I've always been an observer...in recent years I've observed lots of different things and people, always looking for what to do and what not to do. Well, from the relationships around me I feel like I've learn a great deal. The one thing I've come to realize that can/will overwhelmingly influence a relationship is the word partnership.
   No not just the word, but the meaning and definition behind it. I've seen marriages built to last and marriages built to fail, but the one defining attribute to all the outlasting ones is that they have a true partnership. In recently watching marriages crumble and falter I've noticed that the partnerships in all were one sided. One person doing all the work to make the relationship work. One person going the extra mile while the other just complained or sat around doing nothing.
   I know hindsight is 20/20 and I know that I always think I'm right about things, but like I said I'm an observer and I have mad skills! I like to look at the glass half full, but if I see a pattern I can pretty much call the outcome. If your relationship is not a true partnership before you get married, or if you think you're going to change them after you get married.  Then I'm sorry to tell you this but you're wrong...


   That's what I've seen, that's my experience in the matter. The partnership has to start before you even get to the "engaged' portion of the relationship. And sorry but just because you have been with someone a long time doesn't mean you have to marry them. Sometimes you have to see that person for who/what they really are and your relationship for what it really is. I'm a girl who's grown up with the dream of having a big ring and big wedding, but sometimes the rock is too blinding to see all the cracks in the relationship...
    Let's start this way, if his mom is ever present, she's not going away after you get married. If he doesn't do anything now, he won't do anything then. And the big one, if you have to beg, threaten or give an ultimatum for him to propose then, it's not going to work out in the end.


    We as people have to see ourselves for the true jewels we are and stop selling ourselves short for a small bit of instant satisfaction when there's a lifetime of true joy waiting for you around the corner (at least that's what I'm betting). I've seen people around me run head first into the brick wall called their relationship because they thought something would change...and in my opinion, they didn't value themselves enough.
     Ultimately I'm sadden, maybe if we waited a little longer truly valuing the partnership that is marriage the we wouldn't have such a high divorce rate and single parent homes wouldn't be single parent homes.


      But that's just my opinion!