Okay , I mentioned before that I read this book series this past summer, well I loved it and the only reason I found the books was because of the movie. Now, at first I thought the trailer looked stupid but after reading the books and whose going to be on the soundtrack and seeing like 5 different trailers, I'm completely excited about it. In fact I'm so excited that every time I see a new trailer or commercial I get even more excited.
I only know two people who have actually read the book (twilight) and a ton of others who want to read it...so I have a question. Who wants to go see the movie.
With less than a month away (22 days to be exact) til opening weekend, we are running out of time to make good plans to see this movie. Honestly I would love to see it on opening weekend but I'm not trying to beat up anyone. I enjoy my movie experiences way too much for me to see it with a 100 screaming teenage girls and their screaming middle-aged moms (check out the twilight moms website, they're out there). So I might wait and go the week after opening, but I'm excited and if anyone wants to go see it with me. Let me know I'll be there!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
My New Job
Hey, i thought i'd come by and let everyone know how my new job was going. i've been at this new place for three days (my first day was friday). i'm now working in downtown la in a law firm (which i won't name here). it's great, closer to home and i can car pool with my mom so that i don't have to pay for parking.
i'm now working in a field called "office services". currently i'm the person in charge of hospitality services. basically, i'm in charge of making sure the 3 kitchens are fully stocked at all times and setting up and breaking down conference rooms before and after meetings. it sounds easy and honestly once you know what you are doing it is, but it's been difficult at times, especially yesterday, when i had to run around trying to find things that weren't where they should be. then restocking everyone cause, as it turned out, no one had done that in a while.
today was a much better, i was on top of stuff and i figure that tomorrow will be even better so that by this time next week i will be able to fly through the day without any worries and will maybe be able to start training and learning other office service duties.
i'm enjoying the job! i work in a law firm so people are professional and they mind their own business, i'm not worried about other people i can just do what i need to do. best part, i'm not standing in the sun talking to rude and uncurtieous people anymore and i can take a break when i really need to, and not worry about the fact that the work's not getting done. the job can be demanding, i see that, but it'll only get bad if i'm not doing what i'm supposed to do. if i stay on top of my work, then i'll be fine....honestly i'm not worried about it at all.
working in an air conditioned building is fantastic....let me tell you!
so basically so far so good...if there's anything else, i'll let you know. And to answer your question, i'm not sad that i left Disney, i was ready to go, just sad that i left good people in that same sad situation. Disney was the means to an end so i can take it for that, it was a special time cause i met great people but as a job it kinda sucked
i'm now working in a field called "office services". currently i'm the person in charge of hospitality services. basically, i'm in charge of making sure the 3 kitchens are fully stocked at all times and setting up and breaking down conference rooms before and after meetings. it sounds easy and honestly once you know what you are doing it is, but it's been difficult at times, especially yesterday, when i had to run around trying to find things that weren't where they should be. then restocking everyone cause, as it turned out, no one had done that in a while.
today was a much better, i was on top of stuff and i figure that tomorrow will be even better so that by this time next week i will be able to fly through the day without any worries and will maybe be able to start training and learning other office service duties.
i'm enjoying the job! i work in a law firm so people are professional and they mind their own business, i'm not worried about other people i can just do what i need to do. best part, i'm not standing in the sun talking to rude and uncurtieous people anymore and i can take a break when i really need to, and not worry about the fact that the work's not getting done. the job can be demanding, i see that, but it'll only get bad if i'm not doing what i'm supposed to do. if i stay on top of my work, then i'll be fine....honestly i'm not worried about it at all.
working in an air conditioned building is fantastic....let me tell you!
so basically so far so good...if there's anything else, i'll let you know. And to answer your question, i'm not sad that i left Disney, i was ready to go, just sad that i left good people in that same sad situation. Disney was the means to an end so i can take it for that, it was a special time cause i met great people but as a job it kinda sucked
Sunday, October 19, 2008
the picture below...
is of the two brothers from a band called Tokio Hotel. They are a German Band, that I first saw on the MTV Music Video Awards...I thought he was a she but then he started talking.
I put this picture up simply to get a response from people. Thanks for playing along.
Kristi don't worry, I'd never heard of them before September. You're not out of the loop
I put this picture up simply to get a response from people. Thanks for playing along.
Kristi don't worry, I'd never heard of them before September. You're not out of the loop
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Dont Buy Cheap Stuff
A couple of months ago my dad came into my bathroom and saw that our toilet seat was broken. So he went out and bought us a new one (from like the liquor store down the hill). Well it sucks, and low and behold, when you buy cheap things they brake. That's what happened to the "new" cheap toilet seat! After about two months it's now broken. The first seat lasted for over two years...this one only lasted two months.
I told my mom when he got it, that it was cheap....didn't fit and terrible to put on the actual toilet. And, in fact, the seat actually broke after about a week and a half! Now I have to go buy a new one, when I wasn't complaining about the original to begin with. (Neither one of us, my bro or I, were complaining about it). Anyway, all this to say, don't buy cheap stuff, it sucks!
I told my mom when he got it, that it was cheap....didn't fit and terrible to put on the actual toilet. And, in fact, the seat actually broke after about a week and a half! Now I have to go buy a new one, when I wasn't complaining about the original to begin with. (Neither one of us, my bro or I, were complaining about it). Anyway, all this to say, don't buy cheap stuff, it sucks!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
the possibilities
READ THE PREVIOUS POST BEFORE READING THIS ONE!
Okay, so I said I was really excited about the new job I have...there are tons of reasons I'm excited. I get to wear normal clothes for one (i do have to wear a company shirt 4 days a week, but other than that I get to dress myself). I can wear jewelry and actually act like a normal person instead of a perfect person (as expected sometimes). I'm just excited of the new possibilities in front of me. And not having to stifle myself creatively anymore. I'm also very excited about being able to use my hands for more than punching a computer screen. That will be exciting.
I might sound crazy but that's okay. I'm starting to feel free!
Okay, so I said I was really excited about the new job I have...there are tons of reasons I'm excited. I get to wear normal clothes for one (i do have to wear a company shirt 4 days a week, but other than that I get to dress myself). I can wear jewelry and actually act like a normal person instead of a perfect person (as expected sometimes). I'm just excited of the new possibilities in front of me. And not having to stifle myself creatively anymore. I'm also very excited about being able to use my hands for more than punching a computer screen. That will be exciting.
I might sound crazy but that's okay. I'm starting to feel free!
Goodbyes and Hellos
This post may surprise everyone (well at least those who don't already know). I have always painted the picture of my job at Disney as being "rosey", and it has been. I really like being there overall, but over time things have become extremely tedious, the biggest of these being the amount of money I make, the second being the constant abuse I take from inconsiderate guests. Other than those two things I really enjoy the job.
This week, I was called and pretty much offered a new job at a Law firm downtown, more hours, more money, closer to home and I think a better fit and opportunity for me at this stage in my life. So, I took it and in two weeks I will no longer be an employee of the Disney Company. When things first started happening on Tuesday evening, I was very hesitant about it all, but when I woke up on Wednesday morning I was relieved and calm. I knew/know God is in control of this situation. And, without going into detail, I know that this whole thing is an answer to a silent prayer.
So, I wanted to share my Good news with you all, because that's what I do. I will now be able to live comfortably and not have to stay at home and not enjoy my life simply because I can only afford to put gas in my car. I believe that God placed me at Disney in order to learn somethings about myself that I can use in my future and I have learned alot. I'm so excited about my new place, that I can't forget to be "here" in the current place. I'm ready to move on and that's exciting.
I probably won't post more about this until I start the new job. By then you might not be able to shut me up!
This week, I was called and pretty much offered a new job at a Law firm downtown, more hours, more money, closer to home and I think a better fit and opportunity for me at this stage in my life. So, I took it and in two weeks I will no longer be an employee of the Disney Company. When things first started happening on Tuesday evening, I was very hesitant about it all, but when I woke up on Wednesday morning I was relieved and calm. I knew/know God is in control of this situation. And, without going into detail, I know that this whole thing is an answer to a silent prayer.
So, I wanted to share my Good news with you all, because that's what I do. I will now be able to live comfortably and not have to stay at home and not enjoy my life simply because I can only afford to put gas in my car. I believe that God placed me at Disney in order to learn somethings about myself that I can use in my future and I have learned alot. I'm so excited about my new place, that I can't forget to be "here" in the current place. I'm ready to move on and that's exciting.
I probably won't post more about this until I start the new job. By then you might not be able to shut me up!
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Pearl Jam, My Neighborhood and Memories
This has been a bittersweet week for me. My friend Annisa's father passed away and I went to the memorial service (Rosary) on Thursday night. I hadn't seen her father in a couple of years and hadn't seen her mother or brothers for even longer.
I saw them Thursday and it was an eye opener. Her brother Gabby, who's taking their father's death very hard, had some really nice things to say. Memories, that I remember, but with his perspective. I realized how much apart of the family I was for a time, and how much I missed them all since I've haven't been around.
Annisa's other brother Juanito (Juana, as I used to call him), is a different story. You know that person that will always give you butterflies...he's it for me. I realized on Thursday that, he was the first person that I ever really fell in love with and even after all this time, he still has a place in my heart. Don't get me wrong, there was never a relationship and there were many of us infatuated with him at the time and he's a bug ho. But it didn't matter, there was a time that I remember only having eyes for him.
The memorial service was sad (but I'm going to write about that in another post) until Annisa's uncle got up to say somethings...that's when a tear came to my eye. I remember some of the things he talked about, we all had a special time with Juan (who i called dad or pop). I didn't know many people there, but I could relate to what was said cause I had the same experiences with him as others did. He was a wonderful man, but I do believe he was heartbroken, he never showed it though. I will always remember going to Magic Mountain with him and the way he wanted to ride everything....he face was lit up like a kids and we had a great time. That was a fun day that I won't forget.
I was driving through my neighborhood the other day with the window down. There's something about a familiar smell that brings memories flooding back into your mind. That's what happened. I have issues with my neighborhood. I'd like to move away, but for now this is where I am and i can except that but I felt a longing for my neighborhood that I hadn't felt in a long time. Now, when I say my neighborhood I don't mean where my house is, I mean my old stomping grounds of Boyle Heights, where I went to school where I walked to the park and my grandma's house. Walking for High School to my house in the summer's slowly but surely losing friend's as we came to their houses and finally ended up by myself. Waiting for the bus by the Jack in the Box or going to Maria's house on the bus (and letting myself in with my key). Going from Light and Life to Evergreen Park and back. Walking to the market from my grandma's house and back.
It was nice to remember those things and to look at this place that I've started to feel so uncomfortable with with fond eyes. I do miss my neighborhood, the way it used to be when I lived in it. Before life took me to other places. Boyle Heights will always have a special fond place in my heart.
Pearl Jam....my favorite band! The first album I ever bought with my own money was Pearl Jam's debut album Ten...it was awesome and I listened to it all the time. I remember my dad wanting to hear it...I think he was surprised that bought a tape (it was a tape) but a "rock" band. Cause my previous taste in music was New Kids on the Block! (don't hate). Anywho, I loved them and their music and when the grunge argument of who's better Nirvana or Pearl Jam, I was firmly on the PJ side of it.
I bought their CD's after ten, most disappeared, my brother ruined my ten CD and never replaced it, but because of sites like you tube I can listen to them whenever I want! I love youtube! And I love Pearl Jam. If you don't know who they are...listen to the song Black off the album Ten....it's my favorite song of all time. ALL TIME. It's lovely and it's what made me fell in love with Eddie Vedders voice.
Enjoy!
I saw them Thursday and it was an eye opener. Her brother Gabby, who's taking their father's death very hard, had some really nice things to say. Memories, that I remember, but with his perspective. I realized how much apart of the family I was for a time, and how much I missed them all since I've haven't been around.
Annisa's other brother Juanito (Juana, as I used to call him), is a different story. You know that person that will always give you butterflies...he's it for me. I realized on Thursday that, he was the first person that I ever really fell in love with and even after all this time, he still has a place in my heart. Don't get me wrong, there was never a relationship and there were many of us infatuated with him at the time and he's a bug ho. But it didn't matter, there was a time that I remember only having eyes for him.
The memorial service was sad (but I'm going to write about that in another post) until Annisa's uncle got up to say somethings...that's when a tear came to my eye. I remember some of the things he talked about, we all had a special time with Juan (who i called dad or pop). I didn't know many people there, but I could relate to what was said cause I had the same experiences with him as others did. He was a wonderful man, but I do believe he was heartbroken, he never showed it though. I will always remember going to Magic Mountain with him and the way he wanted to ride everything....he face was lit up like a kids and we had a great time. That was a fun day that I won't forget.
I was driving through my neighborhood the other day with the window down. There's something about a familiar smell that brings memories flooding back into your mind. That's what happened. I have issues with my neighborhood. I'd like to move away, but for now this is where I am and i can except that but I felt a longing for my neighborhood that I hadn't felt in a long time. Now, when I say my neighborhood I don't mean where my house is, I mean my old stomping grounds of Boyle Heights, where I went to school where I walked to the park and my grandma's house. Walking for High School to my house in the summer's slowly but surely losing friend's as we came to their houses and finally ended up by myself. Waiting for the bus by the Jack in the Box or going to Maria's house on the bus (and letting myself in with my key). Going from Light and Life to Evergreen Park and back. Walking to the market from my grandma's house and back.
It was nice to remember those things and to look at this place that I've started to feel so uncomfortable with with fond eyes. I do miss my neighborhood, the way it used to be when I lived in it. Before life took me to other places. Boyle Heights will always have a special fond place in my heart.
Pearl Jam....my favorite band! The first album I ever bought with my own money was Pearl Jam's debut album Ten...it was awesome and I listened to it all the time. I remember my dad wanting to hear it...I think he was surprised that bought a tape (it was a tape) but a "rock" band. Cause my previous taste in music was New Kids on the Block! (don't hate). Anywho, I loved them and their music and when the grunge argument of who's better Nirvana or Pearl Jam, I was firmly on the PJ side of it.
I bought their CD's after ten, most disappeared, my brother ruined my ten CD and never replaced it, but because of sites like you tube I can listen to them whenever I want! I love youtube! And I love Pearl Jam. If you don't know who they are...listen to the song Black off the album Ten....it's my favorite song of all time. ALL TIME. It's lovely and it's what made me fell in love with Eddie Vedders voice.
Enjoy!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Life is short, precious and once, don't take that for granted!
I watched a man have a seizure today, I watched him fall and lay rolling around on the ground trying to breathe! I also saw the aftermath when he attempted to "walk it off" (I guess). In that moment I felt so hopeless, so helpless, there was nothing I could do, my natural instinct to run over and help was thwarted by the rules of my job and in truth, what would I have done?
Nothing really, I don't know how to handle that situation so in my ignorance I probably would have hurt him or myself. Over the last few weeks, I've been trying to find some prospective on life and I think after searching it landed in front of me today.
Life is short and we let the meaningless get in the way to much sometimes. Forgiveness isn't so much for the other but for you. Love should be shared with all and happiness is contagious, so spread it. Don't take those around you for granted and love those who make it hard to love. Remember the person you hate could care less, that hatred is your burden not theirs, let it go.
Until Next Time...
I watched a man have a seizure today, I watched him fall and lay rolling around on the ground trying to breathe! I also saw the aftermath when he attempted to "walk it off" (I guess). In that moment I felt so hopeless, so helpless, there was nothing I could do, my natural instinct to run over and help was thwarted by the rules of my job and in truth, what would I have done?
Nothing really, I don't know how to handle that situation so in my ignorance I probably would have hurt him or myself. Over the last few weeks, I've been trying to find some prospective on life and I think after searching it landed in front of me today.
Life is short and we let the meaningless get in the way to much sometimes. Forgiveness isn't so much for the other but for you. Love should be shared with all and happiness is contagious, so spread it. Don't take those around you for granted and love those who make it hard to love. Remember the person you hate could care less, that hatred is your burden not theirs, let it go.
Until Next Time...
Monday, September 22, 2008
Free Flow
Open your eyes to the sky above you and listen to the rain fall,
Sometimes you've got to pick yourself up and make the changes you need to make to get by
I've walked a long time to get what I want and still I have to walk more for it to be in my reach
Cherish your life, cause when it's gone it's gone...time is precious life is wonderful.
Watch the wind blow the trees
Watch the people go by, take time to watch life...then take time to live it.
There is always a time to sit back and enjoy what the hard work brings...don't let it pass you
Find the music of your heart, the soundtrack of your life and move with it.
No, let it move you
Remind yourself those who don't have but don't become disillusioned.
There's a plan in place that we can't see but if we don't do our part we will never find what's in store
Make mistakes....learn from them....learn from others....learn!
As we are reminded everyday....life is short, so don't let it pass you by....live it!
Sometimes you've got to pick yourself up and make the changes you need to make to get by
I've walked a long time to get what I want and still I have to walk more for it to be in my reach
Cherish your life, cause when it's gone it's gone...time is precious life is wonderful.
Watch the wind blow the trees
Watch the people go by, take time to watch life...then take time to live it.
There is always a time to sit back and enjoy what the hard work brings...don't let it pass you
Find the music of your heart, the soundtrack of your life and move with it.
No, let it move you
Remind yourself those who don't have but don't become disillusioned.
There's a plan in place that we can't see but if we don't do our part we will never find what's in store
Make mistakes....learn from them....learn from others....learn!
As we are reminded everyday....life is short, so don't let it pass you by....live it!
Something you may need to hear
I just wrote a word of encouragement to my friend. And after I sent it I sat thinking about how I knew it was what she needed. In truth, I could be really off, with what I said and she could be thoroughly confused. But because the way the words flowed out of me I'm thinking it was the right thing to say. Now after thinking about it, I believe God wants me to give the same (almost) words to someone who reads this blog....it could be one of you, it could be all...I hope that whoever needs to hear it does.
Just wait, it's coming...God has a plan for you and his plan happens in HIS time. It's a reminder that we all need to hear sometimes. You're probably frustrated and have grown impatient, but don't give up or in. Things are coming and you are being prepared for them. There's a light at the end of the tunnel that you might not be able to see yet, but keep walking...run your fingers against the wall and keep pushing forward. And when you fall put your hands in the air and He will lift you up onto your feet. Remember that sometimes, you need to talk...that why He surrounded you with the people around you. Also remember that times He's not only preparing you for what ahead He's also preparing them.
Hope that helps...love you!
Just wait, it's coming...God has a plan for you and his plan happens in HIS time. It's a reminder that we all need to hear sometimes. You're probably frustrated and have grown impatient, but don't give up or in. Things are coming and you are being prepared for them. There's a light at the end of the tunnel that you might not be able to see yet, but keep walking...run your fingers against the wall and keep pushing forward. And when you fall put your hands in the air and He will lift you up onto your feet. Remember that sometimes, you need to talk...that why He surrounded you with the people around you. Also remember that times He's not only preparing you for what ahead He's also preparing them.
Hope that helps...love you!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Misc...
So I haven't written in a while because I haven't had anything to write about. Life's been pretty mundane and down right boring...but I should write something so here are some tidbits to tied us all over until I find something to write about....
I bought a new alarm clock, my old one died in the middle of the night, luckily I wake up and look at the clock at least once every night so I noticed it before I over slept. The new one is pretty cool. Its a clock radio and it does all these neat things...and it works, which is the important thing.
Came to the park with my family on Tuesday (9/16) to celebrate my brothers birthday. We had fun, but at about 5 I was done and ready to go. It was a long day.
I went by my old job to say hi to the people I like and ignore everyone else. The drama never ends there but at least people seem to be leaving to better themselves. And I realized I don't miss it as much as I thought I did.
Washington Mutual is in the crapper get your money out soon.
Finally (I know someone may ask about this so I'm just going to say it). Next year's theme at the Disney Parks and Resorts is "A Time to Celebrate/What are you Celebrating" something to that effect. And it was announced that you can come into the parks for free on your birthday...yes free...but here's the catch. You can't just show up and say its my birthday let me in. You have to register with Disney, probably via Disney.com and you have to provide proof of your birth date upon arrival. So, if you are thinking about coming to the park on your birthday for free in 09, please do the research and don't embarrass yourself at the gate. And please don't claim to know me cause I ain't gonna help you if you're acting like a crazy person.
I bought a new alarm clock, my old one died in the middle of the night, luckily I wake up and look at the clock at least once every night so I noticed it before I over slept. The new one is pretty cool. Its a clock radio and it does all these neat things...and it works, which is the important thing.
Came to the park with my family on Tuesday (9/16) to celebrate my brothers birthday. We had fun, but at about 5 I was done and ready to go. It was a long day.
I went by my old job to say hi to the people I like and ignore everyone else. The drama never ends there but at least people seem to be leaving to better themselves. And I realized I don't miss it as much as I thought I did.
Washington Mutual is in the crapper get your money out soon.
Finally (I know someone may ask about this so I'm just going to say it). Next year's theme at the Disney Parks and Resorts is "A Time to Celebrate/What are you Celebrating" something to that effect. And it was announced that you can come into the parks for free on your birthday...yes free...but here's the catch. You can't just show up and say its my birthday let me in. You have to register with Disney, probably via Disney.com and you have to provide proof of your birth date upon arrival. So, if you are thinking about coming to the park on your birthday for free in 09, please do the research and don't embarrass yourself at the gate. And please don't claim to know me cause I ain't gonna help you if you're acting like a crazy person.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
You Tube
So, youtube is like one of the greatest inventions to come along with this new age of the internet. You can go on their and create your own web identity or like me use it to search for interesting content and old videos you saw 15 years ago!!!
I was on youtube earlier today and watched info on the Musical Wicked, old hair band music videos and behind the scenes footage of Idina Menzel making her album. I've never made a video for youtube, but I do enjoy watching what others have made. It also keeps me connected to one of my favorite bands (GIRLS ALOUD) who are from the UK and don't have any music in the US. I really appreciate the people who take the time to upload videos....also I appreciate the people who run fansites, cause those are cool too.
So if, for some reason, you haven't tried youtube...go there now and type in something from your past and see what comes up! It's cool, really it is!
I was on youtube earlier today and watched info on the Musical Wicked, old hair band music videos and behind the scenes footage of Idina Menzel making her album. I've never made a video for youtube, but I do enjoy watching what others have made. It also keeps me connected to one of my favorite bands (GIRLS ALOUD) who are from the UK and don't have any music in the US. I really appreciate the people who take the time to upload videos....also I appreciate the people who run fansites, cause those are cool too.
So if, for some reason, you haven't tried youtube...go there now and type in something from your past and see what comes up! It's cool, really it is!
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Perspective
Sometimes you think to yourself, "nothing surprises me anymore", then something you least expected surprises you. I'm going through that right not, the only thing is it really doesn't surprise me, more like wow, that was a bold and nonsensical thing to do or say.
People are illrational (I don't think that's a real word) sometimes and you have to weed through their craziness in order to get to the truth. But the truth is hard to define. We all see truth differently, two people may watch or witness the samething, but because of their background or experiences they'll take it in and process it in a completely different way.
Differences are what make us special and unique but they can also be the cause of misunderstandings, prejudice and general saddness around us. I try my best to see things from others perspectives, to see what I may not see and to feel how they may feel because of an experience suffered in their past. I try to do that with the people around me...sometimes I'm successful, sometimes I'm not. And then there are other times when I think, wish and hope that people would stop and try to do that for me. I guess I'll never actually know if that hope was rewarded. But right now I feel like its hopeless.
People are illrational (I don't think that's a real word) sometimes and you have to weed through their craziness in order to get to the truth. But the truth is hard to define. We all see truth differently, two people may watch or witness the samething, but because of their background or experiences they'll take it in and process it in a completely different way.
Differences are what make us special and unique but they can also be the cause of misunderstandings, prejudice and general saddness around us. I try my best to see things from others perspectives, to see what I may not see and to feel how they may feel because of an experience suffered in their past. I try to do that with the people around me...sometimes I'm successful, sometimes I'm not. And then there are other times when I think, wish and hope that people would stop and try to do that for me. I guess I'll never actually know if that hope was rewarded. But right now I feel like its hopeless.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
hiatus
I'm going on hiatus, not from this blog but from the world, I need to be alone with myself and my thoughts. I need to plan and decide what I want from my life. I need to pray and find what I want from the people around me and how best to relay that information to them, because my current way isn't working. So I'm going to try something different.
Thanks Kristi and MM for your support
Thanks Kristi and MM for your support
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Sometimes...
you see signs that you ignore because you're not ready to take the truth at face value. I sometimes wonder why I lock myself away and cover my head with pillows, it seems that the world has it out for me.
When people disappoint me I look at myself and wonder what I did to make them act that way. But sometimes, the signs I chose to ignore clarify that it was never really my fault at all. I'm always too eager to love people and be loved back. THAT'S MY BIGGEST FLAW!!! I crave love, I crave being cared about and I try to give that to others. So when I am hurt, it's devastating to me, it breaks my heart and my head can't wrap itself around it.
I've put my heart away and I don't know if I will ever really be ready to take it back out. The unfortunate thing is the people who hurt you never know because if they were really looking at you they would have seen the signs that you were slowly starting to fall apart.
I sometimes dote on certain people on this page...that's because those are the folks I always feel I can count on... sometimes you realize that you can't count on everyone you think you can.
When people disappoint me I look at myself and wonder what I did to make them act that way. But sometimes, the signs I chose to ignore clarify that it was never really my fault at all. I'm always too eager to love people and be loved back. THAT'S MY BIGGEST FLAW!!! I crave love, I crave being cared about and I try to give that to others. So when I am hurt, it's devastating to me, it breaks my heart and my head can't wrap itself around it.
I've put my heart away and I don't know if I will ever really be ready to take it back out. The unfortunate thing is the people who hurt you never know because if they were really looking at you they would have seen the signs that you were slowly starting to fall apart.
I sometimes dote on certain people on this page...that's because those are the folks I always feel I can count on... sometimes you realize that you can't count on everyone you think you can.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
TV Sucks
I've realizes since I've been housesitting this week, that Television sucks nuggets!
I'm used to coming home and finding things I've recorded on my DVR, but since I'm not at home and I'm not recording stuff on my DVR, I'm realizing that the current state of television is just crappy.
There's nothing on but reruns and old movies that I've seen a thousand times, and I'm tired of it. It's all ridiculous! Reality shows suck, regular shows suck and all we have left is commercials... but those suck too. So I'm left to surfing the web, which you can only do for so long. I should probably go to bed, but it's still early so I'm just gonna to sit here and on go too crazy.
And keep surfing the web!
New Posts
I just posted some new poems I've written, one is old (from last year) the others came to me over the past five days I was out of town. I tried something different, I allowed my brain to work unhindered allowing the words to flow out of me and not stop them. In the end, as I was editing, I enjoyed them so much that I didn't change anything I allowed them to be what they are.
I don't write for anyone but myself, so if these poems don't reveal themselves to you, then oh well, I'm not going to worry about it. If they do, then I'm sure you get something different out of them then anyone else does. Please don't call me and ask if there's anything wrong either, my writing is mine, if there's something wrong with me that's my problem. And besides there's something wrong with all of us.
Enjoy them if you will, and if you don't... to bad!
The World From a Place
Sitting above the heavens to catch a glimpse of earth below, like a magic veil being lifted from my eyes I see the contrasting of colors, textures and terrain
I am lost in wonder as my world and skies are laid bare before me. Clouds of white cotton soft unimposing, but protective of whats below, kiss my feet with cool lightness quickly moving on to their next victim, leaving me breathless and undeniably eager for more.
It this where the angels tread? Their wings fluttering through the gaps where sunlight shines down to earth? Or is this place so perfect that God did not intend us to see it, but we defied him as always, seeking the knowledge he reserved for himself ? To that thought I am partial. I am in awe of the quiet beyond my window and yearn to sit on a cloud and watch the world unfold below me.
Vast as an ocean of green, brown, white and blue hues. Cities of lights, deserts bare and trails cut deep I cannot distinguish them but am content to do nothing but watch the time pass from my perch.
The sun beats my back and I am drawn into the my cool cotton home and listen to things I do not understand or care to.
I am home, in heaven, in this perfect place above the clouds where my heart is content and wants nothing more.
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Fill my heart with contentment and make me believe that all is well.
Listen to my whines with compassion, tell me no lies, remind me of love and passion
Kiss me with all you are believe me and my heart as I believe yours
Let us lye together in silence while the outside world spins around us
I am you and you are me, we need say nothing our minds are one
Like flower and field we are together for all time
Love me so your heart desires, I need you more to be my all
Lead me onto air and mystery
Make me your woman as I make you my and our love shall never end
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