Life is short, precious and once, don't take that for granted!
I watched a man have a seizure today, I watched him fall and lay rolling around on the ground trying to breathe! I also saw the aftermath when he attempted to "walk it off" (I guess). In that moment I felt so hopeless, so helpless, there was nothing I could do, my natural instinct to run over and help was thwarted by the rules of my job and in truth, what would I have done?
Nothing really, I don't know how to handle that situation so in my ignorance I probably would have hurt him or myself. Over the last few weeks, I've been trying to find some prospective on life and I think after searching it landed in front of me today.
Life is short and we let the meaningless get in the way to much sometimes. Forgiveness isn't so much for the other but for you. Love should be shared with all and happiness is contagious, so spread it. Don't take those around you for granted and love those who make it hard to love. Remember the person you hate could care less, that hatred is your burden not theirs, let it go.

Until Next Time...

Free Flow

Open your eyes to the sky above you and listen to the rain fall,


Sometimes you've got to pick yourself up and make the changes you need to make to get by


I've walked a long time to get what I want and still I have to walk more for it to be in my reach


Cherish your life, cause when it's gone it's gone...time is precious life is wonderful.


Watch the wind blow the trees


Watch the people go by, take time to watch life...then take time to live it.


There is always a time to sit back and enjoy what the hard work brings...don't let it pass you


Find the music of your heart, the soundtrack of your life and move with it.


No, let it move you


Remind yourself those who don't have but don't become disillusioned.


There's a plan in place that we can't see but if we don't do our part we will never find what's in store


Make mistakes....learn from them....learn from others....learn!


As we are reminded everyday....life is short, so don't let it pass you by....live it!

Something you may need to hear

I just wrote a word of encouragement to my friend. And after I sent it I sat thinking about how I knew it was what she needed. In truth, I could be really off, with what I said and she could be thoroughly confused. But because the way the words flowed out of me I'm thinking it was the right thing to say. Now after thinking about it, I believe God wants me to give the same (almost) words to someone who reads this blog....it could be one of you, it could be all...I hope that whoever needs to hear it does.


Just wait, it's coming...God has a plan for you and his plan happens in HIS time. It's a reminder that we all need to hear sometimes. You're probably frustrated and have grown impatient, but don't give up or in. Things are coming and you are being prepared for them. There's a light at the end of the tunnel that you might not be able to see yet, but keep walking...run your fingers against the wall and keep pushing forward. And when you fall put your hands in the air and He will lift you up onto your feet. Remember that sometimes, you need to talk...that why He surrounded you with the people around you. Also remember that times He's not only preparing you for what ahead He's also preparing them.


Hope that helps...love you!

Misc...

So I haven't written in a while because I haven't had anything to write about. Life's been pretty mundane and down right boring...but I should write something so here are some tidbits to tied us all over until I find something to write about....


I bought a new alarm clock, my old one died in the middle of the night, luckily I wake up and look at the clock at least once every night so I noticed it before I over slept. The new one is pretty cool. Its a clock radio and it does all these neat things...and it works, which is the important thing.
Came to the park with my family on Tuesday (9/16) to celebrate my brothers birthday. We had fun, but at about 5 I was done and ready to go. It was a long day.
I went by my old job to say hi to the people I like and ignore everyone else. The drama never ends there but at least people seem to be leaving to better themselves. And I realized I don't miss it as much as I thought I did.

Washington Mutual is in the crapper get your money out soon.

Finally (I know someone may ask about this so I'm just going to say it). Next year's theme at the Disney Parks and Resorts is "A Time to Celebrate/What are you Celebrating" something to that effect. And it was announced that you can come into the parks for free on your birthday...yes free...but here's the catch. You can't just show up and say its my birthday let me in. You have to register with Disney, probably via Disney.com and you have to provide proof of your birth date upon arrival. So, if you are thinking about coming to the park on your birthday for free in 09, please do the research and don't embarrass yourself at the gate. And please don't claim to know me cause I ain't gonna help you if you're acting like a crazy person.

You Tube

So, youtube is like one of the greatest inventions to come along with this new age of the internet. You can go on their and create your own web identity or like me use it to search for interesting content and old videos you saw 15 years ago!!!

I was on youtube earlier today and watched info on the Musical Wicked, old hair band music videos and behind the scenes footage of Idina Menzel making her album. I've never made a video for youtube, but I do enjoy watching what others have made. It also keeps me connected to one of my favorite bands (GIRLS ALOUD) who are from the UK and don't have any music in the US. I really appreciate the people who take the time to upload videos....also I appreciate the people who run fansites, cause those are cool too.

So if, for some reason, you haven't tried youtube...go there now and type in something from your past and see what comes up! It's cool, really it is!

Perspective

Sometimes you think to yourself, "nothing surprises me anymore", then something you least expected surprises you. I'm going through that right not, the only thing is it really doesn't surprise me, more like wow, that was a bold and nonsensical thing to do or say.
People are illrational (I don't think that's a real word) sometimes and you have to weed through their craziness in order to get to the truth. But the truth is hard to define. We all see truth differently, two people may watch or witness the samething, but because of their background or experiences they'll take it in and process it in a completely different way.
Differences are what make us special and unique but they can also be the cause of misunderstandings, prejudice and general saddness around us. I try my best to see things from others perspectives, to see what I may not see and to feel how they may feel because of an experience suffered in their past. I try to do that with the people around me...sometimes I'm successful, sometimes I'm not. And then there are other times when I think, wish and hope that people would stop and try to do that for me. I guess I'll never actually know if that hope was rewarded. But right now I feel like its hopeless.

hiatus

I'm going on hiatus, not from this blog but from the world, I need to be alone with myself and my thoughts. I need to plan and decide what I want from my life. I need to pray and find what I want from the people around me and how best to relay that information to them, because my current way isn't working. So I'm going to try something different.
Thanks Kristi and MM for your support

Sometimes...

you see signs that you ignore because you're not ready to take the truth at face value. I sometimes wonder why I lock myself away and cover my head with pillows, it seems that the world has it out for me.
When people disappoint me I look at myself and wonder what I did to make them act that way. But sometimes, the signs I chose to ignore clarify that it was never really my fault at all. I'm always too eager to love people and be loved back. THAT'S MY BIGGEST FLAW!!! I crave love, I crave being cared about and I try to give that to others. So when I am hurt, it's devastating to me, it breaks my heart and my head can't wrap itself around it.
I've put my heart away and I don't know if I will ever really be ready to take it back out. The unfortunate thing is the people who hurt you never know because if they were really looking at you they would have seen the signs that you were slowly starting to fall apart.
I sometimes dote on certain people on this page...that's because those are the folks I always feel I can count on... sometimes you realize that you can't count on everyone you think you can.

TV Sucks

I've realizes since I've been housesitting this week, that Television sucks nuggets!

I'm used to coming home and finding things I've recorded on my DVR, but since I'm not at home and I'm not recording stuff on my DVR, I'm realizing that the current state of television is just crappy.

There's nothing on but reruns and old movies that I've seen a thousand times, and I'm tired of it. It's all ridiculous! Reality shows suck, regular shows suck and all we have left is commercials... but those suck too. So I'm left to surfing the web, which you can only do for so long. I should probably go to bed, but it's still early so I'm just gonna to sit here and on go too crazy.

And keep surfing the web!

New Posts

I just posted some new poems I've written, one is old (from last year) the others came to me over the past five days I was out of town. I tried something different, I allowed my brain to work unhindered allowing the words to flow out of me and not stop them. In the end, as I was editing, I enjoyed them so much that I didn't change anything I allowed them to be what they are.


I don't write for anyone but myself, so if these poems don't reveal themselves to you, then oh well, I'm not going to worry about it. If they do, then I'm sure you get something different out of them then anyone else does. Please don't call me and ask if there's anything wrong either, my writing is mine, if there's something wrong with me that's my problem. And besides there's something wrong with all of us.


Enjoy them if you will, and if you don't... to bad!

The World From a Place

Sitting above the heavens to catch a glimpse of earth below, like a magic veil being lifted from my eyes I see the contrasting of colors, textures and terrain
I am lost in wonder as my world and skies are laid bare before me. Clouds of white cotton soft unimposing, but protective of whats below, kiss my feet with cool lightness quickly moving on to their next victim, leaving me breathless and undeniably eager for more.
It this where the angels tread? Their wings fluttering through the gaps where sunlight shines down to earth? Or is this place so perfect that God did not intend us to see it, but we defied him as always, seeking the knowledge he reserved for himself ? To that thought I am partial. I am in awe of the quiet beyond my window and yearn to sit on a cloud and watch the world unfold below me.
Vast as an ocean of green, brown, white and blue hues. Cities of lights, deserts bare and trails cut deep I cannot distinguish them but am content to do nothing but watch the time pass from my perch.
The sun beats my back and I am drawn into the my cool cotton home and listen to things I do not understand or care to.
I am home, in heaven, in this perfect place above the clouds where my heart is content and wants nothing more.

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Fill my heart with contentment and make me believe that all is well.
Listen to my whines with compassion, tell me no lies, remind me of love and passion
Kiss me with all you are believe me and my heart as I believe yours
Let us lye together in silence while the outside world spins around us
I am you and you are me, we need say nothing our minds are one
Like flower and field we are together for all time
Love me so your heart desires, I need you more to be my all
Lead me onto air and mystery
Make me your woman as I make you my and our love shall never end

Mistake nothing you have seen as truth, there is none here. Only shadows and lies of plenty, moving curiously through ages of folk who know nothing more than old wives tales passed down through generations of misguided elders.

Nothing in this world is folly; all is fake. Fields spring forth to nothingness and freeze in winter's depth. Summer rides eastern skies and triumphs as knocking doors cringe at heat. I am a rock of unyielding strength that cries as sorrow spreads.

Wake my mind if you dare and I will run you bare with gospel and toil, remove yourself from me but take heed at my words for I am the lies that you have heard.

March yourself into the fire, make yourself right in the lord and see the falling of all this earth. I am the message that you speak; all men shiver and fall before me.

Sleep in your dreams with care and suspicion for I am your Eden. Search no more for truth, this place has none for you.

Find yourself a manner in which to dwell and sell the secret you should not tell, for my words are death in it's simplest form... to covet, to clutch, to yearn, to warn.

I am the seeker set on path to guide those that must be glad to find themselves a way to see the truth behind beautiful things men create to show their charms and women wear upon their breast and me, I can assuredly attest that all is not above the rest, there is no place for rotten shores in heaven rigid corridors, I find myself a slight enemy to the nothingness that pursues me.

So hear my words oh sullen folk, drink the truth that I spoke and convince yourself of this fact; the truth is a lie more neatly wrapped.

Work In Progress

I am a work in progress...
A product of growth between promises that turned to lies and scarred the people who raised me.
I am a confused specimen carrying the load of someone else's burdens felt deep within my heart as if they were my own.
I am a child of a community that looks on me as if I were a stranger, but they don't know the history that surrounds my name.
I am a child of Reaganomics, R and B dominance... born when New Wave took hold and Disco cut it's own throat
I am that girl you see who yearns to be free but under the surface I've tied myself to a tree
I am silently trying not to be my father's child when my anger takes hold of me and all I know is that he's scolded me because I didn't put the pillow back in the right place...
Silently trying not to be my mother's daughter when she hit me in the face with her belt buckle... no apologizes, just disgrace...
I am the inexcusable result of years of abuse, the punishment of self that only a child can endure... aching, pleading, dying
I am the star of my own sitcom based on the non formal sense of normality
I am an unopened gift of regret and doubt, the lack of anger increases that which is not of worth
I am the childless mother who longs to hold the warmth of her child in her arms and cries when she must let go


I am...

I'm Back!!!!

hey here's a link to some pictures from my trip. There are pictures on this site that I took and some that Mike took, I don't think that Amber and Paul's are up yet. But feel free to enjoy them!



Not all of my pictures are up yet and they probably won't be for a while, so bare with me, they should all be up by the of next week.


I will definitely post something about my trip at a later time (maybe tomorrow), I just haven't had anytime to do it since I got here. See ya, enjoy the pics




http://www.eczema-nuts.com/gallery

hello Ipod update

Fortunately for everyone involved, my ipod has been retored to it's former glory! My music was still there and all I had to do was sync my Ipod to the Itunes system. I'm very happy and have since then import more music for my enjoyment.
See Ya!

Idaho here I come...

I was going to write this tomorrow but I'm not going to have anytime, so here we go!

I am leaving for Idaho tomorrow night, I will be there for one week with my best friend Amber, her husband Paul and Paul's best friend Mike. We are visiting their parents in Lewiston for five fun filled days.
I'm really looking forward to the experience and seeing another one of our great United States! (actually two)...We are flying into Spokane tomorrow night and from LAX, our flight should be cool, I'll have the window seat...awesome.
I'm really excited and happy to be away from work (which has been very trying lately) and being able to get a rest, it's going to be good. So, I should have to stories and pictures coming soon, but I won't be writing until at least the next Wednesday
I'll see you then!

Ipod/Itunes

The Ipod/Itunes situation at my house is outta control. My mom and I are the only two people with Ipods, but my parents don't really know how to work Itunes. In fact, our Itunes has been down because my dad did something while my ipod was syncing and I had stepped away from the computer. So although the itunes interface works (I can still import music and charge and sync my Ipod) we can't get onto the Itunes site to buy and download new music. I've known this for about 3 months and tried to get it working again, but it doesn't. My dad only found out about it last week and has been freaking out ever since. Because of what he did all their music is gone! And they can't get it back cause they can't get on the site to do so.
So last night my dad asks me if I still had his music on my Ipod....he used my ipod for jury duty, he broke the headphones and refuses to replace them, now even if I did have his music still, I wouldn't let him use my ipod again, so what he could break something else?
When I told him I didn't have it, I mentioned that they could still import music onto the itunes interface, he decided (after sitting in the car blaring his music and disturbing everyone!) to add a Michael Jackson Cd to his interface. Well, my Ipod was charging at the time and when he opened up Itunes it started to Sync. I caught what he was doing and tried to get over there before he could ruin my Ipod and I thought I caught him, but I didn't! He noticed that all my music was on his screen and asked me why, I told him because he let it snyc, so all my stuff showed up on his screen....
Fast forward to this morning, on the shuttle from the parking lot to the park, I took out my Ipod and got ready to listen, only to find out that all...I repeat ALL my music is gone. So what am I supposed to do, I leave on vacation in 4 days and I don't have anytime to replace my music if its totally lost...I'm so mad!

Now my dad is saying that I erased all the music, I did erase my music from his interface screen, but I had already unplugged my Ipod, because he was messing stuff up. So again he's messed up my Ipod and it's my fault. It's ridiculous but he just doesn't get it...cause "he knows what he's doing", yeah right!

Harry Potter, July 2009

So, here are some things you should know about me....(don't worry I'll get to the title of this post soon enough).
I'm the oldest child of Randal and Shirley Slayton, my parents have been together 31 OR 32 years. I have one sibling named Randal Jr. and I've lived and gone to school in East Los Angeles, Boyle Heights, City Terrace all my life.
I sing and write and make a fool out of myself on a regular basis and I love the people around me, even if I don't tell them enough. I wouldn't allow you in my life if I didn't love you! I love to listen to music...some of my earliest memories involve music, because my father is a musician. I love to read and I love to watch movies.
Reading and movies are the same thing to me...if a book is done right, while you read it, there should be a picture in your head continuously playing out what you read like a movie. It should take you away from the place you are and transport you into the world the author has created. In that same token, a movie does the same thing. I love movies because I can be completely lost in a world I don't belong to. Sometimes its an epic adventure, sometimes its heartache, sometimes love. But all these things are wonderful stories that sweep me away to a place where nothing else matters for a short amount of time.

Some of my favorite books have recently been turned into movies....Lord of the Rings, Twilight (which is a new favorite, but still I couldn't put the book down) and of course, the Harry Potter Saga. I learned with LOTR that I can't be disappointed with a movie version of a book, I have to learn to appreciate it on a separate plain. It's different and that's okay, as long as the director is trying to stay true while, trying to deliver his/her best work.
I love the LOTR Trilogy and am grateful for the work Peter Jackson did on it, and for the fact the he tried to stay as true as possible while also trying to deliver a great film/s. Even though my love for the Harry Potter Universe runs as deep as the world of Arda, I am not quite so in love with all of the HP movies like I am with LOTR.
I understand that WB couldn't hire the same director to do all 7 (or 8) HP films, but I do question some of their choices. For Prisoner of Azkaban, WB hired Alfonso Curion, who had won great acclaim for his work the year before, but it seemed to me like he took the previous movies and book and threw them out the window turning the HP world into a horrible reinterpretation of itself. He jacked up the timeline and confused people, even those of us who read the book! Even though his misguided attempt made money, I am sad to say that I refuse to watch the movie when it's on. That is my least favorite HP movie, but it seems like later directors took their lead from that third film and started building theirs on top of the shady foundation. A joke I think, even though the material does get darker, big things changed that just don't make sense (I'm not going to get into them cause this is already long!).
Now, I don't agree with everything done in the movies, but I do plan my year around when the next HP is coming out (I know, it's sad). This year there where only a handful of films I knew I wanted to see when we rang in the new year....

Prince Caspian
Wanted
The Dark Knight
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

You all now that I was upset that I hadn't seen a trailer, but rejoiced when I finally did. Now I hear that the last movie of the year (beside twilight) that I wanted desperately to see has been pushed back to July 2009! The blame is being put on the write strike! But I think that just a bunch of crap! It's about the money. The WB has made enough money to cover the misguided and horrible Speed Racer, The Dark Knight and now Harry Potter.
They have made the money back that they spent on those films and now don't feel like they need to put Harry out now, save to make money next summer. Well that sucks, you can't have one of you two biggest franchises list for a year as coming out a certain day, give us fans a trailer and then say "Well you know, maybe next year!" This isn't the world series this is even more important especially to people like me, who go to the movies and enter a world to lose themselves and forget about their troubles.
I'm so disappointed!

Pissed off

As you know I work in the Guest Research Department at Disneyland, which means I conduct surveys throughout the resort. And I although I can't tell you about them, I can use some terminology that you help you understand how we do things.
We have entrance surveys, roaming surveys and exit surveys. Today, I had the privilege of being at work ay 6:30 am, in order to conduct "special" morning suvreys while roaming around the park.
Well, while I was roaming, the other 4 people preforming this task with me weren't, no they (against direct instructions from the manager) stood in one or two spots the entire time. While I was walking around a good portion of the park getting rejected, they were grabing people easily off of rides and as they got to the end of main street.
Needless to say I didn't get anyhwere near the amount I was supposed to, and it made the start of my day that more terrible.