Done with it

 A couple of weeks ago I went to family night at Momma Marias house. We (Maria, Danae, Aunite Ruby and I) were having a conversation ranging all topics...one thing struck me (of course it did, it was about me). Danae said that the one attribute of mine that she would like to have is my ability to quit some one and be done with it.

 In truth, I do have that talent...I can decide to be completely and totally done with someone and not give them the time of day...ever! But what I explained to Danae is that it's always a long time coming. I've only ever really decided to give up a relationship on the spot one time. The rest of them have been damaged and the final straw ended an already sad and unhealthy relationship.

 I like to say that when I'm wrong, I'm wrong and will own up to it. All I ask is that the other person do the same thing. However, that's not always the case and some times, some things that are done or said can just throw away an abundance of love...it's a simple word, pharse, look or even joke that has ended many a friendship.

 I don't walk away from these relationships without a broken heart, generally I lay them by the side of the road because my heart can't bear to carry the burden any longer. I'm glad that Danae admires something about me. I'm glad that it's this thing...but I want her to truly know that I'm the kind of person that will let you break my heart repeatedly before I finally give you up....Usually I'm the one most of the damage is done to and I only let go because I need to to stay sane!

 I'm at the point right now, where I'm standing on a cliff...my feet are ready to jump...I can look at the bottom and see the people God has placed there to catch me. Not everyone in my life is standing down there, so inevitably for my own sanity...for my own walk...for me to be able to reach out and truly connect with God I have to let some relationships go by the way aside. 

 I've been telling myself that I need to nuture relationships, that I need to build up good ones and let the unsaveable ones go...that's true, for my sanity...maybe that's selfish, but I have to do what's best...for me!

 Until Next Time!