Learning stuff!

 It's only the second day of a three day weekend but I've already learned something (actually it's something I learned long ago, but was reminded of).

 There's nothing you can do to heal or help someone who has a deep seed of hate, insecurity and hostility in them. They alone are the only one who can work to find happiness and contentment within. They are the only one who can get them self out of the mindset and until they accept that they hold some kind of responsibility then they will never see what those around them know.

Congrats to You

 I wrote a post (that I can't find) about a friend of mine who went through a bit of a difficult break up. Because of it she was a bit discouraged about marriage and having children. I hoped and prayed that at some point a man would come into her life that would be her true partner, someone who would love her as much as she would love him. A man that she could have children with and spend the rest of her life with.

 I said goodbye to this friend as she moved away to continue her journey in life else where...and she fell in love...not only did she fall but she found everything I hoped she'd find. Now, she's married and happy and I hope soon she'll be announcing to the world that she is expecting. I couldn't be happier for her...and I wish her everything blessing and happiness ever...because she's awesome and she deserves it.

So congratulations to you...K.D. (former?) may you, your husband and marriage be blessed for all time!

History in the making

 I am literally watching History in the making. Libya is a war zone...the rebels have taken over Tripoli, two of Gaddafi's sons have been arrested and Gaddafi himself is either on the run or in hiding. This is the 3rd time this year that I have been glued to my Television set watching CNN intently. First was the uprising in Egypt, then the death of Bin Laden and now this. I'm overwhelmed and hopeful for the future of that country. I am also hopeful that these monsters are put on trail and brought to justice.

  There are moments in history I wish I was able to witness whether firsthand or through the telly. The march on Washington, the fall of the Berlin wall, the Gettysburg address (just to name a few) and then there are some (9/11, Norway tragedies) that I wish I didn't have to. This year, these moments changing the world are things I'll remember...no matter the outcome, I will remember what I saw, the happiness of people who are experiencing freedom (some for the first time).

   There will always be skeptics (the news anchors seem to be very skeptical)...always, but I have faith in people who want to desperately make changes in their situations. Who want to desperately change the world! That's happening...everywhere we look, all around the world. And I'm glad I'm here to witness it.

   Good Luck to the people of Libya, I hope and pray that your freedom stands and that you are all better because of it. Your courage, your strength is an inspiration.

Back in the Business

 I haven't sang regularly in over two years (probably more like 3 going on 4). But the other morning on the way to work, I was listening to Chester Bennington (of Linkin Park) on Kevin and Bean. Something about his interview stirred a longing in me. A sense that I haven't felt in a very long time.

 When I started my sabbatical from singing I told myself that I would only truly go back to singing at church when I really missed it, really needed it again, when I really felt the longing and the pull of it in my soul. That morning that is exactly what I felt. It's time for me to start sharing my gift again...so I contacted the worship leader and told him I'd like to help out on an emergency basis. I have to ease my way back in...I don't want to be overwhelmed I want to enjoy it.

  What's God doing...I'm not sure, but whatever it is I think it's been a long time coming. I'm ready for the changes I can't see, but changes I'll know they'll be....big ones.

Well, this is new

 So as of Last Thursday I have a job. I'm currently providing childcare for a family from church. They have a 1 year old and a 2 1/2 half year old. I, however, am only watching the 2 1/2 year old. His name is Noah and he's so very cute! Great smile, great fun to be around. He is also very sweet and cuddly.

  I was nervous about going to hang with him. I've talked to him at church before, but not really enough to think he'd be comfortable with me right off the bat. In fact, I thought he'd cry and not want to deal with me the first day. That wasn't the case. Not only was he very happy to see me that first morning but he was also very good throughout the day. It's been fun and interesting. I've kind of forgotten how different small children are...but I'm coming into my own with him and we're getting along well.


 I do have to say that I find it very interesting that almost everyone I've talked to about this has asked if "he's good"...good, bad there's no such thing when you're dealing with a 2 1/2 year old. They are trying to find there way in the world around them...testing the waters and learning. They're stubborn and hard-headed, but they're two. He's 2 1/2....he's not bad, not at all.

  So this is an exciting thing in my life. I don't know how long this chapter will last, but I do feel like all the job misses have been because God needed me available to help this family. So for that I'm happy...God sees the things we don't and I was here ready and willing to help when they needed me.

  Well that's it...Until Next Time!

Adventures in House-Sitting

 So I ended my adventure in house and dog sitting and I left that house with a heavy heart...I really wanted to cry as I said goodbye to the precious dog and my new friend Lulu. She looked very sad (as she always did when I had to leave) but instead of leaving for a couple of hours like I had previously, I was leaving for good (or at least a year, which is how long it was since the last time I saw her). I knew that in a short amount of time she'd be reunited with her family and happy...but I was still sad, still a bit heartbroken that I was leaving my pal. Wish I could have brought her home with me...but seeing as my family aren't the best dog people (and that Lulu DID NOT like my brother) I couldn't.


  The last week of house-sitting I had begun to get a bit lonely, missing the comforts of home. I had started to long for the noise and craziness again. I guess I wasn't thinking straight, because after a couple of hours back I was wishing I wasn't here. It was like a war zone in comparsion to the peace of South Pasadena. I just wasn't mentally equipped to handle the 3 adults who like to act like children. There were screaming matches, bitter days and unknown issues (that I chose to stay out of). At one point I looked around me and couldn't really understand why these people would choose to live this way...as soon as I have a stable job and money I'm gone. This isn't the life I want....I want something different...something like what I experienced while house-sitting...peace, quiet and civilised behavior...even if it was from a dog.


  Until Next Time

Norway, Christians...love

Christ came to earth to show us what it’s all about. Love! His sacrifices, his stories, his life was a demonstration of love. Anyone who calls them self a Christian in one breathe but says “I hate” in the other, really isn't at Christian at all.
A true follower of Christ knows that God is a God of love, so we, as his people, should have no room in our hearts for hate. And we should not accept or tolerate it in our world.

I wrote the above thought after reading about the attacks in Norway. The man who caused these attacks out thinks of himself as a Christian. I consider myself a Christian, but I don't think he and I are reading the same bible. It's really upsetting to hear people talk about being a Christian then talk about how much they hate other people. Christ created us all, he created us to love one another, to care for one another and to honor him by honoring his creation. We've failed on all accounts, and will continue to do so if we don't pull our heads out of our asses.
People hate others for differences, the things that make us all special. We're all different, made that way by God....saved from ourselves by his son's sacrifice. We are all sinners, no one is better than the other. So to hate someone for their different beliefs or lifestyle or skin-tone is the stupidest thing we can do.
And I'd like to say right now, not all Christians hate Muslims...not all Christians blame all Muslims for what happened 10 years ago. I don't, I know that like there are radical Christians their are radical Muslims...you cannot put us all in the same category because we don't all fit in it.
To hate is wrong, and it does more damage to the innocent than it does to anyone else.

Quick Round Up

  First off....Hello Blogspot...it feels like it's been years! So I just stopped by to give a quick round up of my life over the last week or so.

  I'm still unemployed, still looking, but coming up short.
 
  Starting tomorrow I will be house and dog sitting for two weeks. I'm very happy about it, I sat for this family last summer, I love their dog and the neighborhood they live in. Also, I love the fact that they have central air. I'm gonna have fun and hopefully this will give me time to reflect and write...it's been so long since I've done that. Wish me luck and I'm sure I'll check back sooner rather than later.

  I'm pretty sure I'm obsessed with social networks and blogs. Yeah, I'm a bit crazy, but that's okay....crazy people make the world interesting!
  In the last week, I've deleted my secondary blogspot blog, I'm started a secondary tumblr blog and I've been introduced to Google+ (the supposed facebook killer). I'm digging google+ and I'm really digging the new blog. I've had so much fun over there in Tumblr land that I almost sometimes feel bad about not coming over to check in here very often.
  But this is my first home so I'll come back when I have something very opinionated to say so...

  Lastly, I'm waiting as patiently as I can for my Bestie Amber J to come back to Los Angeles. She's still in Washington and even though she's coming back soon, it's not fast enough for me...I'm really missing her person, even though we speak everyday sometime you just want to sit and laugh in the same room. (And just in case you're reading this Amber, I'll stop buggin now). So, I'll end this now...
 Until Next Time

World Cup...Update

By now everyone knows that our Ladies did not win the World Cup. Although they put up a great effort they lost out to destiny and a team that had their entire country on their backs.

Japan came back again and again to ultimately win the Cup on penalty kicks. I cannot be happier for them because they needed it...as a nation, as a people. Joy is so little and fleeting at times of distress, but what little joy you recieve in these times can be life-changing. I can only pray that this was a life-changing moment for the people of Japan.

Being here and watching our Ladies lose was hard, but it was worth it...they showed the world that American fighting spirit, then the class we have, but so rarely demonstrate. I'm proud to stand behind this team and support them from now on. Next Up LONDON SUMMER 2012.

BTW, if I can only thank the Women's National Soccer Team for one thing, it's for introducing me to her....Abby Wambach, I'm thoroughly obsessed with you!

Ladies...you're in the World Cup Finals

 I just have to say this.

 I've watched the last two US women's world cup Soccer games and I'm proud of these women. When everyone else thought they were eliminated, they put their heads down and not only came back to tie it...but to win it. Then today, they pulled it out again.

 These are the girls/women we should hold up in front of our daughters. Women who don't give up, who don't sell their bodies. Women we can proudly show to our daughters and say, they fought for what they wanted...they worked hard to achieve it. You should always have the never-give-up attitude and spirit like they do.

  In a world where we put half-nude pop stars, ditzy celebutants and crude individuals up for our daughters to emulate, these women are refreshing and downright needed!

  Congrats USA and GOOD LUCK in the Finals.


  ****With all that said, we can also look at the other finals team Japan. Playing for their country which is still trying to recover from the devastation suffered earlier this year.****

Really?!?

  I've been singing all my life. I come from a family of singers and musicians (on my dad's side), so for me singing is natural. I've never taken a lesson, I've never been trained, I just do it. Always have...I think I'm good at it, but I'm not conceded enough to think I'm going to be a superstar one day.
  When I do sing (which right now is very rare) I choose to do it for a cause or for a reason. The last time I sang was earlier this year for a special church service. I was happy to do it, there was no pressure and I felt my heart, mind and soul where in a good place for me to stand up and sing praises to God.
  To me, that's important...though it seems not be as important to others. If I don't feel comfortable in where I am with God, or the song I've been asked to sing I won't do it. That's what happened this week. Out of the blue the church worship leader emailed me asking if I'd sing a song at church this Sunday. I didn't feel comfortable with it so I declined.
  About an hour ago, my mom starts in on me about how I should have sang it throwing out that the worship leader was sick and tried to sing it himself. She doesn't care about my spiritual being, she only cares about how many people come up to her after I sing to give her praise for my gift. That's all...
   I choose to sing when I choose to sing. I use my gift as I see fit. If God calls me to sing a song then I'll sing it. That song wasn't in my heart, it didn't touch me...in fact it made me want to turn it off as soon as the first note was sung. So, I chose not to sing something that didn't touch my soul.
   How can anyone criticize you for that?

New Day Same Problem

  I sometimes forget about things. I go back to this previous naive state of thinking that my family is actually somewhat sane. Then mornings like today happen and I'm thurst back into the reality and the facts of life in this family.
  I live in a house with people who don't want to see the truth in what they do, but want to complain out what everyone else does. I'm not going to lie, I to parttake in this bizarre way of thinking from time to time, but I'm realisitic about it. I admit to it, I see it for what it is and I shut my mouth and move on to fix the problem. No one else does. It's ridiculous how blind these folks are.
  I hear them all complain about each other, but the things they are complaining about in the other are the same things that are wrong with them. It seems they are all happy being unhappy and that's the state they chose to live in. The truth is what they want to see not what's really there.

  I got fed up with waking up and finding the house a mess because people can't clean up after them....so I fired out 3 three to each one. I told them to clean up after themselves and stop being dirty fuckers! My father proceeded to call and yell at me like he has no idea what I'm talking about and how I pissed him off on an already bad day. He's upset because he doesn't want to work, he wants to laze around all day in bed while everyone else waits on him hand and foot like slaves. I'm not working, but here's the difference, I'm begging for a job,. Since I don't have one I cook, clean and take care of the house. When he doesn't work (like while I was in High School) he won't do anything but cook for himself throughout the day and leave the mess for everyone else. Even on days off in recent months he'll get up and make himself (only) food leave the mess for me to clean up then go lay in the bed until he needs to go to the store and get his daily supply of beer. That's all he does...but he constantly complains about how he's the only person who does anything...when in actuality he does the least.
   Listen I'm not bitter, I'm truthful. I see it how it is and I tell it like it is. My mom complains about my dad because he's an asshole and treats her like dirt...well, he has always and she has never done anything about...so you know what stop complaining. You love him enough to take shit, you have for all these years, you're going to in the future so why are you complaining about it to me. I'm going to tell you the truth, which you won't like and will ignore. So leave me out of it.

    Okay...this rant is ending here...because I have other things to do and if I don't stop I'll end up writing a book....UNTIL NEXT TIME

My Theories

   I am currently working on several posts for my 2012 theory. It will be in several parts because one long post probably won't be read. Instead several smaller ones might. Since the time I first heard about this Mayan prophecy I've had two different theories. I haven't spent a lot of time thinking about it...but I have thought about it enough to come to a conclusion. Do my thoughts on the subject matter? No, but this is my blog and I feel like writing on it.
   I'm not sure exactly when the first post will go up...I'm trying to get all my thoughts into a good sequence so that I don't babble on or repeat myself. I want to give facts so that people who do read this will actually learn something and not just hear the ramblings of a crazy person. So for now, I'll just tell you that the posts will be called 2012 pt 1 - whatever number at stop at. I'll run these posts off and on with my regular blog entries until I'm done collecting information...which will hopefully be around December 21, 2012 (which is the exact date the Mayan Calendar ends).
   Just to preference this, I'm not afraid of 2012, I'm not worried about it. I am curious...and like anyone curious about anything I've asked my questions, looked for some answers and watched some specials about it. I know that in a year from now people are going to be worked up into a terror just like they were with the Y2K thing...but don't let the media get you rattled.


   Until Next Time

Budgets

 The other day I said I didn't have anything to say, because they was so much going on in this world I didn't know where to start. Well, that night as I was dozing off the news gave me something to speak on...budget cuts.
 This country is in the midst of a financial crisis...this state (California) is way worse off that most. We can't win for losing and it sucks...especially because we can't get the money for the things we really need. Los Angeles, which is full of the ultra wealthy and super poor, is suffering just like every other city. But the length at which our mayor is willing to cutback is ridiculous.
  Fire, Police, Emergency Services are all being cut...all of them across the line. Firefighters and Police have been protesting but to no avail. Look I understand that we have no money to pay them...I understand that it's hard on everyone, but living in a neighborhood were gun shots are a regular thing it's scary to know that there may be a day when I call 911 and won't get any help. When a house on my block might catch fire and we have to put it out ourselves because the engines won't show.
   We have terrible streets, a terrible school system and now this...Los Angeles, how I hate you more and more each day. I'm not saying I have a solution for the budget problems or how to get money to the places that need it most, but what I am saying is that Police, Firefighters and Emergency Services in general need as much money as they can get.


  oh and in a related topic. In a Northern California city, Emergency Service workers watched a man drown because extreme cutbacks meant they weren't trained for water to land rescues and because of their lack of training it was legally for them to rescue him. Sad, disappointing and a direct result of a mayor taking the short way out.

Osama Bin Laden

 I first learned about Osama Bin Laden's death via twitter. I looked down at my phone and 3 people I follow had posted something about his death, then said go to CNN. Sitting in the living room of my house I yelled out "Osama Bin Laden is dead, turn to CNN!" so that everyone could hear me. There it was confirmed...he was dead, taken out by some pretty bad ass Special Ops guys. Ordered there by our pretty bad ass President.
 Utter joy and disbelief flooded my body. Could this be, this man that scarred a generation of people...could he really be dead? I wanted to sing and dance and laugh and be...well, JOYFUL. The only thing running through my head was "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead". Because our witch was.  I wasn't the only one feeling that way, people actually took to the streets...singing and dancing, being JOYFUL. Being happy...but for me, that happiness left as fast as it came. Because in the back of my mind, it was no longer about celebrating his death, it was about "what's coming next". This community of followers, his followers will surely attempt to strike at us again. Whether us directly or one of our allies. That's scary, but I gave myself a moment for the joy!
  Then, in a matter of days, people started to come out of the woodwork to condemn those who danced and sang...celebrating death is apparently a no-no to some. Even when it's the death of a mass murdered who killed innocents just because he doesn't like how we live. I'm sorry...I don't get that. Those must be the people who were under a rock on that faithful Tuesday. Who didn't witness it, who didn't walk around in a zombie like state that day, that week. Wondering what was happening. Those must be the people who didn't looked (and still look) into the sky every time a plane passed over head and prayed that it wasn't going to come down on them.  Those are the people who weren't truly affected.
   I didn't know anyone who died that day, but I do know that a part of me was taken. That part of freedom that allows you to live blindly, thinking you're untouchable died. I'm scarred by the sights, the sounds, the smoke...the imagines that I'll never forget. Hearing about the men and women who willingly gave their lives to save others...those are the things I'll hold on to. And if my heart was given just a small bit of peace because of the death of this man, then I'll take it. I won't be ashamed to say I was happy, JOYFUL...I wanted to sing and dance at his death because his death was what we've been promised since that day and we got it.

Hey There

 I've been so busy putting together my new blog that I've totally shied away from this one. I've been having a lot of fun over at the other place because it doesn't take as much brain power. I usually come on here and rant about something that I feel really powerful about. There are so many things going on in the world right now that I just don't know where to begin.


 I do have to say that I've been blessed with some pretty great friends. Even though I'm in my hole here at home and I sometimes feel like life is passing me by I know that if/when I really need them they'll come through. Not everyone has that...that makes me truly blessed.


 So I'm gonna go now, I'm going to write up another blog post in a minute...it may or may not be for this blog....

 Until Next Time

Another Blog...Again and again

 I decided to do this again....

 I have a tumblr blog, it's not a journal-like blog like this one...it is a "girly" fashion, makeup, shoes and accessories blog. I'm not trying to school anyone in the ways of being girly...cause I'm not, but I do have to say that somewhere inside of me is a real girly girl trying to escape!

 This belong is the first of many steps to that. I hope you swing by and give me your feed back, I'd really appreciate it!


 This blog will keep going, cause I still need someplace to vent my frustration and concerns.

 Until Next Time

When it Rains, It Pours...

 And it's not always the good kind of rain.

  Last week I had a job interview and well, today I was informed I didn't get it. I've tried to stay pretty positive about the whole job hunt thing. Not getting any call backs or only getting scams and now, it's the getting all the way through two interviews and a "test" but still being told you're not what we're looking for.  It sucks!

   I'm still trying to keep my head up. I instinctively knew that I wasn't going to get it, but I'm still disappointed. I'm still sadden by the fact, that my skills...my experience isn't good enough. I'm starting to feel trapped and I don't like it.

   So now, it's back to the drawing board....back to the disappointment. Trying to keep the sadness from taking over.

Hey

  You still here? Didn't get taken in the rapture? Me either...well, have a good day

Know Peace

 As I sit here writing this post I have thoughts nagging at the back of my mind. Thoughts that are more worrying and over powering than anything I can read in the news at the moment. But in the news, besides Arnold's Baby, the Boxtox Mom and the Nazi Director (see what I mean) there is a story about the end of the world. If you haven't heard it yet...here it is. The world will end on Saturday, May 21, 2011. Or at least that's what someone has predicted.
  I vaguely heard something about this a couple months ago, then recently saw a billboard for it. And now, on the eve of this day there is a definite uproar about it everywhere. I don't believe it because frankly, I believe in God. I believe what the bible says about the end of the world. That only God knows that date and God will only tell Jesus when it's time. No one else is privy to the information because....no one else is worthy of it. So for some guy to come out and say this is what's going to happen makes me laugh.
  As a human, there's always that self doubt, I believe what I believe but there's that little voice saying....are you sure? Listen if the world ends tomorrow I will, be wrong. I can live with that. But if it doesn't...then what? What are we supposed to do...go on with the rest of our lives until the next day the world is supposed to end....which is next year(I'll have another post on that topic), THANKS MAYANS!
   I know peace, the peace that passes all understanding the peace that God gives out to quiet our souls and give us calm. The peace to dismiss the ridiculous, the turn the other cheek and keep ourselves walking on the path toward heaven. This peace is a peace everyone should have. A peace that God will give you, all you have to do is ask. This is the peace that will keep me grounded and happy.
   So tomorrow when the world is running around waiting for the end, I'll be at peace knowing that God's in control and I'm okay. And if tomorrow He does decide to end it all...I'll be at peace with that too.

   Next Until Time...