Revelation

  I woke up this morning...thinking about a conversation I had the other day...about words that were used to describe a situation..."getting back to normal" all I could think of was, "God, I hope not". Because normal in that case wasn't exactly ideal. It was the perfect fairy tale life that people from the outside saw looking through the rose colored windows of that house. In truth, I think that after the nightmare of this past year, normal is what they should be trying to stay away from...then it hit me.
  The things that I've seen recently, the relationship trails I witnessed are just that. Trails I'm witnessing! You see, these aren't my relationships and though I know I'm not privy to all that goes on in these marriages (nor do I care to be) I did think I knew quite a bit. But still I'm on the outside only hearing one side of the story, forming my own conclusions and opinions on what I've seen and heard. Here's the thing...I'm wrong.
  I realize that I will never know the true inner workings of someone else's relationship. Therefore, no matter what I think or say my opinion, in the long run, doesn't matter! A few months ago I sent one of my best friends' husbands an email. I thanked him for the care he showed for her when she really needed it. You see I've never fully understood him, he and I have differing personalities so he's hard for me to read, but I just never viewed him as the wonderful man and husband he truly is. I didn't think he was bad...just, I don't know, maybe a little aloof? The response I got was really hurtful at the time, but now I understand it. He basically said, that from the outside I can never see whats truly going on on the inside. And though I was hurt, I had to respect him because, well, he was right (Randy you were right!).
  That's where I am now, I can't know...I can't know what a woman is willing to put herself or her children through. I can't know what a woman is willing to take and I can't know what a man is willing to settle for. In the relationships I've watched sink, I've seen different things. Things that I tell myself I wouldn't put up with...but when I get into a relationship, when I'm in the grind everyday and the unknown goods and bads...when I love that other person so much it hurts, what will I be willing to put up with? That's the question I have to tackle now. That's the question I have to be ready to answer when the time comes. 
   It's easy to sit back and play referee from the stands...and it's easy to be disappointed when you see someone give into what you think is the wrong idea. But what I think really doesn't matter.