Wrapping Up 2010

 For me 2010 started out on a very happy note. I had reconnected with some friends and was experiencing new things (like a day in the snow...which was wonderful). The year flowed it's merry way into the months but as suddenly as I was happy at the end of 09 and the beginning of 10, that's how fast my year became bleak, hard and downright miserable around March. I'm not really sure what happened...I guess it was many things. Realizing that I wasn't happy, realizing that God wanted me to go places, do things and let go of certain people so that I could move on. Dealing with the disappointment of an unsatisfying home life, social life and job. Just knowing in my heart that where I was was not where I wanted (or was supposed) to be. All came crashing down on me at once.

  I ran away from my best friend, lost the person I most loved to talk to, to a new job in a different city. I discovered that no matter what I do in life my father hates me and always will. By the summer I was done. All I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and die (or hide under my covers). I did what I thought I could about all the situations at hand. I became an adult and handled things as best I knew how. I got through "the valley" as I called it and came out the other side...Only to be kicked in the stomach work wise...

 Then I realized something about this journey, this year...2010. The year that sucked sucked because I needed to learn some things. I need to learn about myself and the people around me. I needed to weed out my relationships and find new ones. I needed to lean on God and not do it all myself. So when October came around and I was blindsided by other people's agendas I didn't take it personal, I took it as God again taking charge and giving me something I needed, something better, that will help me to further understand myself.

  2010 wasn't all bad...I began my adventure with Mary Kay and I gained some new friends. I learned a lot and though I did have to say good bye and my heart was broken I understand that there were reasons for all of it. Something I wouldn't have understood before.

  So, now that the year is over and I see a whole new one in front of me my goal is to end the year the same way I started it...by being happy. I want to be able to look back and say, "it wasn't all easy, it wasn't all fun. But through it all I was happy."