrifices, his stories, his life was a demonstration of love. Anyone who calls them self a Christian in one breathe but says “I hate” in the other, really isn't at Christian at all.
A true follower of Christ knows that God is a God of love, so we, as his people, should have no room in our hearts for hate. And we should not accept or tolerate it in our world.

I wrote the above thought after reading about the attacks in Norway. The man who caused these attacks out thinks of himself as a Christian. I consider myself a Christian, but I don't think he and I are reading the same bible. It's really upsetting to hear people talk about being a Christian then talk about how much they hate other people. Christ created us all, he created us to love one another, to care for one another and to honor him by honoring his creation. We've failed on all accounts, and will continue to do so if we don't pull our heads out of our asses.
People hate others for differences, the things that make us all special. We're all different, made that way by God....saved from ourselves by his son's sacrifice. We are all sinners, no one is better than the other. So to hate someone for their different beliefs or lifestyle or skin-tone is the stupidest thing we can do.
And I'd like to say right now, not all Christians hate Muslims...not all Christians blame all Muslims for what happened 10 years ago. I don't, I know that like there are radical Christians their are radical Muslims...you cannot put us all in the same category because we don't all fit in it.
To hate is wrong, and it does more damage to the innocent than it does to anyone else.

New Day Same Problem

  I sometimes forget about things. I go back to this previous naive state of thinking that my family is actually somewhat sane. Then mornings like today happen and I'm thurst back into the reality and the facts of life in this family.
  I live in a house with people who don't want to see the truth in what they do, but want to complain out what everyone else does. I'm not going to lie, I to parttake in this bizarre way of thinking from time to time, but I'm realisitic about it. I admit to it, I see it for what it is and I shut my mouth and move on to fix the problem. No one else does. It's ridiculous how blind these folks are.
  I hear them all complain about each other, but the things they are complaining about in the other are the same things that are wrong with them. It seems they are all happy being unhappy and that's the state they chose to live in. The truth is what they want to see not what's really there.

  I got fed up with waking up and finding the house a mess because people can't clean up after them....so I fired out 3 three to each one. I told them to clean up after themselves and stop being dirty fuckers! My father proceeded to call and yell at me like he has no idea what I'm talking about and how I pissed him off on an already bad day. He's upset because he doesn't want to work, he wants to laze around all day in bed while everyone else waits on him hand and foot like slaves. I'm not working, but here's the difference, I'm begging for a job,. Since I don't have one I cook, clean and take care of the house. When he doesn't work (like while I was in High School) he won't do anything but cook for himself throughout the day and leave the mess for everyone else. Even on days off in recent months he'll get up and make himself (only) food leave the mess for me to clean up then go lay in the bed until he needs to go to the store and get his daily supply of beer. That's all he does...but he constantly complains about how he's the only person who does anything...when in actuality he does the least.
   Listen I'm not bitter, I'm truthful. I see it how it is and I tell it like it is. My mom complains about my dad because he's an asshole and treats her like dirt...well, he has always and she has never done anything about...so you know what stop complaining. You love him enough to take shit, you have for all these years, you're going to in the future so why are you complaining about it to me. I'm going to tell you the truth, which you won't like and will ignore. So leave me out of it.

    Okay...this rant is ending here...because I have other things to do and if I don't stop I'll end up writing a book....UNTIL NEXT TIME

Pet Peeves

 I have quite a list of pet peeves...and I'm going to list them below...most of them are common among most people (I can only assume), but some I'm sure are my own and I'm proud to own them. I don't think there's anything wrong with pet peeves, and I think that everyone has the freedom to express there's freely to all who will listen...so here we go...

   Ignorance, but not the ignorance of not knowing you're ignorant and just living...I'm talking about knowing there's something better or having the opportunity to learn and not doing it.


  Twisting the truth to make it sound like a bad thing or a lie just so that you can talk about someone.


  Nosey People...stay out of my business cause I'm definitely staying out of yours


  People who are rude when others are trying to be nice to them


  People who are CONSTANTLY in the way...no matter what they do, they find a way to be in the way


  Liars! a lie is a lie is a lie and no not everyone is a liar


  Grooming in public...don't brush your hair in an elevator, cut your nails at a restuarant or pick you teeth in the middle of a conversation...it's rude and gross


  Not cleaning up after yourself in a communial location (nuff said)


  People who interrupt a conversation to ask what others are talking about...knowing full well that they don't know anything about the subject of the conversation taking place, but you're so damn nosey that you HAVE to be in the business, so the conversation has to stop to answer your question then explain the subject to you....just mind your own business! (guess that can go under nosey)


  People who won't let you finish talking before they ask you another question, which would have been answered if they had let you finish your thought!


  Foolishness, don't have time for it!


  Laziness at work...I'm all for laziness, but when it comes to doing your job do the work first, then be lazy if you have time.

  Drama, if you have to live your life with drama in it stay away from me

  At this point, I'm kinda out of time...but I'm sure this will be revisited over the course of this blog's life...I'm actually surprised I've never blogged on it before. So Until Next Time...